Today, a guest of the private beach club I work at asked if I could do something about the water temperature in the ocean. I laughed, thinking it was a joke. She was serious and complained to my boss, saying I was absolutely no help. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while at work, I got a complaint from a guest. She complained that after spending two hours to get her hair done for a wedding, she got drenched with water from a child. I work at a WATER PARK. Thank you for calling me a pathetic asshat for no reason in front of other guests. FML
Today, while I was at the beach I decided to go into the ocean even though the waves looked rough. While I was in the water, I got caught by the riptide and needed to be saved. The reason I was at the beach? I'm a lifeguard. Now all my co-workers won't stop laughing at me. FML
Today, I went downstairs to complain to my landlady that there was no water when I was trying to wash my hair. To which she replied, "No, of course there is water, it's just all going into my swimming pool." FML
Today, I was at the pool, casually flirting with one of the lifeguards. He said that he would gladly give me CPR, in the event that I needed it. I laughed and thanked him, stating that it was a sweet idea, even though I wouldn't be needing assistance. I then choked on my bottled water. FML
Today, as a supervisor at a water park, several clients came up to me and complained about a topless girl in our wave pool. I found the girl, called her out, and politely told her that she was not allowed in the pool without a top. "She" was a fat 15 year-old boy. FML
Today, while taking part in a lifeguarding exercise, I was supposed to "drown" to get another guard to save me. After all was done, my boss called me into his office and screamed at me for "drowning the wrong way," and threatening our reputation. FML
Today, I went to the university pool. There was this cute lifeguard there, and every time I got out of the water I saw her looking at me, so I walked up to her and asked if everything was OK. She told me she thought I was going to drown. FML
Today, my friend thought it would be funny to post a sign at the deep end of the public swimming pool, saying, "This end topless only." When someone complained, he said that I did it, and I got banned from the pool for life. And fired, too - I was the lifeguard. FML
Today, I nearly drowned. I was at a wave pool for the first time and stupidly swam out to the deep end. When the waves turned on, I discovered I can't swim in rough water. Despite my yelling, "Help!" and flailing around, the lifeguard paid me no attention. My friend had to save me. FML
Today, I work cleaning houses and a customer submitted a complaint about me to my boss, because he didn’t expect me to use his water from his taps, running up his water bill, which he saw as unfair. What was I supposed to do, bring a water tank with me on my back? Prick. FML
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Top comments
MyCommentsSuck 21
Tell her you'll check the global thermostat, the hippies keep complaining about global warming and turning it back down.
qtbabe127 22
Yes, they do exist. And yes, they do reproduce.
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Comments (79)
LennyComa 39
Should of said "Yeah no problem while I'm at it would like me to turn the Sun down a bit since the dimmer switch is right next to the Ocean thermostat controls." and trotted off Stupid Rich Lady will (probably) think you have done it and you don't have to deal with a boss that is also (probably) think that this woman is thicker than hardened Pigshit.
wafflefriez91 17
Rich bitches are not always the sharpest tools in the shed. I could never serve or work for rich people.
Goldenberry_fml 14
Well most rich people are rich because they are smart enough to make more money than others so I wouldn't say they're stupid... Except for maybe Paris Hilton. She's probably the bluntest tool in the shed.
moimoimoi125_fml 11
Inheritance, marriage, lottery... Only self made persons :)
calipilot227 16
Can't buy intelligence...
DFresh503 8
Really? Why am I wasting my money on college? Stupid me... #dumbforlifeyo
Goldenberry_fml 14
Right, but you still can't judge a person just because they're rich.
worldclassrager 41
That's called the sun...sorry I can't control the weather...maybe a salt water pool would be better for her...
capnbzarr 43
Hey, while you're at it, can I get some snow over here already? You're supposed to anticipate your guests' needs for crying out loud!
Powerfull_fml 8
Go to the sea, pull down your pants, pee in it, and tell her to check if the temperature is better now...
aimeegoldberg 22
Thats what i was gonna say.. I like the way you think ;)
redwrath 16
Asking you to change water temperature in the ocean? Bitches be stupid
Wiz_Of_Oz 17
Should have told her to buy the most polluting coal fired power stations in teh world and turned em on full blast. She might have a noticeable result in a few decades.
Sal_G_63 5
The stupid...IT BURNS!!
mr_jack_meoff 5
The hope for humanity diminishes each day.
esperanza6 8
It just shows how stupid people can be.. Sorry you had to deal with an idiot like that.