Today, while I was at the beach I decided to go into the ocean even though the waves looked rough. While I was in the water, I got caught by the riptide and needed to be saved. The reason I was at the beach? I'm a lifeguard. Now all my co-workers won't stop laughing at me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to the beach with friends. While splashing around in the ocean and waving to my friends who were sitting on the sand, I got caught in a strong current and had to be rescued by a lifeguard. They gave me a wristband that said, "Needs Adult Supervision". FML
Today, I nearly drowned. I was at a wave pool for the first time and stupidly swam out to the deep end. When the waves turned on, I discovered I can't swim in rough water. Despite my yelling, "Help!" and flailing around, the lifeguard paid me no attention. My friend had to save me. FML
Today, while taking part in a lifeguarding exercise, I was supposed to "drown" to get another guard to save me. After all was done, my boss called me into his office and screamed at me for "drowning the wrong way," and threatening our reputation. FML
Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML
Today, while at work I tripped and fell in the pool while moving a waste basket. I nearly drowned and had to be saved. I don't know which is worse the fact that I nearly drowned or the fact that I'm a lifeguard. FML
Today, I was at my lifeguarding exam. Everything was going well until I went to 'save' someone and slipped and bellyflopped into the pool. I broke my toe, and the person I was supposed to save ended up saving me instead. FML
Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML
Today, I decided to go swimming. I knew my technique would be off because I haven't swam since high school. It was when I made it only halfway across the pool that the lifeguard decided to jump in and save me. I wasn't drowning or struggling. FML
Today, it was an extremely hot day so I hit up the beach for a swim. Just as I entered the water, the first wave approached me. I tried to jump it and lost my footing, managing to dislocate my hip. I had to be dragged from the water by the lifeguards. FML
Today, I went to the university pool. There was this cute lifeguard there, and every time I got out of the water I saw her looking at me, so I walked up to her and asked if everything was OK. She told me she thought I was going to drown. FML
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Top comments
reapfml 0
are you sure you're qualified?
bettyboo_x 0
change of career?
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Comments (75)
Philipthecup 0
You FAIL
Decipher 0
I second that.
well_this_sucks 0
third that
MrKazekage 0
FAIL
honeymelon 0
What a f*cking liar....there's no such thing as a riptide any lifeguard would know they're called rip currents.plus there's no way you would get hired as a lifeguard if you couldn't get out of a rip
NHS_ASM 0
Up North, we call them ripe tides, they're called that on all the warnings too
drano 0
How can you tell when they're ripe?
Gahhreg 0
well it depends on where you live because they're called both... and plus maybe OP didnt have enough room for rip current
Dizzygrl08 4
Ooh, sorry OP, but hun you had that coming. Just laugh it off, I am! lol
qwertyuiopdead 0
wtf 38 rip and riptide is the same thing dumbass
yeti09 0
hahahhaha
Ret_fml 0
I agree. I mean, it's basic knowledge that he's missing out on. I've never been to any kind of training for that kind of thing because I only like swimming on a casual level, but everyone should know that you can still get seriously injured in rough water even if you're an excellent swimmer. It's usually cold, and the water splashing against you so aggressively makes it hard to breath and concentrate. I definately pity anyone who happens to get into any trouble with him on duty, he can't handle himself, why should he be responsible for trying to save others' lives?
Ret_fml 0
Somehow the comment I was replying to disappeared.
gregzav 0
nobody really cares about your opinion, you are wasting your time.
bettyboo_x 0
change of career?
Amysbodybetrayal 0
I agree. Wouldn't a lifeguard know the basic safety rules for getting out of a riptide? Swim parallel to the shore, try keeping your feet on the ocean floor if possible, all that stuff. I'm pretty sure I learned how to do all that stuff in elementary school.
turbosexophonic 0
you learned how to get out of a riptide in elementary? I'm finishing high school and I didn't even know what a riptide was until now
LemonFairy 0
Same turbo. (Well, I know what a riptide is, but knew nothing about safety near it.) But I live in the midwest so... :P
Amysbodybetrayal 0
Maybe so, but when I was in elementary school I lived in California not too far from the coast. My family went to the beach a lot, and my parents taught me things like that so that I could go out in the water without them. My point was though that he was a lifeguard, and he didn't know how to get out of a riptide? That's something that can happen in his job, I'm just surprised that it wouldn't appear somewhere in his training.
notsmalltown 8
You've obviously not taken a course on basic water safety. Something which is useful, considering we're not on the moon.
ohFawkYou 0
LOL. that sucks
goodtimesx2 0
you suck at your job, fun
Ecchi_fml 0
Haah.
aznboytellem 0
Then you should laugh at them. It'll only make it even.
fmh123 0
IROny
JarJarBinks_fml 0
Just when you thought you had something going for you...
Daaniellee1234 8
ahahaha.
jackie195 5
Funny