Today, I was working a haunted house. I have a really good spot where I hide and scare people. This really hot guy was walking up, and I jumped out and screamed. He punched me in the face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, l was crouched on the ground in the doorway at a haunted mansion. It's part of my job here to scare the people passing by. A 12 year-old girl walked by, I grabbed her leg, and she kicked me in the face. FML
Today, I went to a "haunted" theme park. Actors had been trying to scare me the whole night. I was waiting by an outdoor heater for my friend when a hand came out of nowhere close to my face. I screamed at the top of my lungs, but it was only some chick wanting to warm her hands by the heater. FML
Today, I was working as a clown (Pennywise) in a haunted maze. A bunch of drunk guys came in and started breaking props. I decided to stay still and follow through with the scare. I ended up getting kicked in a very sensitive area. The security guard just laughed. FML
Today, while on a haunted trail, I accidentally punched a high-schooler in the throat. FML
Today my Assistant Manager decided to pull a prank on me by walking up behind me and screaming my name. I screamed in terror and then swung around and punched him, full force, dead center in the chest, right in front of my supervisor, manager, and several other employees. FML
Today, I started my new job at a haunted house. I figured I'd change clothes when I got home, since my bloody shirt and zombie makeup were blatantly just an outfit. I barely made it 10 minutes before I was pinned to the ground at gunpoint, cuffed, and needing new underwear. FML
Today, I was working at Chuck-E-Cheese. If that isn't enough, I was put in the mouse costume. Due to the disgusting hot smell and atmosphere in the costume, I fainted in front of a birthday party. I awoke to a little boy screaming who then kicked me in the face and ran. FML
Today, I went to a haunted house with my fiancé. A few minutes in, I saw someone following us so I turned and screamed. She ran off and my fiancé explained that she wasn't an actor, just a lady with a pigment disorder. I can never go back there again. FML
Today, I went into a haunted house. Around 30 seconds into the adventure, I couldn't stop screaming at the top of my lungs from all of the scares. Suddenly, the little girl ahead of me, who was all by herself, turned around and told me to "suck it up and grow a pair, loser." FML
Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML
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Top comments
cowinvasion 0
Naturally, my first instinct upon seeing an attractive male is also jumping forth and scaring the shit out of the guy. That'll win his heart!
DameGreyWulf 1
She has a job to do, attraction or not. Also, it could be a great way to meet someone, in a way. "You worked in the haunted house? Haha, you scared me good!" and then it goes from there...
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Comments (105)
NicoletteOxmarie 0
aree you otay ?
The_Pleb 0
Advice to guys and girls on picking each other up inside haunted houses.... Girl scares guy Girl "rawr" Guy (Lies) "Haha, you scared me good!" Girl "thankyou im new here" Guy (Lies) " How can someone as beautiful as yourself work in this place?" Girl "Awwwwwwwwwwwwww i dont know what to say" Guy "Dont say anything" You both have sex WIN +1
GreenHacker 0
I will follow your golden advice this Halloween. Expect updates.
White667 0
Or: Guy and girl live in any place other than America and ignore Halloween completely.
Witchcraft_fml 5
Actually, a lot of countries celebrate Halloween.
Ajjas013 6
Witchcraft is right. Halloween is in more than America.
GreenHacker 0
So FML is really into deleting comments these days. Good to know.
newmanlyman3 8
1 needs to spell
Edokun 0
like england for example, i still trick or treat just for an excuse for free sugary crap xD iys great fun
DameGreyWulf 1
I was going to say the same thing but I got struck by the "you're too quick!" crap. But yeah, I doubt he didn't know he was going to react like that. Generally, people shouldn't go to haunted houses if they're going to be so freaked out. I mean, yeah, you go TO be freaked out, but .... for example, classmates and I went to one, and one of them started crying. She said something about not liking scary things or thinking it wouldn't be so scary... something along those lines. I facepalm'd and was almost going to leave her ass there. Wasn't even that scary. People who will react so dramatically and such just shouldn't do it. They KNOW what they're getting into...
cowinvasion 0
Naturally, my first instinct upon seeing an attractive male is also jumping forth and scaring the shit out of the guy. That'll win his heart!
DameGreyWulf 1
She has a job to do, attraction or not. Also, it could be a great way to meet someone, in a way. "You worked in the haunted house? Haha, you scared me good!" and then it goes from there...
redbluegreen 41
It only works well if you're among the half naked pirate wenches or something.
DameGreyWulf 1
PIRATES: Because you don't see ninjas with WENCHES.
redbluegreen 41
What about a wrench?
DameGreyWulf 1
Those go with plumbers. They have ass cleavage.
redbluegreen 41
Hey, if you can't have cleavage up high, nothing wrong with down below... Wait, yes there is. And who's to say you can't use your ninja skills with a wrench? I've always been somewhat terrified of those things since my childhood days of playing Clue and Bitch, Give Me My Money! Also known as Monopoly.
YourMooseyFate 0
#38 - ILU
picturetaker 0
haha, that sucks. I used to work in one but not in a position where I would be hurt.
Erranty 0
I was working at Realm of Darkness today and my forehead got sliced open when I got pushed into a wall. I know how you feel.
AndelleRae 9
The one in Michigan?
Chopperman_fml 0
Did he apologise? Or did he just walk away?
Reyo 2
#3 I concur Usually, I'll make a gigantic joke out of it. I know it's a parody, so I'll make a game out of making the guys inside laugh. 60% of the time, it works 100% of the time.
AndelleRae 9
Hey, at least you could use that to get him into a date!
th_fml 0
Where is this! Man Australia doesnt have houses like this. Hope u get better.
vd_fml 0
Well, we have heaps at the Royal Show but thats just once a year... and isnt there one in Movie World? Not sure...
allmidnighteyes 11
Arizona? One of the haunted houses out here apparently uses real bugs and animals and whatnot to freak the **** out of you. I think they make you sign a release form that say it's okay for workers to come out of ******* nowhere and grab you.