Today, at work, I was on my break when I had to use the bathroom. I was on the toilet taking a dump when the door latch loosened and the door swung open. The little girl standing there took one look and screamed. Security busted in. My pants were still down. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I went to the bathroom in a port-a-potty at a park, I forgot to lock the door. A little girl opens the door and then slams it right away. As she walked away I heard her say "no, there's a man in there". I'm a woman. FML
Today, I was using the restroom when a little girl tried to open my stall. It was locked, so she slid under the door and tried to have a conversation with me while I was pooping. FML
Today, I was at work and I needed to pee. In my haste, I forgot to lock the door. A coworker walked in on me and I bolted up mid-stream to slam the door back shut. I had pee down my leg and pee squishing in my shoes for the rest of the day. I can still remember his tone of voice, yelling, "Sorry"! FML
Today, I was hiding in the toilets at work, catching a quick pee/phone/vape break between patients. Pants down, scrolling my phone, puffing away. Suddenly the stall door opens and my manager is standing in front of me, staring. The stall door latch hadn’t closed properly. Now I can’t look her in the eye. FML
Today, I was in a busy airport bathroom with my three year-old son. While in the process of pulling my pants down, my son decided to open the stall door. I jumped up to yank the door closed, but not before the line of waiting women saw me with my pants wrapped around my ankles. FML
Today, I used the bathroom that the high school shares with elementary kids. As I was pulling my pants down, my phone fell out of my pocket into the other stall. As I was reaching for it, the little girl in the other stall took it and ran away. FML
Today, I had to use the restroom while at work. I had the choice of the stall with a broken lock, or the stall with a huge crack in the partition wall. Not two minutes after I sat down, I noticed someone peeking in. FML
Today, I had to take an urgent dump at work. I noticed too late there was no toilet paper left, so I had to risk doing a quick "pants around the knees" shuffle to the next stall. I locked eyes with the window cleaner at the same time I heard someone enter from behind me. FML
Today, I went to a dinner party. I had a bad stomach, so I made a dash to the bathroom and forgot to lock the door. While I was in, I heard some voices outside. In a panic, my reflex was to get up and lock the door. I did so, while simultaneously shitting all over myself. FML
Today, I had no choice but to use a porta potty. I was happy to get a clean one. I wasn't happy when a young child tried opening the door and used enough force to break the lock, showing me sitting on the toilet to the world. FML
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Top comments
Luckster 0
Dude, it's a bathroom. What was she expecting?
allmidnighteyes 11
Maybe OP's vaginal area resembles the forests of Mirkwood? Or perhaps a ruptured whoopee cushion?
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Comments (71)
malikotako 0
I'm sorry, that sucks.
icancelledschool 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
why is a little girl in the guys toilet?
allmidnighteyes 11
OP is a woman, you dumbfuck
thinginthetub 0
OP is female
EMR_fml 0
Yeah OP is female but that just makes this more confusing. Why would a little girl shriek after seeing a woman taking a dump in the woman's restroom? Isn't that the whole reason they make restrooms for women? So they can take a dump?
allmidnighteyes 11
Maybe OP's vaginal area resembles the forests of Mirkwood? Or perhaps a ruptured whoopee cushion?
EMR_fml 0
Thanks for the nightmares
allmidnighteyes 11
You're welcome ♥
pingpongpickle 8
fyl. I bet the security screamed too
carpediem9_fml 0
lol
waterynuggets 0
For some reason this reminded me of that ep of Curb your Enthusiasm when he was in the bathroom and shoved a big water bottle in his pants right before a little girl walked in
inconvienentgurl 0
ok wth? o.0 n y is a little girl in the guys bathroom? as 4 the little girl seeing the O.P. she probably didnt want to see that n maybe freaked out, screamed, and ran. or maybe the door swinging open w/ the person behind it scared her? FYL O.P. ...i'd hate to go through that. way too embarassing!!
sublime93 0
The OPs a woman you dumb bitch
xorgasmicx 0
They were talking about the post they commented on, you dumb bitch.
DameGreyWulf 1
... What the hell?
Luckster 0
Dude, it's a bathroom. What was she expecting?
well_this_sucks 0
i know right.. its not gunna be carnival or anything xD
nnour 1
haaaard .
xoxcinderellaxox 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
ydi. one of the reasons why i never take dumps in public restrooms.
jweb1434 6
Yes, he definitely deserves to be walked in on by a little girl while taking a dump.... You're smart good
lolzRaptor 1
I have no witty comment to make, just: "lol"
hardcorecaslol 3
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
why say dump for you are rude!!
bookworm124 0
What, would you rather her say something else? "Taking a dump" is polite for this culture. I know plenty of people who would call it "taking a shit," or something worse. OP - It sucked for the moment, but it's not as bad as it would be were you a guy. FYL for a while, then move on.
T1A2Z3 35
How is an entire security team seeing you naked worse if you're a guy??
v1knownaz_chris 0
love #12's reply xDDD rofl
Goobian 3
Ooohh... at a restaurant a few weeks ago a lady opened the door on me and said something like hey lock the door! I thought it was locked.... I turned the thing on the doorknob... what really sucked I was text messaging on my cell phone while I was on the toilet haha she must of thought I was really weird... but yeah I feel ya. I am not using THAT restaurant's bathroom again.
XOfiestypixie 0
That sucks. Sometimes the locks on public bathroom doors don't work and never get replaced because the owners of the restaurant/whatever are too lazy to fix the lock. And you should've replied with something like: "hey, ever heard of knocking, bitch?". I hate it when people don't knock before trying to open a single-bathroom door at a restaurant.
DrCoolSanta 0
Who said they were lazy =P
Dajudge06 0
Try taking a shit at you gf house while her little sister has friends over, and one of them opens the door on you. That was mortifying.