Today, a man asked me for directions outside of a local store. After about five minutes into the conversation, I noticed he had whipped his penis out and was stroking it. He then asked me if I liked what I saw. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while I was working at a gas station, a man came up to the register with his zipper undone and his penis hanging out in full view. I had to awkwardly hand him his change while trying not to look or make eye contact. FML
Today, I was walking down the street and I saw an old man, and me feeling nice I asked him if I could help him cross the street. He responded with: "Only if you let me touch your tits." FML
Today, while I was waiting at a bus stop, a man stopped at the red light and smiled at me. I smiled back. He blew me a kiss and drove away, just as I realized he was masturbating behind the wheel. FML
Today, while jogging in the park, a confused elderly gentleman asked me for directions, so I told him how to get to where he needed to go. He paused for a long moment, then asked me if he could eat me out. FML
Today, while in a public restroom, a man entered the stall next to me and began vigorously wanking. He finished quickly, but as he was leaving he peeped in at me through the crack in the stall door. FML
Today, I was walking home when I made eye contact with some guy, just being friendly. He then started rapping at me while pointing at his dick. FML
Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML
Today, I was walking down the street and while stopped at a light, this old man waved at me. Thinking nothing of it, I walked through a parking lot to get to where I was going, where he not only followed me, but mistook me for a prostitute. It was 5pm. FML
Today, while babysitting a six year-old boy, he asked me if I could show him my "boobies." I said no, that wouldn't be very appropriate. Suddenly, he pulled down his undies and pointed at his package while exclaiming, "Look, my penis is on again!" It was pointing RIGHT at me. FML
Today, I was at work. I had a male patient expose himself to me. He then apologized and said he thought that's what I wanted. FML
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Top comments
Araj_Hs 19
I hope you directed your hand to his face, and his path to the police station!
Enslaved 38
Hope you then gave him directions to hell!
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Comments (157)
keiNan_fml 35
I hope you kicked his balls and made scream in pain.
Peachtranquility 15
Well that's a fantastic conversation starter!
sarah2453 17
And you didn't notice this when it happened why?! How can you be that deep into conversation to not notice him doing that?
Mossygirl357 12
I hope you showed him by beating his ass.
OgBloodRaven 10
Okay I will ask the question everyone is wondering. Did you like what you saw?
laden_swallow09 35
No. Nobody's wondering. Nobody of any intelligence, anyway. Refer to #1's comment.
OgBloodRaven 10
For this being a website being built around the concept of humor. Why does no one seem to have a sense of one? This guy (my point). Mister intelligent here.
yolololol3 17
I would have gave him directions to somewhere far away.
Colon_Man 17
Ahh. I see Anthony Wiener still lives in New York.
martin8337 36
I see that a few comments refer to kicking him in the nuts. The guy needs mental help, hebis obviously crazy.
amileah13 26
*cringes*
ashweaver 12
He was trying to give you directions as well (;