Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to go down on me with chewing gum in her mouth. I spent the next hour and a half getting Orbit out of my pubes. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was laying in bed making out with a girl. After trying to figure out for a while why she was spending so much time on my neck it finally hit me. She was frantically and secretly trying to remove the gum she got stuck in my hair. She failed. FML
Today, to show that he really wanted me to shave myself, my boyfriend pretended to go down on me, but instead of following through, he stuck a wad of gum in my pubic hair and got back up. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. In an attempt to be romantic, I tried taking her panties off with my teeth. I got a mouthful of pubes stuck in my braces. FML
Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML
Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML
Today, I was masturbating while chewing gum. Halfway into the session, the gum flew down my throat, causing me to violently choke. My mom had to rush in and help me while I still had my pants around my ankles. FML
Today, instead of pushing me away or simply stopping for a minute, my girlfriend kept kissing me as she was trying to get phlegm out of her throat. The slimy goo ended up in the back of my mouth. I can still taste it. FML
Today, I was in the cinema making out with my girlfriend. I asked her if she could stop trying to pass me her gum because it was kinda gross. She replied, "It's not gum, I just have bronchitis." FML
Today, while in the hot tub with my friends, my gum fell out of my mouth and I had no idea where it went. Later that night I realized it had fallen down my swimsuit and had become adhered to my pubic hairs which then stuck to my underwear. FML
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Top comments
pdp_fml 21
Why not try shaving down there? Girls like it because they don't have to smell your nasty sweat.
H_Brazell09 0
Maybe this is a sign to start shaving.
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Comments (231)
dyn112248 0
SHAVE
xgetxbentx 13
Now you know why personal grooming is important. Even without a gag reflex, your pubes should NOT have been long enough to get in her mouth. Seriously, at least trim it really short...
hayyyyleyyyybaby_fml 14
he could be *that* small....:/
lovelylaurie021 3
That's why people shave.
Crazberry 5
Maybe she thought it would stop her breath from smelling like penis...? Or she's just ditzy. Think of it this way though, maybe she was so eager to go down on you she forgot about the gum. (and completely ignored the fact that you didn't shave...)
oldirtybasterdSE 0
Well I know it says when you have a dirty mouth you should clean it up with orbits. Not sure about that though
damnu 3
You deserved it for having pubic hair
xStaciexLynnx 15
Everyone HAS pubic hair. It's his fault for not taking care of it.
damnu 3
Come on, you know what I meant
winterlies 8
That really must suck. Also... people, come on, I'm tired of this 'SHAVE YOUR PUBES' trend going on. I find it bloody unattractive for people to look prepubescent, thanks, and so do probably the people who keep their hair.
l0v3p4in 7
"Oh, look! Sasquatch is on the loose in all his natural, overgrown hairy glory!" It's not about shaving them completely off per se, but keeping the landscape neat. Nobody likes to have to bring a sickle with them to a suck on a diddlestick.
Milf6969 1
Don't have to shave it all off. Just short enough so no one has to floss with pubic hair while going down.
Eskimo_Lover 0
This just made my whole life xP
skater009 0
Dirty mouth? ;) stick it on pubes and chew a new piece xD
perdix 31
Am I the only one scared shitless by the idea of her chewing during a ********? I'm getting this Bride of Chucky image and I feel like I want to wear a cup all day. Anyone?
RedPillSucks 33
Maybe she didn't want to swallow. She was going to blow a bubble as he came and catch all the spunk in it...