Today, I went in for an interview. While I was waiting to be called, I used the restroom. When I stood up to wipe, I slipped on the floor and fell ass first into the unflushed toilet. I was found an hour later, covered in my own shit and too injured to move. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was suffering from some gastric distress. While on my way to a job interview, I slipped on some concrete that was wet due to a recent slight rain shower. I didn't fall. I DID shit my pants though. I walked back home slowly in shame to clean up the mess. I didn't make it to the interview. FML
Today, my 3-year-old came to me very excited because he had gone to the bathroom by himself for the first time. What he did not tell me was that he had shit on the floor, and when I went into the bathroom to check, I slipped on a turd and knocked myself out on the sink. FML
Today, I had to shit worse than I thought possible at work. I left my desk and hurried towards the bathroom, dropping trou as soon as the door closed. I then tripped over my pant leg, hit my head on the toilet, and came to some minutes later with my ass spewing diarrhea like a volcano. FML
Today, I got home from working 14 hours straight, went to take a dump, and fell asleep on the toilet. I woke up later on the floor, covered in shit and piss, with my alarm going off, an hour before I was due back at work. FML
Today, I shat myself during a job interview. FML
Today, after dealing with tons of drama and working a 14 hour shift, I took a shower. When I stepped out, a weak spot in the floor gave way. While falling through the floor I grabbed the toilet tank lid, which fell into the tank and broke it. Now my leg hurts and the bathroom's flooded. FML
Today, while waiting for my job interview to start, I tried to slip out a silent fart. It ended with shit running down my leg. FML
Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for a moment, stunned, still pooping. FML
Today, at work, I used my foot to flush the toilet, lost my balance, and ended up catching myself with my foot in the toilet. FML
Today, during an emergency bathroom visit, I finally broke the toilet seat my fiance had nagged me for months to replace. The broken seat sent me sprawling to the floor. I was still shitting. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Well, you're not getting a job offer with such a shitty attitude. The good news is with your personal injury settlement, you and your children will never need to work again!
brenniman 10
(Lmfao) If all of that is not a sign that that job is not for you, I don't know what is.
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Comments (7)
Chazzster 32
OP - That’s dreadful! Flush first, then get up.
RichardPencil 32
Well, you're not getting a job offer with such a shitty attitude. The good news is with your personal injury settlement, you and your children will never need to work again!
Marcella1016 32
Did you not call for help? Did you not have a phone? Seems weird it took an hour for you to be found. Unless you knocked yourself out and were out cold for awhile. In that case, holy shit what a fall. But I’m genuinely curious for more details. Because if you weren’t out cold, I just can’t imagine waiting there for an hour, you not calling for help, and no one else coming to the bathroom for that long.
RichardPencil 32
Dear OP, Please do not post the details here. PM Marcella to satisfy her curiosity. I don not want to know and I think I speak for many. I know what an Alaska Pipeline is and more knowledge in that area is undesirable. Thank you.
JasonThorn 23
And after all the crappy comments you troll with, here I thought you could handle being on the receiving end. Learn something new every day.
brenniman 10
(Lmfao) If all of that is not a sign that that job is not for you, I don't know what is.
BurnInDemonFire 39
This is why you should leave the stunts to the pros.
Jaymail 19
I’m just curious. Did you get the job (LOL)?
randybryant799 21
I'm confused. How could you fall into the toilet. Was the seat up?