Today, my dad and I got into a fight over who gets the last corner piece of the brownies. I ended up with a black eye and and a sprained wrist. He ended up with the brownie and ran away laughing. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad threw a waffle at my face for his own amusement. FML
Today, my dad and mom and I were going out to eat dinner. My dad wanted a romantic dinner just with my mom so he told me to make an excuse not to go. I did, which ended up as a huge fight, grounded and phone taken away. My dad just stood there in the background putting thumbs up. FML
Today, I saw two kids having a fistfight in the street. I ran over to stop them, and one ended up hitting me in the eye. I now have a black eye over what turned out to have been a fight over who was going to get the last slice of pizza. FML
Today, I baked some brownies and after my mom ate one, I joked that I put weed in them. Turns out the placebo effect's a bitch, because she quickly started acting high as a kite. One bitch fit later, the brownies are in the trash and I'm grounded until I tell her where I bought the "weed". FML
Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out of the oven, my husband slapped my butt. I fell into the oven. FML
Today, my mom and dad got into a fight, during which my dad said to my mom that her health conditions were of her own doing. Because of that, I got pissed and had a fight with my dad, taking my mom's side. Turns out, my mom took his side and ratted me out. FML
Today, I got slapped in the face by my girlfriend with a banana skin, because I finished up the chocolate cake. FML
Today, I made brownies for my co-workers. My boss called me into his office, and I though he was going to compliment me on the baking. Instead, he talked about how his 5-year-old daughter can make brownies better than me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight after the gym. Then, a cheesecake I'd baked for a client cracked all the way through. Then, my oven broke as I was trying to make a new one, so I left to bake it at a friend's house, at which point I locked my keys and all of my supplies inside my car. FML
Today, I injured my knee and dislocated my shoulder fighting over a cookie with my brother. He's 14. I'm 26. He still got the cookie. FML
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Top comments
DanbotXIII 10
You must train harder to snatch pebble from palm, grasshopper.
Freeze_fml 17
Food chain in effect.
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Comments (161)
wokawokanomnom 5
Your dad is a boss haha
boofgall 16
I'm a little tired of everything being referred to as being "boss".
TheDeadlyTurtle 7
Make a new batch of brownies then eat the corner pieces first then move some center pieces to the corners then melt Exlax over them Then do the finger pyramid of evil (Mr. burns) Then do an evil laugh.
vip3r20 8
but who eats the corner pieces in the first place? those are always the more cooked parts and pretty much the worst. wouldn't you fight over the center??
Izzi_Swim 0
39 - and I'm tired of your pro pic r u still in middle school? Ur obnoxiouss
diidiimi 10
Premeditated, I like that. ?
diidiimi 10
They're the best!! That's where the chocolatey goodness is concentrated! Like the crunchy brown bits on the bottom of the roasting pan. ?
itstesshomo 2
hahahh
MostDopeee 0
Parenting at its finest. [:
xcowboys 0
Make a fresh batch of weed brownies and let him have it all. While he is violently high steal his wallet and go to town at bestbuy :)
TheDeadlyTurtle 7
Everyone's comment in this thread is boss! 39-except yours. And maybe the chick laughing basically an "lol" but that's worse than receiving a bunch of texts only saying "lol" And it builds character lol.
xoconnie 8
thats abuse
tanneriscool 2
Who wants the corner piece?! I go for middle pieces :) yumm...
NuTrees 9
Wow. Am I the only one who hopes this was fake? Over a brownie a father sprained his childs wrist.. And someone called that boss? I'm so done with this world.
ProjeKtSC2 8
Hey #39.... No one cares! ;)
xxDefiantxx 0
y
Freeze_fml 17
Food chain in effect.
cinamonkoko 15
op should take some martial arts lessons
boofgall 16
Survival of the fittest!
jamsmunoz 0
Well either he's a fatass or a pothead
BuhZinga 2
Jumber10 , do you realize how dumb you just sounded?
TheDeadlyTurtle 7
There was no food thread in this comment section :( here I'll start cookies are amazing :D 87 can I have what you're smoking?
piratepride77 0
well.. i mean.. it WAS the corner piece..
xHarleyQuinnx 0
Hahhaha lol ik
Slice_of_Life_fml 0
I like the middle pieces better. Softer and more gooey.
RavagedSoul 0
Be a man. Stand up to your father. Well they do say you will grow up to be like your father. Quite a scary thought... If you are female, you know how to piss him off
Happiness2Joy 3
There are pans that bake brownies and gets all the pieces to have that crunchy corner.
mylifepwnz 0
Corner pieces ftw. And your dad... Wow.
DanbotXIII 10
You must train harder to snatch pebble from palm, grasshopper.
Fruit_Dealer 9
Mango.
kaylalove1234 0
dumb
InfamousRaider 15
Dat photo
Gyromee 0
Those must be some good brownies..
CalCommando 6
The corner pieces always taste like crap anyway.
lovelydarlings 6
Corner pieces are delicious!
molly2moon 0
61 - the corner peices are the best. Like a symphony of sweet gooey choclate heaven and crunchy delicious awesomeness all in one little brownie.
NuTrees 9
Must be some weed brownies
tsim_fml 0
maybe dad likes to "bake" if ya know what im sayin
kirsty1551 3
he punched u?! what a nice dad u have..
iMarris 0
I thought the same thing. Psychopath?
Nolnah 14
make another batch just for him and put laxatives in it! muhah!
robertlovespi 3
Domestic violence... Don't think it can't happen to you! and you... and even YOU!
CryMoreFMLs 15
A hobo will live in your chimney and start beating you up.
Fruit_Dealer 9
Don't even try to escape. A hobo will build you a chimney if you don't have one.
Enslaved 38
I love the corner piece of baked brownies. For some reason they taste so much better than the center.(:
ikickgingers 15
I gave chocolate up for lent a couple years ago and never went back. I never did like the ends though. :/
Torva_fml 16
Well I'm glad I'm not the only one who likes the corners.
Dawnxxoo 11
can u blame him? it's brownies!
JayJayAttackAtta 5
Not just any brownies... It's the corner piece!!!