Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to go down on me with chewing gum in her mouth. I spent the next hour and a half getting Orbit out of my pubes. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was laying in bed making out with a girl. After trying to figure out for a while why she was spending so much time on my neck it finally hit me. She was frantically and secretly trying to remove the gum she got stuck in my hair. She failed. FML
Today, to show that he really wanted me to shave myself, my boyfriend pretended to go down on me, but instead of following through, he stuck a wad of gum in my pubic hair and got back up. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. In an attempt to be romantic, I tried taking her panties off with my teeth. I got a mouthful of pubes stuck in my braces. FML
Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML
Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML
Today, I was masturbating while chewing gum. Halfway into the session, the gum flew down my throat, causing me to violently choke. My mom had to rush in and help me while I still had my pants around my ankles. FML
Today, instead of pushing me away or simply stopping for a minute, my girlfriend kept kissing me as she was trying to get phlegm out of her throat. The slimy goo ended up in the back of my mouth. I can still taste it. FML
Today, I was in the cinema making out with my girlfriend. I asked her if she could stop trying to pass me her gum because it was kinda gross. She replied, "It's not gum, I just have bronchitis." FML
Today, while in the hot tub with my friends, my gum fell out of my mouth and I had no idea where it went. Later that night I realized it had fallen down my swimsuit and had become adhered to my pubic hairs which then stuck to my underwear. FML
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Top comments
pdp_fml 21
Why not try shaving down there? Girls like it because they don't have to smell your nasty sweat.
H_Brazell09 0
Maybe this is a sign to start shaving.
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Comments (231)
yourdevilmaybeme 0
Shave that shit dumbass
riptor911 10
Or u could like shave it off, surprising she went down on u without it shaved
Timithius 0
I can't seem to feel sorry for you for so many reasons. In the future, might I suggest.... A shave?
phantumgrey 6
And that's why we shave off our pubes
Epjay 4
Dirty Mouth? Clean it up with Orbit!! But I think you should chew the gum after dirty activity not during
skiittles2012 4
Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. She just wanted you to feel the minty coolness on your penis, next time tell her to use a mint >.
SouthrnGal 3
She plotted, that was totally done on purpose, maybe she was saying you need to shower more often
AgentSmith79 9
Wouldn't have happened if you weren't such a Neanderthal. Clean shaven is the way to go, Sasquatch.
yoyodog27 5
Dirty pubes? Clean them, with orbit
zebralover23 14
Sounds painful