Today, on Facebook, I mentioned that I'd just finished reading the novel Pet Sematary. Two hours later, I'd lost two friends and my boyfriend, after they commented "learn to spell, dumbass", "u illiterate fucker", and "well, I'm not dating you for your brains, am I?" I hate humanity. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, one of the human turds that I stupidly added on Facebook posted how terrible her life is after her dad refused to arrange yet another holiday for her this year, so I bitched her out for being such a spoiled little brat. A few hours later, her boyfriend came over and beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, I posted a picture of me without makeup on Facebook. A "friend" commented, "fuk me thts hideus!!" My dad replied, "Hideous, yes, just like your godawful spelling!" My mom yelled at my dad for agreeing with the guy, and they're still fighting. Meanwhile, my self-esteem is in the gutter. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me via Facebook. I cared more about the spelling mistakes he made than the actual message. FML
Today, I wrote a Facebook post venting about the horrible things I've been going through lately, hoping my friends would console me. I discovered that my English teacher from 30 years ago, the creepy dude who keeps asking me out, and some random chick I don't even know are my only "friends." FML
Today, my idiot sister had to have her aged dog put down, then she posts on MY Facebook page, "RIP, Buddy, we'll miss you." My adult children and most of my friends thought I died. FML
Today, a girl who has had a problem with me for as long as I can remember, tagged me in a Facebook status update in which she equated my intelligence to that of a mollusk and equated my weight to that of a hippopotamus. My boyfriend, as well as several of my "friends," liked it. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via Facebook. I don't even have Facebook. My friends had to tell me. FML
Today, after months of being pestered to do so, I finally read the first Harry Potter book. I hated it. Upon hearing this, my girlfriend posted the fact on Facebook, where I immediately received tons of abuse and eventual shunning by my friends, family, and coworkers. My girlfriend just laughed. FML
Today, I added the wrong reaction to a Facebook post, using the laughing smiley instead of the hug, and only noticed two hours later, when my friend wouldn't talk to me because she thought I like found the fact that her dog died funny. FML
Today, after pouring my heart out to a beautiful girl on Facebook, and having her return the favor, she typed a final message that read, "That was my friend. Please f*ck off now. Thanks." FML
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Top comments
BadKitty14 7
Better to rid yourself of fickle friends now than when it can really hurt you!
AllieCat21 21
Point out to them that it's the correct spelling. I'd like to see their reactions.
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Comments (109)
FeleciaIgnis 13
Not only is it spelled correctly (the title was spelled wrong on purpose) it is also astounding that they called you illiterate after you finished a ******* door-stopper of a book. I hope find better friends/boyfriend who also have as good of a taste in literature as you do.
waltjrimmer 6
Wow. I, honestly, had not read the book and almost clicked you deserved before I myself was corrected by a huge King fan. It really sucks what happened to you and I hope it doesn't deter you from continuing to read books with a higher IQ and number of brain cells than some of the people who harassed you about it.
Jemm_fml 29
Books have neither IQ nor brain cells. :D
qjdb 8
I believe that's the point. As in her friends have less than the book.
Likian5 26
There's a special kind of irony in the fact your second friend calls you illiterate while writing the letter "u" instead of "you."
musiciangirl591 16
i thought the same thing :P
breezyblue33 19
Forget about posting a pic of the book. Bring the book to school and throw it in their faces.
rakusu_klein 24
I only heard about the book, and I also thought you would spell it differently. But I, for one, look it up before I start accusing :-) real friends get their facts straight before unfriending anyone
ni0ve 9
it's on the cover..and possibly on every footheader
Gaga_is_God6969 13
Wow. No one in your life appreciates Stephen King? FYL
Whocarez 10
I smell bacon.......tssssssss
SuperDanielNL 23
Disregard people aquire books. Or just surround yourself with like minds.
Champignon_fml 19
I wonder what their reactions would be if you posted on Facebook that you just watched Inglourious Basterds.