Intimacy Thunderstruck

Thunderstruck

myasshurts - 14/10/2011 23:03 - United States

Today, while lying in bed with my boyfriend after some steamy lovemaking, he sat up, slapped my ass with excruciating force, and screamed, "I AM THE THUNDER!" directly into my ear. It seems our senses of humor differ considerably. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Volume_control - 10/11/2009 14:41 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having it off in his den, I screamed at the height of my climax, and from the family room came the roaring laughter of my boyfriend's brothers. FML

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Honky

Anonymous - - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML

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byebyeromance - 26/08/2014 01:03 - United States - State College

Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML

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So sensual...

Wellokthen - 17/02/2017 22:00 - United States

Today, things began to get hot and heavy between my boyfriend and me. Suddenly, in a deep, sexy voice, he whispered, "God help me for what I'm about to do." Thinking it was just an odd manner of dirty talk, I mumbled about liking it. He then farted very loudly. FML

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Anonymous - 01/04/2011 04:32 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML

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keepsmiling - 02/09/2009 11:19 - France

Today, I thought it would be sexy to surprise my boyfriend by hiding in the closet naked and pouncing on him as he came to get his pants. I never got to the pouncing. Apparently my boyfriend has heightened reflexes so instead I got slapped hard across the face. My ear is still ringing. FML

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Ape - 17/12/2012 23:12 - United States

Today, my boyfriend grabbed my boob, shook it savagely, and shouted "Earthquake!" FML

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uhoh - 16/02/2013 05:27 - Canada - Sechelt

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend. He put me up against the wall and I yelled, "Harder!" without thinking. I heard the entire house go silent, my dad and his friends included. FML

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Booming

Anonymous - 26/04/2013 22:22 - United States - Arvada

Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML

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Orders

belljars - 18/04/2014 02:27 - United States - Riverside

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and, in the heat of the moment, I cried out for him to go harder. He then had an exasperated expression on his face, and, in an adamantly offended tone, said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he left the room. FML

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nolaneldridge 1

Saturday 15 October 2011 6:06

"get ready to feel the thunda!!!"

TheFakeFamilyGuy 9

Saturday 15 October 2011 6:05

Is he?

Emren829 0

Thursday 15 December 2011 5:01

That is so something my boyfriend would do

supernatural1031 1

Sunday 18 December 2011 3:28

maybe i have a warped sense of humor for a chick but i think thats hilarious! i would laugh my ass off if my bf did that :D

Morgasaurus 7

Friday 23 December 2011 4:41

That's when you should have slapped his face with excruciating force and screamed, " I AM THE LIGHTNING!"

hellojazzii 0

Friday 23 December 2011 10:06

ahahahahaha!

krashbandit 4

Saturday 7 January 2012 6:39

I'm sorry but that's hilarious! At least he didn't scream PREPARE FOR GLORY before the sex.... That makes things far more awkward

whitey53 5

Friday 3 February 2012 19:53

I thought it was funny hahahaha

katiedoll6 7

Tuesday 20 March 2012 0:21

Haha

Mama_Munster 10

Wednesday 30 May 2012 9:11

Bahahha my husband does stupid stuff like that all the time..Most of the time I think it's pretty funny

KaylaDawnn 5

Monday 16 July 2012 12:19

Hahaha! I absolutely live this!

KingreX32 21

Sunday 21 October 2012 14:33

YOUR DATING THOR!!!????

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Awkward Pokémon Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, after celebrating our 5 year anniversary, my girl told me that’s she loves me, but is not in love with me. FML

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Today, during class, a girl had suggested how I, a 16 year-old guy, would be a high maintenance girlfriend. We sat and debated this, allowing for other people to listen in and agree with her, and eventually the entire class agreed with her. Even the teacher. FML

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Today, as I was approaching climax with the girl of my dreams, my mom walked in to ask if I had her car keys, took one look and told me I need to get out, find a real woman and stop watching porn with my headphones on, so I can hear when people are climbing the stairs to my room. FML

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Today, I was attacked by a duck. I thought I was higher on the food chain than that. FML

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Today, I had a beautiful dream. I dreamed that I somehow got into Stanford University, but in class I couldn't keep up with them. In reality, I'm terrible at school. FML

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Today, I finally quit my job after talking with a friend about making our own design/multimedia company. While I was on my way to his house, he called me and told me not to quit because he got an awesome job offer and couldn't refuse. FML

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