Today, a man asked me for directions outside of a local store. After about five minutes into the conversation, I noticed he had whipped his penis out and was stroking it. He then asked me if I liked what I saw. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while I was working at a gas station, a man came up to the register with his zipper undone and his penis hanging out in full view. I had to awkwardly hand him his change while trying not to look or make eye contact. FML
Today, I was walking down the street and I saw an old man, and me feeling nice I asked him if I could help him cross the street. He responded with: "Only if you let me touch your tits." FML
Today, while I was waiting at a bus stop, a man stopped at the red light and smiled at me. I smiled back. He blew me a kiss and drove away, just as I realized he was masturbating behind the wheel. FML
Today, while jogging in the park, a confused elderly gentleman asked me for directions, so I told him how to get to where he needed to go. He paused for a long moment, then asked me if he could eat me out. FML
Today, while in a public restroom, a man entered the stall next to me and began vigorously wanking. He finished quickly, but as he was leaving he peeped in at me through the crack in the stall door. FML
Today, I was walking home when I made eye contact with some guy, just being friendly. He then started rapping at me while pointing at his dick. FML
Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML
Today, I was walking down the street and while stopped at a light, this old man waved at me. Thinking nothing of it, I walked through a parking lot to get to where I was going, where he not only followed me, but mistook me for a prostitute. It was 5pm. FML
Today, while babysitting a six year-old boy, he asked me if I could show him my "boobies." I said no, that wouldn't be very appropriate. Suddenly, he pulled down his undies and pointed at his package while exclaiming, "Look, my penis is on again!" It was pointing RIGHT at me. FML
Today, I was at work. I had a male patient expose himself to me. He then apologized and said he thought that's what I wanted. FML
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Top comments
Araj_Hs 19
I hope you directed your hand to his face, and his path to the police station!
Enslaved 38
Hope you then gave him directions to hell!
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Comments (157)
Brittin8or 12
wth seriously? Just thinking about it gives me the chills
Rozeyyy 25
I would've walked away haha...disturbing much?
Sheepalicious 20
This has to be fake....
harmtouch16 11
"An den?"
kspice21 7
Creep!!
vampire1618 5
How is that not noticed right away if he had taken his dick out? I'd understand if he was just rubbing himself, guys could have some dick whipping out power I don't know of though.
Brilliant66star 17
Where on this planet does it take a full five minutes to be directed to? If it takes that long to give somebody directions, either you think you know where the place is but you don't, or you know the place and after your rambling explanation the person is left totally confused. Also, you may be a little slow on the uptake if it took so long for you to 'notice' the exposed penis, et cetera. How naïve are you..? YDI.
ShadowlessSpear 21
Slow your roll. "5 minutes"is avery common "measurement" of time that can mean just about anything. Also, some guy whipping out his schlong can, in no way, be the OP's fault.
limabeans101029 21
85- He probably wanted to keep OP talking so he could be an absolute creep for a little while longer. OP didn't deserve that in any way whatsoever.
GamerPerson 19
OR! Here's a thought: The guy was asking questions after questions just WAITING for OP to look down finally and notice his junk. Did thought ever occur to you?
Wabba001 10
Haha that must've been awkward! How did it take you so long to notice though?
heryseshta 9
Suddenly the song "Keep it in Your Pants" by Taryn Southern is playing in my head.
hardy24 9
You should have immediately replied with "hold on, let me whip out my dick too"