Today, a man asked me for directions outside of a local store. After about five minutes into the conversation, I noticed he had whipped his penis out and was stroking it. He then asked me if I liked what I saw. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while I was working at a gas station, a man came up to the register with his zipper undone and his penis hanging out in full view. I had to awkwardly hand him his change while trying not to look or make eye contact. FML
Today, I was walking down the street and I saw an old man, and me feeling nice I asked him if I could help him cross the street. He responded with: "Only if you let me touch your tits." FML
Today, while I was waiting at a bus stop, a man stopped at the red light and smiled at me. I smiled back. He blew me a kiss and drove away, just as I realized he was masturbating behind the wheel. FML
Today, while jogging in the park, a confused elderly gentleman asked me for directions, so I told him how to get to where he needed to go. He paused for a long moment, then asked me if he could eat me out. FML
Today, while in a public restroom, a man entered the stall next to me and began vigorously wanking. He finished quickly, but as he was leaving he peeped in at me through the crack in the stall door. FML
Today, I was walking home when I made eye contact with some guy, just being friendly. He then started rapping at me while pointing at his dick. FML
Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML
Today, I was walking down the street and while stopped at a light, this old man waved at me. Thinking nothing of it, I walked through a parking lot to get to where I was going, where he not only followed me, but mistook me for a prostitute. It was 5pm. FML
Today, while babysitting a six year-old boy, he asked me if I could show him my "boobies." I said no, that wouldn't be very appropriate. Suddenly, he pulled down his undies and pointed at his package while exclaiming, "Look, my penis is on again!" It was pointing RIGHT at me. FML
Today, I was at work. I had a male patient expose himself to me. He then apologized and said he thought that's what I wanted. FML
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Top comments
Araj_Hs 19
I hope you directed your hand to his face, and his path to the police station!
Enslaved 38
Hope you then gave him directions to hell!
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Comments (157)
Marcelb 17
It was probably all a misunderstanding. He wasn't asking for directions, he was offering erections.
heylady6911 6
you should have known a man never asks for directions. xD
LoamierGhost 6
Par for the course in New York. No one should be shocked by this when they see the location.
_srennison_ 1
The funny thing about this is this exact same thing happened to me. I'm only a year older, my name is Sammie, and it happened at a hospital rather than a store.
MrBa 7
I still can't get over the fact that he thought that would work
lkjhgcx 2
that happened to me and my friend when we were 10. he was 30 or so and hair. very creepy
GAeroNKissR 26
this happened to my sis & I when we were in middle school. She was talking because she was better with street names & just as he drove away our eyes drifted down & realized he had no pants!! He didn't appear creepy so we blushed & brushed it off...but looking back now - yeah, we should have reported him!
ad1836 19
If a woman did something similar it would be all fun and jokes