Today, a guest of the private beach club I work at asked if I could do something about the water temperature in the ocean. I laughed, thinking it was a joke. She was serious and complained to my boss, saying I was absolutely no help. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while at work, I got a complaint from a guest. She complained that after spending two hours to get her hair done for a wedding, she got drenched with water from a child. I work at a WATER PARK. Thank you for calling me a pathetic asshat for no reason in front of other guests. FML
Today, while I was at the beach I decided to go into the ocean even though the waves looked rough. While I was in the water, I got caught by the riptide and needed to be saved. The reason I was at the beach? I'm a lifeguard. Now all my co-workers won't stop laughing at me. FML
Today, I went downstairs to complain to my landlady that there was no water when I was trying to wash my hair. To which she replied, "No, of course there is water, it's just all going into my swimming pool." FML
Today, I was at the pool, casually flirting with one of the lifeguards. He said that he would gladly give me CPR, in the event that I needed it. I laughed and thanked him, stating that it was a sweet idea, even though I wouldn't be needing assistance. I then choked on my bottled water. FML
Today, as a supervisor at a water park, several clients came up to me and complained about a topless girl in our wave pool. I found the girl, called her out, and politely told her that she was not allowed in the pool without a top. "She" was a fat 15 year-old boy. FML
Today, while taking part in a lifeguarding exercise, I was supposed to "drown" to get another guard to save me. After all was done, my boss called me into his office and screamed at me for "drowning the wrong way," and threatening our reputation. FML
Today, I went to the university pool. There was this cute lifeguard there, and every time I got out of the water I saw her looking at me, so I walked up to her and asked if everything was OK. She told me she thought I was going to drown. FML
Today, my friend thought it would be funny to post a sign at the deep end of the public swimming pool, saying, "This end topless only." When someone complained, he said that I did it, and I got banned from the pool for life. And fired, too - I was the lifeguard. FML
Today, I nearly drowned. I was at a wave pool for the first time and stupidly swam out to the deep end. When the waves turned on, I discovered I can't swim in rough water. Despite my yelling, "Help!" and flailing around, the lifeguard paid me no attention. My friend had to save me. FML
Today, I work cleaning houses and a customer submitted a complaint about me to my boss, because he didn’t expect me to use his water from his taps, running up his water bill, which he saw as unfair. What was I supposed to do, bring a water tank with me on my back? Prick. FML
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Top comments
MyCommentsSuck 21
Tell her you'll check the global thermostat, the hippies keep complaining about global warming and turning it back down.
qtbabe127 22
Yes, they do exist. And yes, they do reproduce.
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Comments (79)
starsfan326 12
Let me guess she was white never went to college and married into the money lol. Stupid ass cake eaters
onlymytwocents 9
This is why being overly nice and accommodating to customers/clients is a bad thing. If you would have mocked this woman to her face about her moronic question. She would have been too embarrassed to complain about it. Next time she is with a group of friends politely walk up to her and apologize "I'm sorry, I wasn't able to adjust the temp of the ocean for you, my superior has written me up, if you need anything else...sun turned down, sand easier to walk through, Please let me know what miracles I can preform for you". She'll be mortified and never come back
knoxxx 22
OP, what you REALLY should have said was, "Absolutely, and which hotel employee would you like to follow you around and pee next to you while you swim?"
skyeyez9 25
The woman is probably a complete retard, but married to a rich and smart business man.
EvilLittleMan 23
Her head has been slammed one to many times into the headboard by her sugar daddy.
daniel7727 1
Loser
RedPillSucks 33
When someone asks a plainly stupid request, you should lean close so you can only be heard with a whisper and say... "My management says I'm not suppose to do this, but you seem so nice, that for $200 cash, I'll do it just for you. But don't tell anyone, otherwise everyone will want to change the temperature, and I could lose my job." You are now $200 richer. You're welcome.
serenity_rose 2
OP, I'm so sorry you had to put up with that, but that is hilarious! How did your boss react?
Omniprism 15
What an idiot. I can't believe people like that exist. I hope she doesn't procreate.
thefattest 1
That's nothing I work at a hotel in a valley that's surrounded by huge mountains and I once had a guest ask me if the mountains were real. So yes, faith in humanity lost