Today, I woke myself up by farting in my sleep, only to realize that the guy I'd brought home from the bar was still next to me. He was awake. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML
Today, I farted myself awake, in a car full of my boyfriend's family. FML
Today, I fell asleep at a party. I farted so loud that I woke myself up. Everyone heard. FML
Today, I woke up at 7am next to the man I swore I'd never get intimate with again. After trying to get back to sleep despite my shame and disgust, he ripped the loudest fart ever. FML
Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML
Today, I was woken up at 4 in the morning by my boyfriend farting on my leg and giggling in his sleep. For the third time. FML
Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend watching me sleep. I asked him if he was staring at me because he was in love. He replied that it was because my farting wouldn't let him sleep. FML
Today, while we were sleeping, my girlfriend and I rolled to opposite sides of the bed. When I woke up, I moved closer and wrapped my arm around her. Her response was to fart in her sleep, resulting in a smell so noxious that I had no choice but to roll back to the other side. FML
Today, in my sleep I let out a couple of farts. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal, but on this night I had slept in my mom's room. She came to check in on me and violently woke me up because she thought I pooped in the bed. Now my entire family knows I fart in my sleep. FML
Today, I farted so loudly in my sleep that it woke myself, my husband, and our cat. The cat let me know he was startled by clawing and biting the perceived threat, my bum. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Hopefully, he wrecked your asshole during your hook-up so he'll understand if it can't hold in some excess gas.
KhalisKat 6
Does nobody understand that the fart happened while asleep? How many people have that level of self-control that they can stop themselves doing things while sleeping? Truly, you people here are super-human. Kudos!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (5)
ThatOneLonelyAsian 31
wow he's a keeper if he didn't leave after you farted
RichardPencil 32
Hopefully, he wrecked your asshole during your hook-up so he'll understand if it can't hold in some excess gas.
KhalisKat 6
Does nobody understand that the fart happened while asleep? How many people have that level of self-control that they can stop themselves doing things while sleeping? Truly, you people here are super-human. Kudos!
Inkoseh 33
Did you know there have been women who broke up with their boyfriends because the BF was sleep talking in their sleep and said another girls name? And that other girl was just their mom/sister? Humans are stupid either way!
DogStew 20
That’s hot! Mostly because it’s a funny story that would never het old.