Today, I was walking home when I made eye contact with some guy, just being friendly. He then started rapping at me while pointing at his dick. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, someone walking my way started waving. I waved back until I realized he wasn't looking at me. To make things worse, while walking past he said, "Get a fucking friend." FML
Today, I was walking home when an old guy came up to me asking for directions. After I pointed him in the right direction, he held my hand, stroked my face then pushed me into a bush. FML
Today, at work I got a message from some dude trying to flirt with me. While I was cracking up and making fun of him with my friends, I get a message from him saying look directly behind you, and there he was staring at me. FML
Today, I was walking down the street and while stopped at a light, this old man waved at me. Thinking nothing of it, I walked through a parking lot to get to where I was going, where he not only followed me, but mistook me for a prostitute. It was 5pm. FML
Today, I was walking to school with my earphones in, when someone tapped me on the shoulder. I was shocked, and whirled around to hit him in the crotch. I soon realized he was just trying to return the commuter pass I'd dropped at the station. FML
Today, while hanging out with this guy I'm interested in, we turned and made eye contact. We were face to face and I thought he was finally going to kiss me. He decided to lick my face from chin to forehead instead. FML
Today, while riding the bus, a creepy guy gave me the "rape glare" and another guy repeated every word to the conversation I was having with my friend under his breath. FML
Today, I saw an unbelievably cute guy. He caught my eye and began to walk towards me. I adjusted myself and flashed him a smile. He came up to me, smiled back, and said "Hi, do you have a minute for gay rights?" FML
Today, I was walking home when a man passed me and stopped. Thinking he was staring at my butt, I asked him kindly to stop. He then laughed and grabbed my wallet that was in my back pocket, and ran. He wasn't staring at my butt, and found it funny that I thought he was. FML
Today, while walking home with my boyfriend, he jokingly slapped my butt. A man as old as my dad drove by, yelled "Wooo, spank that ass! DAMN!" and kept leering at me before finally driving off. FML
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Top comments
Vitualamen 11
Classy. He may have talent.. And several restraining orders. Take it as a compliment!
Wizardo 34
If I've learnt anything from Pokémon its that you don't make eye contact with people, you just get into unwanted battles... in this case unwanted rap battles.
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Comments (91)
Vitualamen 11
Classy. He may have talent.. And several restraining orders. Take it as a compliment!
Blackcatluck 19
Hey rapping is better then raping! Which is what i originally thought this FML was about..
oj101 33
He could've gone like; #Picked up a ho, And i'ma pick up herpes, yo, But it ain't no matter, Cos YOLO#
bingbongbingbong 11
You have a dirty mind, shame on you !!
Punkyxoxo 14
Well Sing to him and point at your Vaj?
Jake_Hale 7
#40 better than bieber.
jc10x 8
71- bieber jokes got old a while ago.
Theglc20 27
Hey, At least he knows something about music right? Always good for a potential partner.
completerubbish 17
That depends on your definition of 'music'...
RoboCunnilingus 23
Are you one of those "rap isn't music" idiots?
golden_warrior 23
8 - if you have rapped at a high level the you would know how difficult it is. Trying telling a story while rhyming at the same time. I do realize that there are lot of garbage rappers due to YouTube but don't judge rap music based on them. Listen to Nas, Rakim, Tupac to name a few and you will realize how hard it is to rap while conveying a message outside of hoes, money and drugs.
Blackcatluck 19
It is hard to rap since you have to include the n-word in every verse and still make it rhyme!
golden_warrior 23
LMAO. Sad part is that these lame rappers rhyme the N word with the N word. It used to be brothers and sistas. Now it's n**gas and bitches -- Tupac Shakur
kurodansei 16
speaking of youtube rappers..... you should also try.... Dumbfoundead, Wax, Streetlight Prince EA, WATSKY, Delazoo, Funk Volume, Team Backpack, and.... Me!(click my profile) I'm not that great yet though lol.
Kn0wledge123 21
#43 that last comment essentially proved that you're an idiot.
AboveAll04 14
slob on his knob lol
Soniye 14
And 2 girls 1 cup will put the knob down !! xD *i have a sick humor*
JACKxRAWR 22
*no humour
EnterSandman_fml 20
I'm glad I'm not the only one that remembers the old 'Slob on his knob' rap FML.
jayceejaco 15
Like corn on a cob
Soniye 14
33- I'm not British so it's humor to me :P
gpg5 19
Wow, he's pathetic
Pesticides 19
it's a little thing called over compensation
addioty 19
What up chick, this be my dick, ill take you for a ride and yeah it'll be sick wait what
AboveAll04 14
maybe that's his way of asking you out ? Idk what to tell you....
ironichalibut 24
There's worse pickup lines.. But probably not many..
lbrown66 12
If you didn't know what to tell them then why did you comment?
ImGucci 8
He's just trying to sell you his new mixtape "my dick got da hoes"
underthesea12 24
how romantic!
ShadowWolfoxImp 18
XD that's crazy! Take it as funny and keep moving on.
Wizardo 34
If I've learnt anything from Pokémon its that you don't make eye contact with people, you just get into unwanted battles... in this case unwanted rap battles.
tegraturbo2000 15
thats great
nite66 21
Thumbs up for the Pokemon reference lol
RockN 10
You should've said "DISGUSTING" *in a scottish accent*