Today, a haunted house opened up next to my restaurant and they've gotten into the habit of scaring me as I'm cleaning up at night. They stay open for another month. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, l was crouched on the ground in the doorway at a haunted mansion. It's part of my job here to scare the people passing by. A 12 year-old girl walked by, I grabbed her leg, and she kicked me in the face. FML
Today, I was working a haunted house. I have a really good spot where I hide and scare people. This really hot guy was walking up, and I jumped out and screamed. He punched me in the face. FML
Today, I used a restroom. While doing my thing, the power in my building completely went out. There was another person in the restroom making demonic noises and scratching at my stall. When the power came back on, he was gone. I think I'm being haunted. FML
Today, my new neighbor informed me with great relish that the house I have just bought is haunted because 30 years ago a man shot himself in the kitchen. I'm now paying a huge mortgage on a house I'm frightened to be alone in. FML
Today, I went to a "haunted" theme park. Actors had been trying to scare me the whole night. I was waiting by an outdoor heater for my friend when a hand came out of nowhere close to my face. I screamed at the top of my lungs, but it was only some chick wanting to warm her hands by the heater. FML
Today, after months of peace and quiet since January, a new family moved into the apartment below me ten minutes before I was about to go to sleep. They've been here for 30 minutes and already they're stomping and banging doors all over the place. FML
Today, it's been three days since I started working 12-hour night shifts. My neighbors have now decided to renovate their house. They're focusing on the rooms sharing my wall. FML
Today, the great deal on my new apartment has turned into a nightmare. I keep hearing extremely weird sounds almost every night, and when I tried taking pics of the place today, my camera's face recognition feature kept activating, but only in my bedroom. I'm scared shitless. FML
Today, my supervisor locked me in the women's bathroom as I was cleaning it. I heard the owner scolding him, so I waited for the door to open, thinking he got in trouble. It wasn't until I heard the front gate locking that I realized I'm staying the night in the bathroom. FML
Today, I came home to a noise complaint letter taped to my apartment door. I haven't been home in over a month. FML
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Top comments
MrsPegg 45
I personally find that awesome! People pay good money for a good scare and you're getting it for free! If it is at all possible, maybe you can get them back(you may as well make the best of it)?
mikepzz 27
make them pasta on the house. use lots and lots of xlax. lock your bathrooms :)
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Comments (96)
LaPush_ 7
Sounds awesome! Get even and scare them back!
sougstad 7
Sounds like someone needs to grow a pair of balls. Quite ironic by your username, when have you ever seen a scared wolf????
emilyjgraham 34
it's not a case of growing balls, unexpected things happen a lot and a lot of people jump cus of them! it's like horror films, you're expecting something to happen but you still jump when it happens!
leadawg75 12
Exactly Emily!
bbergeron 0
The Three Little Pigs.
Naarly 6
Well at least you won't be afraid when Jason Vorhees ACTUALLY tries to kill you.
Dixbfloppin 11
Or even Freddy Krueger. He lives off of his victims' fear and can't do anything without it.
Enslaved 38
Look on the bright side. . . At least you get all the thrills without having to pay for that haunted house. ***I went to Halloween Horror Nights this week and I spent a ton of money! :P
melij99 5
Find out what car they drive first. Then pop open the lock. Lay down in the back seat until they get in and begin driving home. When the time is right, scare the **** out of him/her. Then laugh uncontrollably.
sallyfastcat 2
...while they crash the car, and his & your life is ended because of a funny, but sick joke. Yeah, no. Your suggestion could end very badly :/
melij99 5
Ok, OP, make sure you wear a helmet during all of this.
someguy314159265 15
Better idea: Remain in the car until they park it somewhere and get out, silently follow them out, and then scare them when the time is right.
MsConfusedd 27
You should scare them one day, they'll never expect it!
sallyfastcat 2
You just made my day. Thank you.
texanplayer 1
Stfu it's bringing you business isn't it?
traveler_ghost 12
Dress up as the sauce monster. Mat you have mercy on their tastebuds
ambear26 14
Sounds awesome ! I paid $70 to go to halloween horror nights and you wanna complain about paying nothing ?