Today, on Facebook, I mentioned that I'd just finished reading the novel Pet Sematary. Two hours later, I'd lost two friends and my boyfriend, after they commented "learn to spell, dumbass", "u illiterate fucker", and "well, I'm not dating you for your brains, am I?" I hate humanity. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, one of the human turds that I stupidly added on Facebook posted how terrible her life is after her dad refused to arrange yet another holiday for her this year, so I bitched her out for being such a spoiled little brat. A few hours later, her boyfriend came over and beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, I posted a picture of me without makeup on Facebook. A "friend" commented, "fuk me thts hideus!!" My dad replied, "Hideous, yes, just like your godawful spelling!" My mom yelled at my dad for agreeing with the guy, and they're still fighting. Meanwhile, my self-esteem is in the gutter. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me via Facebook. I cared more about the spelling mistakes he made than the actual message. FML
Today, I wrote a Facebook post venting about the horrible things I've been going through lately, hoping my friends would console me. I discovered that my English teacher from 30 years ago, the creepy dude who keeps asking me out, and some random chick I don't even know are my only "friends." FML
Today, my idiot sister had to have her aged dog put down, then she posts on MY Facebook page, "RIP, Buddy, we'll miss you." My adult children and most of my friends thought I died. FML
Today, a girl who has had a problem with me for as long as I can remember, tagged me in a Facebook status update in which she equated my intelligence to that of a mollusk and equated my weight to that of a hippopotamus. My boyfriend, as well as several of my "friends," liked it. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via Facebook. I don't even have Facebook. My friends had to tell me. FML
Today, after months of being pestered to do so, I finally read the first Harry Potter book. I hated it. Upon hearing this, my girlfriend posted the fact on Facebook, where I immediately received tons of abuse and eventual shunning by my friends, family, and coworkers. My girlfriend just laughed. FML
Today, I added the wrong reaction to a Facebook post, using the laughing smiley instead of the hug, and only noticed two hours later, when my friend wouldn't talk to me because she thought I like found the fact that her dog died funny. FML
Today, after pouring my heart out to a beautiful girl on Facebook, and having her return the favor, she typed a final message that read, "That was my friend. Please f*ck off now. Thanks." FML
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Top comments
BadKitty14 7
Better to rid yourself of fickle friends now than when it can really hurt you!
AllieCat21 21
Point out to them that it's the correct spelling. I'd like to see their reactions.
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Comments (109)
The_F3rris 11
Lol I watched that movie yesterday. People are morons.
kithless 6
I had someone try and correct me about that once. He ended up looking like the idiot when I showed him the book, as is only proper. What is wrong with people?
AuntieChowder 3
Because you is spelled u. Amazing friends u got there, OP.
missathegirlwond 19
How ironic: I'm reading "It" right now. King seriously writes like no one else!
musiciangirl591 16
i just finished carrie and i'm now reading cujo :)
kittykat1501 31
I read pet semetary and its my favorite book! How do you like it? It's sad what happens to gage with the truck and church with the needle.
imani132 6
Honestly what's the big deal!? They know what she's talking about. All that was NOT neccissary
skyeyez9 25
The book is actually spelled "Pet Semetery." Google it. There is a reason its spelled the wrong way in the story.
avaeba 14
Post a picture of the cover and tell your friends to eat a dick. Sounds like your boyfriend wasn't worth it anyways.
natalie_sarantos 19
Hmm. Your better off without them
lienabakes 3
I love that book! Get those ignorant ppl out of your life!
Saikon1357 25
Regardless of how badly you butchered 'cemetery', they could have just corrected you without being assholes. Looks like it's time for OP to find better friends... and a dictionary.
ColeyR 4
But she (assuming it's a she) didn't "butcher cemetery". She was using the title of the book, which actually happens to be "Pet Sematary" with that exact spelling.
denzii_beaar 2
It's literally called Pet sematary. It's a Stephen king novel written in 1983. Look it up.
000lizzy000 13
Cemetary?