Today, a haunted house opened up next to my restaurant and they've gotten into the habit of scaring me as I'm cleaning up at night. They stay open for another month. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, l was crouched on the ground in the doorway at a haunted mansion. It's part of my job here to scare the people passing by. A 12 year-old girl walked by, I grabbed her leg, and she kicked me in the face. FML
Today, I was working a haunted house. I have a really good spot where I hide and scare people. This really hot guy was walking up, and I jumped out and screamed. He punched me in the face. FML
Today, I used a restroom. While doing my thing, the power in my building completely went out. There was another person in the restroom making demonic noises and scratching at my stall. When the power came back on, he was gone. I think I'm being haunted. FML
Today, my new neighbor informed me with great relish that the house I have just bought is haunted because 30 years ago a man shot himself in the kitchen. I'm now paying a huge mortgage on a house I'm frightened to be alone in. FML
Today, I went to a "haunted" theme park. Actors had been trying to scare me the whole night. I was waiting by an outdoor heater for my friend when a hand came out of nowhere close to my face. I screamed at the top of my lungs, but it was only some chick wanting to warm her hands by the heater. FML
Today, after months of peace and quiet since January, a new family moved into the apartment below me ten minutes before I was about to go to sleep. They've been here for 30 minutes and already they're stomping and banging doors all over the place. FML
Today, it's been three days since I started working 12-hour night shifts. My neighbors have now decided to renovate their house. They're focusing on the rooms sharing my wall. FML
Today, the great deal on my new apartment has turned into a nightmare. I keep hearing extremely weird sounds almost every night, and when I tried taking pics of the place today, my camera's face recognition feature kept activating, but only in my bedroom. I'm scared shitless. FML
Today, my supervisor locked me in the women's bathroom as I was cleaning it. I heard the owner scolding him, so I waited for the door to open, thinking he got in trouble. It wasn't until I heard the front gate locking that I realized I'm staying the night in the bathroom. FML
Today, I came home to a noise complaint letter taped to my apartment door. I haven't been home in over a month. FML
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Top comments
MrsPegg 45
I personally find that awesome! People pay good money for a good scare and you're getting it for free! If it is at all possible, maybe you can get them back(you may as well make the best of it)?
mikepzz 27
make them pasta on the house. use lots and lots of xlax. lock your bathrooms :)
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Comments (96)
jessikamahone 6
Just get used to it?
XxNINJA_28xX 8
Why are you asking?
sallyfastcat 2
That's a good question?
horseridermc 2
It can't be that scary if u get used to it.
andyyroxx 20
It's easier said than done, although not impossible. If they do it because they find it funny, then fake a cardiac arrest and see who's laughing then.
wallandpiece 16
I'm going to ask something, so feel free to thumb me down as I seem to be the only one questioning this. so I guess none of you guys see the problem with this fml. Anyway- why is there randomly a haunted house 'opening' next to a restaurant? Has nobody else questioned this? A haunted house is opening. Aren't houses supposed to be just rumoured to be haunted? Just nobody seems bothered by the fact that it's a haunted house which is impossible. And who are 'they'? Ghosts? No. Please explain, someone. I'm really confused.
CheshireHalli 19
Usually there are attractions that open up in October to celebrate Halloween and they charge for their scares. They are known as haunted houses and the "they" refers to the workers.
wallandpiece 16
Oh I see. Well I've never heard of that, only ever seen something remotely similar at the shows that come to town every year. They have funhouses. In England we don't take halloween as seriously as they do across the pond. Excuse my ignorance.
Warden1986 16
#86 In that case the other side of the pond, is more fun then. Although I'm sure England has some cool things that us Americans' do not. Like castles! Speaking of haunted house, that would be cool a haunted castle. Though I'm sure in the Romina Vlad The Impaler's castle would be cool to go into. That is it wasn't destroyed by the war(s).
wallandpiece 16
95- I'm pretty certain it's still there. Vlad Dracula was excellent because he just did not give a shit.
CheshireHalli 19
86 - That's perfectly fine. Not everybody knows everything about the way thing are celebrated in other countries. I'm just glad I was able to help.
MrsPegg 45
I personally find that awesome! People pay good money for a good scare and you're getting it for free! If it is at all possible, maybe you can get them back(you may as well make the best of it)?
LiyIa_fml 8
Happy Halloween!
TheWindowLicker 13
Some people aren't into that. Personally, I find it stupid and would get pretty pissed if it were me.
abbyabb 4
I like the optimism :)
timjones 8
This is a good way to attract more customers.
PeachesnCream88 0
PAYBACK TIME :D
tekinzdudez 0
wow, this site sucks haha.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Wow, you suck haha. /copying him
Posthuman 26
3, if it sucks so much, then why are you here?
DocBastard 40
You two above me are WAY too nice. Here, let me try: If you don't ******* like it here, **** the **** off before the mods shove a banhammer up your already dilated asshole, asshole. There. Much better.
RaveBlade 4
Just walk around with a baseball bat, no one will dare scare you ;)
patrickalamo 48
Wrap their car
dohdohdoh 13
Naaaa Either a whole fish or pepper spray.
WritingWrongs 8
A baseball bat? I would just always make sure I had a bucket of ice water near me.
felipe87 2
I would start carrying a stun gun
Szaszaspasz 26
Get a paintball gun and practice up for the Zombie Apocalypse.
foreverboredZ 4
That would be perfect for a baseball themed resturant!
Blueglasscup 18
Just give them free food. That'll stop em.
MormonPornstar 7
Sure, let's all just start giving away the product we use to make money. That should solve all our problems... if somebody gave you free food on the regular, woul you leave them alone or come back every night?
outoftown 27
#75, Hot coffee or chocolate for a small staff wouldn't cost much. Possible cross-marketing opportunity?
MormonPornstar 7
I don't see how your brilliant business plan is going to help OP's problem.
CuriousAlien 7
Next time they do that have a bat ready, then beat the crap outta them and say that you thought it was an intruder. Or you can plan something scary to do back to them. Either way, i guarantee that they would stop.
BellaBelle_fml 23
Violence is never the answer, it's the question. Yes is the answer.
YacL 15
Yeah, being charged with assault always makes me forget about my problems.
iarefatal 9
Step one: assault Step two: get charged with multiple accounts of assault Step three: go to jail Step four: become a hardened convict Step five: escape Step six: while still in orange uniform go to their house, and say it's been a long time... Then you will have the final scare! But you'll probaly go back to jail so... Repeat the posses.
mikepzz 27
make them pasta on the house. use lots and lots of xlax. lock your bathrooms :)
Psych101 9
"Sorry, restrooms are for customers only. Can I interest you in more pasta?
ohmygodxx 1
"restroom is out of order" ....
darwinism 30
You call yourself wolf so act like one and turn the situation around. I don't mean to bite them, but wolves can be scary too. You know when they do it so lay in wait and scare the shit out of them. The opportunities are endless here. Have fun with it.
truckdriver321 3
Cool story, bro.
gc327072 31
48- I think you meant to say "Hey bro good idea!"
panda_burrito 2
No i think the best way would be to get a machine gun,some grenades,, and maybe a bazooka or two, and killeveryone there. Does that sound like a good idea???
BunchieRules 31
70 - Nope.
trellz17 19
Find a way to scare them back.
UncleMuscles 5
Dress up like Slenderman and stand by their cars.
Enslaved 38
I thought you only had to worry about Slenderman if you were under the age of 10? I recently looked up Slenderman to see what everyone was talking about. I must be missing some information. I still don't understand what the scare is all about. :P
emilyjgraham 34
play the game, it's creepy walking around having just a torch and then BAM he's there and you freeze... I was actually too chicken to get through the first mission :(
ManInTheMachine 20
I'm with you Enslaved. The 20 Dollar Mod makes it funny as hell though.
ebdeadaccount 11
The real scare of slender man is from watching the all of the videos from the YouTube channel, MarbleHornets. That's how it started to scare me.