Today, on Facebook, I mentioned that I'd just finished reading the novel Pet Sematary. Two hours later, I'd lost two friends and my boyfriend, after they commented "learn to spell, dumbass", "u illiterate fucker", and "well, I'm not dating you for your brains, am I?" I hate humanity. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, one of the human turds that I stupidly added on Facebook posted how terrible her life is after her dad refused to arrange yet another holiday for her this year, so I bitched her out for being such a spoiled little brat. A few hours later, her boyfriend came over and beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, I posted a picture of me without makeup on Facebook. A "friend" commented, "fuk me thts hideus!!" My dad replied, "Hideous, yes, just like your godawful spelling!" My mom yelled at my dad for agreeing with the guy, and they're still fighting. Meanwhile, my self-esteem is in the gutter. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me via Facebook. I cared more about the spelling mistakes he made than the actual message. FML
Today, I wrote a Facebook post venting about the horrible things I've been going through lately, hoping my friends would console me. I discovered that my English teacher from 30 years ago, the creepy dude who keeps asking me out, and some random chick I don't even know are my only "friends." FML
Today, my idiot sister had to have her aged dog put down, then she posts on MY Facebook page, "RIP, Buddy, we'll miss you." My adult children and most of my friends thought I died. FML
Today, a girl who has had a problem with me for as long as I can remember, tagged me in a Facebook status update in which she equated my intelligence to that of a mollusk and equated my weight to that of a hippopotamus. My boyfriend, as well as several of my "friends," liked it. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via Facebook. I don't even have Facebook. My friends had to tell me. FML
Today, after months of being pestered to do so, I finally read the first Harry Potter book. I hated it. Upon hearing this, my girlfriend posted the fact on Facebook, where I immediately received tons of abuse and eventual shunning by my friends, family, and coworkers. My girlfriend just laughed. FML
Today, I added the wrong reaction to a Facebook post, using the laughing smiley instead of the hug, and only noticed two hours later, when my friend wouldn't talk to me because she thought I like found the fact that her dog died funny. FML
Today, after pouring my heart out to a beautiful girl on Facebook, and having her return the favor, she typed a final message that read, "That was my friend. Please f*ck off now. Thanks." FML
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Top comments
BadKitty14 7
Better to rid yourself of fickle friends now than when it can really hurt you!
AllieCat21 21
Point out to them that it's the correct spelling. I'd like to see their reactions.
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Comments (109)
jamnglamgirlie 17
Your 'friends ' are the kind of people that annoy me.
jamnglamgirlie 17
Tell them to look up Stephen King once in a while instead being failed grammar Nazi's.
lenarose0915 4
That's really immature. If they make comments like that, they are not your friends. Great book by the way!
Ressamies 6
Someone on FB actually cares about grammar? You may hate humanity, but I just got a little more respect for it.
onorexveritas 24
you read the book and couldn't remember how to spell the title?
gunnerysgt 15
Send a picture of the cover to them
Hawaii84 16
WTF? I think you are better off with those intolerant assholes. That's just bizarre, they do not sound like fun people at all.
Felling 14
I hate humanity as well. I feel your pain. Oh my god -.-
Jharrist89 12
Tell them you hope their pet dies!
EverdreamOfMe 24
Just tell them it's really how the title is spelled. (It really is, look it up.) I would love to see them feel like dumb asses! Though, you might not need these assholes you call friends.