Today, my 6-year-old nephew told me that he wanted to grow up already, so that he could smoke, drink and, "fuck like a rabbit." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 8-year-old nephew told me he liked the way I smelt. Apparently I smell like "cat food and cheese." FML
Today, my nephew asked me how babies are made. I thought he'd had this chat with his mom, but I went in to it again. After a 20 minute 'discussion', he says "So what about the good stuff - get to the blowjobs and the lesbians." He's 11. FML
Today, I was playing with my little nephew and began to tickle him playfully, even though I know he doesn't like to be tickled. When I was done, he looked me straight in the eye, punched me in the groin, and told me, "No one tickles me". He's six. FML
Today, I had to supervise my 9 year-old nephew taking a shower, because he won't wash with soap or shampoo unless someone makes him. Instead, he blows three-inch-long green and brown boogers out of his nose that dangle from his nostril. He's disgusting and hasn't even hit puberty yet. This is future of the world. FML
Today, I went out to eat dinner with my family to celebrate my 18th birthday. I playfully put 3 straws between my knuckles to make myself look like Wolverine. I turned to my 6 year old nephew and asked, "Who am I?" He then replied, "An idiot." FML
Today, I berated my five-year-old nephew for peeing on the floor. His mom bitched me out for expecting "a little boy to have perfect aim." That's funny, it looked pretty good when he dropped his pants, looked me in the eyes, and started to piss on my rug. FML
Today, my 10-year-old son told me that sometimes he wishes that he could be a girl, so that he could masturbate more easily in public. FML
Today, while my 4 year-old nephew was hugging me, he stepped back and declared, "Auntie, my Pee-do is hard, but it will go away." FML
Today, I asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he grows up. He smiled broadly and said "A porn star!" FML
Today, I was babysitting my nephew and told him he could “say anything” to the nice old lady at the park who gave him candy. He looked her dead in the eye and said, “My aunt says people your age shouldn’t drive anymore.” She glared at me like I'd ran over her cat. FML
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Top comments
Wadlaen 24
Well, it's important to have goals in life😅
cuz803 46
Precocious mindsets are adorably tragic...
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Comments (7)
Wadlaen 24
Well, it's important to have goals in life😅
cuz803 46
Precocious mindsets are adorably tragic...
mike3775 39
Does he have older brothers? It’s hilarious what he said. I just wonder where he learned it
ojoRojo 27
Something’s not right there 😳
idragosani 17
Isn't that why everyone wants grow up... except that's usually how we think when we are teenagers, not six year olds.
FrankHotpants 31
As we grow so do our views on life and goals. I’m sure he’ll grow out of it