Today, my friend thought it would be funny to post a sign at the deep end of the public swimming pool, saying, "This end topless only." When someone complained, he said that I did it, and I got banned from the pool for life. And fired, too - I was the lifeguard. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML
Today, I was fired because a patron complained that she didn't like the way I kept staring at her kids. I was a lifeguard. FML
Today, a couple yelled at me and reported me to the homeowner association for "watching them make out" at the pool. I'm the lifeguard. FML
Today, someone at my workplace yelled at me and filed a complaint for staring at them too often. I'm a lifeguard. FML
Today, as a supervisor at a water park, several clients came up to me and complained about a topless girl in our wave pool. I found the girl, called her out, and politely told her that she was not allowed in the pool without a top. "She" was a fat 15 year-old boy. FML
Today, I was at the gym when my dad thought it would be funny to push me into the ladies' changing room. Over a dozen naked women didn’t think it was funny. I was slapped twice, police were called, I’m now banned from my favourite gym for life, and even my wife is giving me dirty looks. FML
Today, while taking part in a lifeguarding exercise, I was supposed to "drown" to get another guard to save me. After all was done, my boss called me into his office and screamed at me for "drowning the wrong way," and threatening our reputation. FML
Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML
Today, a 300 lb woman caused a huge scene at the public pool where I work. She accused me of fatshaming and swore to sue me for discrimination. I asked her to cover up, as her 3x too small string bikini went against the pool’s dress code. I don’t make the rules, I just have to enforce them. FML
Today, I went skinny dipping with my friends. A security man drove up the dock we were on with his bike. After informing us that the dock was closed, and noticing all of our swimsuits on the dock, he refused to move his flashlight beam from us in the water. FML
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Top comments
cuz803 46
Please beat that friends ass and find a better high paying job
Laura Taylor 2
Well I'd be letting my "friend" know that he can start paying my bills until I find another job. What a twat
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Comments (5)
cuz803 46
Please beat that friends ass and find a better high paying job
Laura Taylor 2
Well I'd be letting my "friend" know that he can start paying my bills until I find another job. What a twat
RichardPencil 32
Did you try the classic "It wasn't me" defense? Hire a lawyer to try that gambit on your behalf and maybe sue for wrongful termination. If you've been enjoying looking at the topless women for a few weeks, then all bets are off and I hope it was worth it.
xxcutekatxx2 13
Should be ex-friend or co-worker as that's not what friends do. Why didn't you tell them it was your "friend" that did it? If they have cameras or know you both they should be able to work out who it was.
Chazzster 32
If you noticed the sign and did nothing about it despite being the lifeguard YDI. If you did not know about it then FYL.