Today, a man asked me for directions outside of a local store. After about five minutes into the conversation, I noticed he had whipped his penis out and was stroking it. He then asked me if I liked what I saw. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while I was working at a gas station, a man came up to the register with his zipper undone and his penis hanging out in full view. I had to awkwardly hand him his change while trying not to look or make eye contact. FML
Today, I was walking down the street and I saw an old man, and me feeling nice I asked him if I could help him cross the street. He responded with: "Only if you let me touch your tits." FML
Today, while I was waiting at a bus stop, a man stopped at the red light and smiled at me. I smiled back. He blew me a kiss and drove away, just as I realized he was masturbating behind the wheel. FML
Today, while jogging in the park, a confused elderly gentleman asked me for directions, so I told him how to get to where he needed to go. He paused for a long moment, then asked me if he could eat me out. FML
Today, while in a public restroom, a man entered the stall next to me and began vigorously wanking. He finished quickly, but as he was leaving he peeped in at me through the crack in the stall door. FML
Today, I was walking home when I made eye contact with some guy, just being friendly. He then started rapping at me while pointing at his dick. FML
Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML
Today, I was walking down the street and while stopped at a light, this old man waved at me. Thinking nothing of it, I walked through a parking lot to get to where I was going, where he not only followed me, but mistook me for a prostitute. It was 5pm. FML
Today, while babysitting a six year-old boy, he asked me if I could show him my "boobies." I said no, that wouldn't be very appropriate. Suddenly, he pulled down his undies and pointed at his package while exclaiming, "Look, my penis is on again!" It was pointing RIGHT at me. FML
Today, I was at work. I had a male patient expose himself to me. He then apologized and said he thought that's what I wanted. FML
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Top comments
Araj_Hs 19
I hope you directed your hand to his face, and his path to the police station!
Enslaved 38
Hope you then gave him directions to hell!
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Comments (157)
AfroFluff 23
You should have said something like "I don't like things that will end up behind bars". That is nasty and sexual harrasment. Hopefully you are not too scarred OP
swaggyswagswag 17
It takes 5 minutes to give directions to someone?
InapropriateElmo 6
Well, did you like what you saw?
xluciferx666 21
Looks like Charlie sheen is at it again
MrSmush 19
That man has some balls
NewMom_NoSleep 1
Land of the free, home of the brave. Where he's free and you're...well, you see where I'm going with this. FYL OP
Paws_Cat 29
Could have been worse, you could've been on the metro.
Nagi 21
There's a special place in hell for people like him.
anthony99 14
Still a better love story than Twilight
marigoldcobain 21
You should have said, "I do," really flirtatiously and asked for his phone to put your number in. Then, call the police.