Today, my dog overturned and ate my trash, leaving coffee grounds and dog puke all over my floor. She also ate the broom. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got drunk and spewed all over my lounge room floor. My dog ate it up, also got drunk, and also eventually spewed on the floor too. FML
Today, my dog pooped on the floor, and the Roomba my sweet boyfriend bought me as a housewarming gift, ran over it. FML
Today, my dog threw up on my bed while I was sleeping. I lost an hour of the day washing the vomit out with a rag, and my garbage disposal jammed on whatever otherworldly things my dog ate the day before. I had to dig it out by hand. FML
Today, my dog got so excited about a new toy that she vomited all over it. I had to clean up the vomit, throw away the toy, and now have a very sad dog. FML
Today, I went home for lunch. Upon opening the door, I smelled something horrid. My dog had opened his cage, eaten all the dog treats, and had diarrhea all over my bed and bedroom floor. FML
Today, my dog threw up on the tiled floor. I found out at 6 this morning in the dark when I slipped and fell in it. FML
Today, one of my dogs spilled half my coffee at home. My other dog drank the rest of it. Went to Starbucks later, picked my coffee up off the counter, and the lid popped off, spilling all over the counter, floor and my hand. While they were making me a new one, I dropped my sandwich on the floor. FML
Today, I got home from a long day of work and saw a pile of dog puke on the kitchen floor. I went to get paper towels and found a pile of dog shit. With my foot. Both of my kids were home all day and left the piles for me to clean because "that's gross". FML
Today, my dog got his head stuck in a container, panicked, and shat himself all over the living room. FML
Today, I tripped over my dog while carrying groceries. As I laid on the floor surrounded by smashed eggs, spilled milk, and a bruised knee, my dog stole the bread from the bag and and ran off. FML
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Top comments
MURIKKA 11
"******* son of a bitch. I'll teach him to leave me home alone!"
Dargoria 1
Well, doesn't he have a fancy diet.
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Comments (101)
Dargoria 1
Well, doesn't he have a fancy diet.
Lunaa94 6
Healthy. Brooms contain lots of fibre.
falloutboy97 16
she*
patrickalamo 48
More toys is the key
jezane 9
26- the dog in your picture has had enough toys ...
drewcat21 0
Is it a dog the op owns or a tasmanian devil?
WritingWrongs 8
-1 It could have been worse... When my dog gets bored he eats just a little bit more of my front door.
melted48 1
No, a Honey badger
kristadoodle 8
"mystery you ate old man jenkins"
MURIKKA 11
"******* son of a bitch. I'll teach him to leave me home alone!"
Matt_greener 8
One does not simply eat a broom as payback.
sharksfan48 13
2, the irony in what you jut said is truly amazing
NeonPopRocks 14
Haha, 2! I see what you did there.
bigthreedragon 0
You must not be feeding her well...
jezane 9
Just fed her all the left overs, what more does she need!
chellyX92 8
Or, the dog smelled something it liked in the trash can and wanted it.
Pandacupcakelove 26
We don't know how the OP treats their dog from reading this FML! Pets do strange things...
MormonPornstar 7
Yeah... because the animal has a brain, it has it's own thoughts and actions. I feed my dog regularly ad he still finds it funny to eat the steps to my back porch.
chellyX92 8
51, animals do have brains and do think.
MormonPornstar 7
That's what I ******* said? lol
chellyX92 8
For some odd reason I obvious read that wrong. My apologies.
MormonPornstar 7
All good man :) Have a muffin
Austy34 5
Honestly... That deservs a mop not a broom
CuriousAlien 7
Is your dog on bath salts?
Lunaa94 6
No, in that case he would've ate the neighbour's dog.
Inheritance 10
^or OPs face.
Lunaa94 6
No, that wouldn't be cannibalism.
NeuroticBitch 8
Or maybe she's trying to send a message. ;)
YacL 15
Whenever someone uses the winking face, I always feel like they're trying to make some kind of sexual innuendo... so I really don't know what to think of this comment.
NeonPopRocks 14
Whenever someone uses a winky face, to me they are winking.
darwinism 30
But you still love her OP, don't you? Especially when she came and licked your face after that to get your attention so you see her latest creation. Who can be mad at a dog?
TheOnlyX 11
A cat, Mr. Darwinism.
darwinism 30
35, your arguement is void because a cat has the right to be mad at anyone, anything, and everything whwnever it feels the need. Pray that you never have to feel the wrath of a scorned cat for you will never be the same!
UncleMuscles 5
He ate old man Jenkins!
sallyfastcat 2
Your dog reminds me of the Beethoven movies I used to watch as a kid (:
4gethishit 4
well, the fact that your broom is gone must be a sign you don't have to clean anymore......( I would still clean up the puke, though)