Today, a haunted house opened up next to my restaurant and they've gotten into the habit of scaring me as I'm cleaning up at night. They stay open for another month. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, l was crouched on the ground in the doorway at a haunted mansion. It's part of my job here to scare the people passing by. A 12 year-old girl walked by, I grabbed her leg, and she kicked me in the face. FML
Today, I was working a haunted house. I have a really good spot where I hide and scare people. This really hot guy was walking up, and I jumped out and screamed. He punched me in the face. FML
Today, I used a restroom. While doing my thing, the power in my building completely went out. There was another person in the restroom making demonic noises and scratching at my stall. When the power came back on, he was gone. I think I'm being haunted. FML
Today, my new neighbor informed me with great relish that the house I have just bought is haunted because 30 years ago a man shot himself in the kitchen. I'm now paying a huge mortgage on a house I'm frightened to be alone in. FML
Today, I went to a "haunted" theme park. Actors had been trying to scare me the whole night. I was waiting by an outdoor heater for my friend when a hand came out of nowhere close to my face. I screamed at the top of my lungs, but it was only some chick wanting to warm her hands by the heater. FML
Today, after months of peace and quiet since January, a new family moved into the apartment below me ten minutes before I was about to go to sleep. They've been here for 30 minutes and already they're stomping and banging doors all over the place. FML
Today, it's been three days since I started working 12-hour night shifts. My neighbors have now decided to renovate their house. They're focusing on the rooms sharing my wall. FML
Today, the great deal on my new apartment has turned into a nightmare. I keep hearing extremely weird sounds almost every night, and when I tried taking pics of the place today, my camera's face recognition feature kept activating, but only in my bedroom. I'm scared shitless. FML
Today, my supervisor locked me in the women's bathroom as I was cleaning it. I heard the owner scolding him, so I waited for the door to open, thinking he got in trouble. It wasn't until I heard the front gate locking that I realized I'm staying the night in the bathroom. FML
Today, I came home to a noise complaint letter taped to my apartment door. I haven't been home in over a month. FML
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Top comments
MrsPegg 45
I personally find that awesome! People pay good money for a good scare and you're getting it for free! If it is at all possible, maybe you can get them back(you may as well make the best of it)?
mikepzz 27
make them pasta on the house. use lots and lots of xlax. lock your bathrooms :)
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Comments (96)
slickchrome 11
Key their cars
stormchaser24 24
Maybe try to file a trespass notice against them, that is if they are coming on your property to scare you.
emh86 14
Just casually wear a black cloak and a scream mask when all the customers leave tomorrow..
panda_burrito 2
It was the hash slinging slasher!
Brettersson 0
Barrett's?
harkerk87 3
I would get one of those air megaphone things and blow it at them and scare then back lol
Corrupt_waffles 13
OH MY GOD IM SORRY DUDE!!! I WORK AT THAT HAUNTED HOUSE!!!!! I'm dying right now!!!!
WhiteX 0
Noor, in the 3/4 years I have read FML. This comment is the one that made me make an account. The laughter is still hurting my ribs. Thank you.
weby11 12
Scare them back! Pretend they gave you a heart attack and pretend to die.. And then when they get worried you laugh in their face....... They'll probably leave you alone after that
mosquito19 14
get a large can of pepper spray