Today, I was stalking my Bumble match’s Instagram feed before I said hello. I went to tap for sound on a video of him getting his backside tattooed but accidentally double-tapped and liked the video. Sound turned on and I realized I liked a video of him farting. Couldn’t say hello after that. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I liked one of my crush’s Instagram post from 2012 while stalking his profile. Despite me realising my mistake and un-liking the post, he immediately followed me back, and sent me a DM saying, “Wow, that’s some deep digging.” I’m now referred to as his "creepy stalker archaeologist of Instagram." FML
Today, I was stalking a popular girl from my high school's account and my phone went bonkers. It looks like I liked and disliked the same video of hers over and over. I disabled my Instagram account. FML
Today, I stupidly liked a post on my ex's social media account from three years ago. They then texted me immediately to ask why I was stalking them. FML
Today, I accidentally liked a photo from 2013 while stalking an ex’s Instagram. Not only did she see it, but I also followed their entire family’s pages in a panicked attempt to cover up. It didn’t work. FML
Today, I accidentally followed and inboxed my crush from my dog’s Instagram account. FML
Today, I was showing the Instagram of my crush to my cousin. He double-tapped the picture, thinking it would zoom it in. It was posted 5 months ago. FML
Today, I fucked up by clicking on my ex's new partner's stories while deep-diving into their Instagram. Now they know I'm still lurking in the shadows of their social media because they can see who viewed their stories, and I can feel the judgment radiating through the screen. FML
Today, I was on Skype with the guy I like. After a while of being on Facebook I forgot I was on webcam to him and started picking my nose. He ended the call. FML
Today, I met my Bumble date. I was so excited because it’s my first date in 6 years. We exchanged hellos and he said he needed to use the restroom. Turns out he left. When I messaged him to ask what happened, he told me, “I agreed to go on a date with the hot girl in the photos, not a contestant from 'My 600lb Life'.” FML
Today, while on Grindr, I saw that this guy I'm friends with and have liked for a while now had messaged me. I got all excited, just for it to be a picture of him flipping me off. FML
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Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 39
Karma for stalking his Instagram profile, but a let-off for avoiding hooking up with a guy who films his farts, then posts them to his social media.
JulietMarie 30
Sounds like it’s for the best! Wouldn’t want to hook up with a guy who records and posts him farting online. So gross!!
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Comments (6)
BurnInDemonFire 39
Karma for stalking his Instagram profile, but a let-off for avoiding hooking up with a guy who films his farts, then posts them to his social media.
JulietMarie 30
Sounds like it’s for the best! Wouldn’t want to hook up with a guy who records and posts him farting online. So gross!!
tounces7 28
Sounds like it was meant to be. And by that I mean, you were meant to find the farting video so you could avoid ever talking to that loser.
PenguinPal3017 19
Now that's what I call a stinky situation!