Today, my new neighbor informed me with great relish that the house I have just bought is haunted because 30 years ago a man shot himself in the kitchen. I'm now paying a huge mortgage on a house I'm frightened to be alone in. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was painting my new house when my neighbor introduced himself. Mid-conversation, he said, "The lady who lived here was nice, but just couldn't get over her husband hanging himself in the garage. Or her son shooting himself in the basement." I'll never sleep again. FML
Today, I just bought my own house after divorcing my wife of 30 years. We'd been childless by her choice, and as I stood in my new living room, looking at the emptiness, I couldn’t help the feeling I just bought a 2-storey, £125,000 coffin that I’ll one day die alone and be buried in. FML
Today, I moved into my new apartment. My neighbor is apparently crazy and thinks I'm trying to 'steal' her husband. She watches me and is super paranoid. I have a two year lease. FML
Today, I moved into my new house. The previous occupants failed to tell me that they'd recently kicked out their crazy crackhead son, who seems to think they've paid me to pretend that they've moved out and that I'm the new owner. He wants back in. FML
Today, the great deal on my new apartment has turned into a nightmare. I keep hearing extremely weird sounds almost every night, and when I tried taking pics of the place today, my camera's face recognition feature kept activating, but only in my bedroom. I'm scared shitless. FML
Today, I found out that I bought a house next door to crazy people. She asked me if I would mind not showering when her husband is at home, because he can hear me and knowing I’m naked on the other side of the wall turns him on, which is a nuisance for her. He’s unemployed. He’s always at home, the creep. FML
Today, less than a day after my cranky downstairs neighbor passed away, I woke up to banging sounds against his apartment ceiling, like the ones he used to make whenever I walked around during the night. I'm shitting myself in fear. FML
Today, I’d been dying to escape my dreary hometown, but had panic attacks at the thought of being on my own, but at last, I'd found a place I could afford. Turns out, the guy I was going to rent from was just arrested for murdering his last tenant. FML
Today, I had to spend a depressingly long time convincing my 29-year-old husband that our house isn't haunted and that the door slammed shut because it was windy outside. I repeat, "29-year-old husband" and "haunted". It's like I'm married to a child. FML
Today, a haunted house opened up next to my restaurant and they've gotten into the habit of scaring me as I'm cleaning up at night. They stay open for another month. FML
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Top comments
letiflor 3
lol just get the house blessed 0:)
orangeduck 6
If food began to dance in the air then I would be scared.
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Comments (114)
jaesm17 5
BOO!
JsTruest 0
bet she shit his/her pants XD
swimchica22 0
so get married!! problem solved
alpinestarsss 0
Suck it up Nancy.
Tjack_atack 0
wow I think your neighbor is just trying to get ride if you
urdirtyolduncle 15
5-- Marriage Judy creates more problems.
mintcar 10
Many states require full disclosure of murder, paranormal activity and any other event that may stigmatize a house before it is sold. Not quite sure about London. The neighbor could've been telling you the truth. FYL, things like that creep me the **** out.
fthislyfe 22
OK so what? in almost every place in this world, someone has died! people have lived on this earth from 2 million years ago! your bed could be on the graves of some of them. but they don't haunt you! grow up
Tektite 14
I would gtfo of there. Or get it blessed. My very first house I bought on my own, a woman had cancer and she hung herself in the garage. No one bought it for years, but you would never think so because it wasn't old looking or "abandoned" looking either. The Realtor didn't tell me about it because I would have been another 5 millionth person not to buy the place. My husband (fiancé at the time) was out of town and I was in that place alone for the first time. I spent one night in that house, called my husband back, had a priest over.. and we ****** moved after that. Try getting the place blessed, we were unfortunate but maybe your neighbor was really just trying to scare you.. Good luck OP
DocBastard 40
Have it blessed? Really? Superstition is an excuse made by people who don't understand how the world works.
whyXD 13
call GHOSTBUSTERS.
redbluegreen 41
Or the Winchesters.
OkayImSorry 0
Are all of you guys serious right now??? If you have half an education you can easily figure out that ghosts don't exist and cannot exist. My god, this is worse than religion.
Mysanitywins 10
Supernatural ftw.
dolphincheddar 10
why are you scared.. it's obviously not "haunted" and if it was I'm pretty sure a reflection of light that looks like a dead guy can't harm you. but that doesn't exist. someebody watches way too many shitty horror films
weewee1 0
maybe you'll be in a movie
a_nutritionist 10
@67 it seems ridiculous to need to inform every possible buyer than 30 years ago someone died in the house. perhaps if it was recent i could understand, i mean if someone was murdered in my house id be worried that it may happen again. who knows the motives of some of the whackjobs out there... but im sure after 30 years youre probably quite safe...unless the ************ just got out of prison >.
nilin95 1
call ghost hunters.
uncleyuggles 0
heck, if I got great relish, I wouldn't mind owning a haunted house!
letiflor 3
lol just get the house blessed 0:)
xlord 27
something strange, in your neighborhood, who you gonna call?
dre_bro11 12
ghost busters?
commietaco 0
mullinex?
puppy23 3
He-Man!!
CryMoreFMLs 15
The Kool-Aid man! OH YEAH!
Xtra_Cheddar 3
that was lol-tasic
idontcare8l 3
get a squirt gun full of holy water, or do it the boring way and find a different house
thefriendlyc 0
sick it up it's fake...
L1v3_L0v3_Lau9h 18
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Ghosts aren't real...
fashionistaGirll 0
Haven't you seen paranormal activity!?
L1v3_L0v3_Lau9h 18
10, Yeah, but if ghosts were real I'm pretty sure they would have found something by now but I have to admit that movie freaked me out..
dre_bro11 12
And you would know how? In that case, footage people capture, personal experiences of thousands/millions of people etc are all fake? I understand that this is what you believe, but there is a lot suggesting that ghosts are real.
L1v3_L0v3_Lau9h 18
I don't know, there is a possibility that they could be real but I just find it hard to believe that things such as this could exsist, but whatever this is just my opinion..
dre_bro11 12
I understand, but from stories I've heard, they exist. But hey, everyone has their own opinion. :)
dre_bro11 12
I understand, but from stories I've heard, they exist. But hey, everyone has their own opinion. :)
colorfullyemo 4
you must not be Italian. lol. but not many people have the gift or as I see it, curse, to be able to see or feel their presence. I think they are real.
justanothagirl 0
the ghosts are gonna go attack all the non-believers.
MerrikBarbarian 9
shun the non believers. shuuuuuuuuuuunnnnn...,
Beebow_fml 5
No, it's called schizophrenia.
ReynshineCutting 10
You may not believe in ghosts, but they believe in you :)
Iamnotmyself 17
Ghosts are most likely not real, and the millions of people saying they saw them have probably just had their minds tricked. Let's do an example. A lady has been in grief in the recent passing of her mom, so her mom is on her thoughts a lot, so if the brain is idle and just thinking, it might pick up movement easier and distort shapes, and it may be a half of second thought she just saw her mom. Let's take another example (one directly off of me) when I was 10 or so I thought I was haunted by a ghost, I'd stay up until 10 under my sheets hoping he wouldn't get me. Eventually I thought I saw him, but what it was when I woke up in the morning, was my sister had tied a sheet to the cat and my brain was so focused on that ghost I merely imagined it having a face and limbs. Not to say I wasn't scared when I saw paranormal activity xD
conman531 23
Theres a lot of people that used to be skeptics. I used to. But not anymore. Go to a local known haunted place. You'll last five minutes.
Youdrongo 0
18: Yeah, because a 1,000,000 people CAN'T be wrong. Just look at those six zeroes! How convincing!
Iamnotmyself 17
Tell me some places, I'm sure I could come up a explanation for all or most of the paranormal things you might encounter there. Just because you can't explain something doesn't make it a ghost.
puppy23 3
78, how do you explain talking to a dead person? When my uncle died I dreamt I was in a room with him and my cousin, he asked me how work was going. My cousin had the exact same dream.
commietaco 0
.......I'm pretty sure dreams and ghosts have no correlation. I dreamt I had sex with Katy perry. so did my friend John. I guess that means we both had sex with Katy perry.
Iamnotmyself 17
to 87, the guy above me showed what I probably would have suggested, anyways did you guys have 100% EXACTLY the same dream, or did you both have a conversation with him in the same room but maybe with different words? hey coincidences are more common than you think, out of six billion people everything's got to happen to someone, and with (possibly) unlimited universes, it had to happen. Let show an example by if you do the math (which I got this off a different person so correct me if I'm wrong) you have a 1/23 chance of having the same birthday as a person.
xaxers 3
You mean the movie that was totally planned in advance, and utterly fabricates pretty much every aspect of the story it was "based" on? Ghosts. Are. Not. Real.
Iamnotmyself 17
Oh btw I got my first 69th comment woopie!
felixshen 18
what the **** does a movie have to do with real life? deluded people these days...
OrgasmicBunnies 9
her insurance company.
dolphincheddar 10
oh no!
Iamnotmyself 17
sidenote believing in ghosts is a *belief* not an opinion.
Dragons_corner 6
they are real but the movie paranormal activity is fake it says so but agian they are real we had to get ours blessed. I never want to deal with one agian even if it helps out around the house. I will never forget.
rdvfyubuyg 1
GHOSTS R REAL!! 5 years ago my grandpa died since he died I had to live in his house with my parents ( I'm only 11) and I was all alone (this was a year ago) in my room watching tv I felt a cool breeze it was summer break the air condition is down stairs in the living room and my door was closed and so were the windows then I felt a hand touch my face and a mans voice whisper in my ear "I love you my sweet Granddaughter don't forget that…" and I saw him appear in front of me I was like "AHHHHHHH!!!!!!! GET AWAY FROM ME!!!! WAIT Papa!?!?!? IS THAT YOU?!?!?! I missed you so!" he said "I miss you too I must go your dad is coming…" and then he vanished into thin air... creepy huh? So ghosts r real
rdvfyubuyg 1
i have that gift… O.O
rdvfyubuyg 1
wtf lol
dre_bro11 12
how bout you all just leave it at what we each think? I think they are real, you may or may not too, but hey, thats what I think.
dre_bro11 12
and @ Alan, I'm not talking about movies like paranormal activities and stuff like that, but stuff like home videos or photos which are developed with things in the background etc... who knows though...
Iamnotmyself 17
157- Do you have mania?
wowfml999 0
Lol, i went to my parents room while i was home alone and i saw a dark figure like a person moving across the wall i took a pic and left, the next day the dark figure wasnt in the picture anymore... so i believe :)
Iamnotmyself 17
-167 Maybe it never existed...
L1v3_L0v3_Lau9h 18
Wow, I really wish I had not commented that ghosts aren't real in the first place, now it's turned into some random argument.. ehh whatever, we all have our own opinions on wether ghosts are real or not so let's just not worry about it and get on with our lives... (:
Iamnotmyself 17
-170 Lol I'm just surprised ur comment is thumb downed!
YayorNay 8
GHOSTS ARE REAL! HAVEN'T YOU GUYS WATCHED GHOST LAB? THAT SHIT IS FO REALZ YO!
Iamnotmyself 17
-183 They put a "for entertainment purposes only" in front of those shows.
jackal181 7
I would be happy that I could get a cheap, not actually haunted house. Someone committing suicide there is kinda odd but nothing else. Places can't be "haunted" or have "ghosts", that's just ridiculous
_PurpleTortugas_ 2
maybe there aren't ghosts but there are spirits....they might not be a full human being in ghost form that 'haunts' you, but I do believe there is a spirit world... and just from a personal opinion.... yeah I'd be kinda freaked out about having my house being haunted, but I think I'd be a bit more freaked out knowing that a man was killed...in my kitchen....
orangeduck 6
If food began to dance in the air then I would be scared.
Pawned71 0
OP USE ANGEL DUST...
babygirlc1 5
shouldn't a haunted house be cheap?
dre_bro11 12
Yer, and the real estate is meant to tell the buyer if a house is haunted.
olii_fml 0
If the real estate agent were to tell the buyer that the house was haunted, then it'd never sell.
Zebidee 9
Yep. In Australia it's now illegal to not disclose a violent past of a house. It came about after one was sold where a mass murder of the family had occurred, and the buyers only found out later.
manbizzle 1
in the US you only have to disclose that to the next buyer. that buyer is then free to sell the property to others without having to disclose a thing.
dre_bro11 12
I probably agree with the law stating that each buyer had to know... it'd be a bit freaky to find out something bad previously happened in the place you call home.
saIty 17
I suggest you build a new bathroom. Never poo in a haunted house's bathroom.
INDYSTRUCTABLE 43
why?
J1hill33 12
you should either call ghost busters ir get your house excersiced (misspelled)
MakaPaka_fml 0
who you gonna call?~
mikaylaraymond 0
Ghost busters!!
satanballs666 5
Scooby Doo
taticalnNinja 5
the number u have dialed has been lame since 1989!
steveakafranxy 7
the mental hospital
madskittlesftw 5
^ put a shirt on beiber
mikaylaraymond 0
it is just a ghost cant really do much !! if iy was a demon leave!!!