Today, I was confronted by my superiors for spending a "suspicious" amount of time in the bathroom every day. Not only did I have to take the test, but I also had to send in a doctor's note proving that I have a bowel condition I'd hoped to keep secret. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to take a dump in a box for a stool test. FML
Today, I had to call out of work because I was ill, but they didn't believe me because today was the day I was supposed to come back from vacation. Now I'm stuck at work, constantly running to the bathroom, and they still won't let me go home. FML
Today, I was absolutely busting to poop, so badly that I began to sweat. This was while I was sitting a medical exam, and had to write in depth about the mechanical and chemical process of digestion. FML
Today, I had to call in sick to work because I was experiencing bowel distress. I called my manager's phone directly so no one else would know of my embarrassment. She put me on speakerphone, and I only realized when the juvenile laughter started. FML
Today, my mother made me see the doctor to see if I had irritable bowel syndrome, on the account of how often I go to the restroom. I then had to admit I only go in there to get away from my family. My doctor thought it was hilarious. My mom didn't. FML
Today, I finally figured out why I've been getting diarrhea so often over the past six months. It only happens whenever I do something "sneaky". My body reacts strongly to how I stress over potentially getting caught. I'm a private investigator, and I apparently need a new career. FML
Today, as a reward for starting to eating healthy, I got the squits at work. After going to the restroom, my stall didn't have toilet paper, the other two stalls didn't have any either. My boss definitely noticed too when he walked in on me with my pants around my ankles. FML
Today, I nearly got written up for "publicly humiliating" a coworker. All because I left a note in the restroom asking whoever keeps peeing all over the floor to please be considerate of other people. FML
Today, I had to cancel an appointment due to diarrhea. I was so nervous that when the receptionist asked why, I told her, "I can't stop shitting." FML
Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML
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Top comments
GhostFox 34
They should leave you alone about it now, on the bright side. Plus, now that they know it's a medical condition they can't fire or reprimand you for your amount of time spent in the bathroom because it would be discrimination for a medical condition. It also shouldn't be told to anyone that isn't your manager, so your coworkers should remain oblivious.
GhostFox 34
Presumably a drug test- people with drug addictions will use bathrooms as a private location to use their drug of choice.
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Comments (15)
SabriLittleRed 25
Couldn’t hold it in any longer ??
Glowworm56 27
Hey, when you really gotta go, you really gotta go.
GhostFox 34
They should leave you alone about it now, on the bright side. Plus, now that they know it's a medical condition they can't fire or reprimand you for your amount of time spent in the bathroom because it would be discrimination for a medical condition. It also shouldn't be told to anyone that isn't your manager, so your coworkers should remain oblivious.
Sparx1_1 16
Since he is clearly away from his work for long periods of time, they can, legally and with cause, fire him for failing to disclose his medical condition. If they do let him keep the job, he can be denied employer extended medical benefits, face a wage review (less work means less pay), be moved to a lesser position or have his hours cut. In extreme cases he can even be sued or face other legal action.
Quantumpanda 13
Unfortunately, it doesn't necessarily work that way. If they can tie it to an existing time-and-attendance policy, they can fire you under that without ever having to cite the condition. Having a documented condition doesn't exempt you from policies unless you have a written agreement (such as an ADA accommodation) that says this condition exempts you. And if they deny an accommodation, your only recourse is a lawsuit.
Isamermaid 17
...take what test?
GhostFox 34
Presumably a drug test- people with drug addictions will use bathrooms as a private location to use their drug of choice.
exileonmainst 16
Same thing happened to me. Well, kind of.. I have a bowl condition, I do too much pottery.
Bigus1234 6
Have a shit sitting at your desk. Let them decide if the "extra breaks" are worth it.
RichardPencil 32
Sounds like a ... ... wait on it ... IBS-y situation!
Cali 57
Nina will hear of this.
Lee Williams 2
Obviously, while a medical condition is beyond your control, it is your own fault of you failed to disclose either a pre-existing or recent medical condition to your employer that could impact upon your work. While they can no longer reprimand you for the time you spend in the bathroom, they would be fully capable of dismissing you for failure to disclose relevant medical information. Only upper management and your HR department should be aware of the issue, so your condition will not become widely known amongst your colleagues; if it does, you may have a legal case against your employer for allowing personal medical information to be spread amongst your workplace, causing you undue stress and embarrassment. In future, tell your employer about any condition that can impact your ability to do your job!
Quantumpanda 13
I sympathize. I was fired from a job several years ago over a similar issue…not because of the issue itself, but because they made me use FMLA leave time to not get written up for being away from my desk for so long. When I ran out of FMLA time, they denied an extension and an ADA accommodation for my well-documented condition, then wrote me up anyway. Time and attendance policies are such sh*t.
jfsiv 17
That makes me a sad panda.
sharond23 10
I'm confused. what test? and if youre in the bathroom a lot I can understand it being questioned.