Today, a guest of the private beach club I work at asked if I could do something about the water temperature in the ocean. I laughed, thinking it was a joke. She was serious and complained to my boss, saying I was absolutely no help. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while at work, I got a complaint from a guest. She complained that after spending two hours to get her hair done for a wedding, she got drenched with water from a child. I work at a WATER PARK. Thank you for calling me a pathetic asshat for no reason in front of other guests. FML
Today, while I was at the beach I decided to go into the ocean even though the waves looked rough. While I was in the water, I got caught by the riptide and needed to be saved. The reason I was at the beach? I'm a lifeguard. Now all my co-workers won't stop laughing at me. FML
Today, I went downstairs to complain to my landlady that there was no water when I was trying to wash my hair. To which she replied, "No, of course there is water, it's just all going into my swimming pool." FML
Today, I was at the pool, casually flirting with one of the lifeguards. He said that he would gladly give me CPR, in the event that I needed it. I laughed and thanked him, stating that it was a sweet idea, even though I wouldn't be needing assistance. I then choked on my bottled water. FML
Today, as a supervisor at a water park, several clients came up to me and complained about a topless girl in our wave pool. I found the girl, called her out, and politely told her that she was not allowed in the pool without a top. "She" was a fat 15 year-old boy. FML
Today, while taking part in a lifeguarding exercise, I was supposed to "drown" to get another guard to save me. After all was done, my boss called me into his office and screamed at me for "drowning the wrong way," and threatening our reputation. FML
Today, I went to the university pool. There was this cute lifeguard there, and every time I got out of the water I saw her looking at me, so I walked up to her and asked if everything was OK. She told me she thought I was going to drown. FML
Today, my friend thought it would be funny to post a sign at the deep end of the public swimming pool, saying, "This end topless only." When someone complained, he said that I did it, and I got banned from the pool for life. And fired, too - I was the lifeguard. FML
Today, I nearly drowned. I was at a wave pool for the first time and stupidly swam out to the deep end. When the waves turned on, I discovered I can't swim in rough water. Despite my yelling, "Help!" and flailing around, the lifeguard paid me no attention. My friend had to save me. FML
Today, I work cleaning houses and a customer submitted a complaint about me to my boss, because he didn’t expect me to use his water from his taps, running up his water bill, which he saw as unfair. What was I supposed to do, bring a water tank with me on my back? Prick. FML
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Top comments
MyCommentsSuck 21
Tell her you'll check the global thermostat, the hippies keep complaining about global warming and turning it back down.
qtbabe127 22
Yes, they do exist. And yes, they do reproduce.
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Comments (79)
DFresh503 8
Clearly, OP, you could've lassoed the sun and brought it a few thousand miles closer so the ocean would be that perfect temperature. Where are your customer service skills at???
ViviMage 40
You really should explain you can't control that. I couldn't control the AC of my department store. Oh, it works. Management won't run it unless we are having he district team over. We don't seem to care about the elderly getting heat stoke in 95F+ in the store. I could not get the AC on, but I at least apologized that it wasn't in my control.
DarthVader77 9
You should have peed in font of her in the ocean and then say: this square metre is tad bit warner, but hurry up
merik225 14
Maybe if the woman's ass wasn't so frigid, that water would have been a little warmer.
asherm 15
"Sure, let me go get the electric heater and you can take it in the water with you".
robc32ca 4
Sorry. Sounds like the same idiot that was yelling at the gradener in Cuba to change the flag to green so she could go out on a watercraft. I was thinking just do it!
ballpython 15
you should have responded with "the sharks require colder temperatures during mating season. I am sorry but I cannot change it at the current time".
jazzymiranda 8
Wow, just, wow
lotusenta 14
I never cease to be amazed at the levels of stupidity that humans show. And just when I thought purple couldn't get any more stupid, stuff like this happens.
burtronics 3
How are you that dumb??!!