Today, on Facebook, I mentioned that I'd just finished reading the novel Pet Sematary. Two hours later, I'd lost two friends and my boyfriend, after they commented "learn to spell, dumbass", "u illiterate fucker", and "well, I'm not dating you for your brains, am I?" I hate humanity. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, one of the human turds that I stupidly added on Facebook posted how terrible her life is after her dad refused to arrange yet another holiday for her this year, so I bitched her out for being such a spoiled little brat. A few hours later, her boyfriend came over and beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, I posted a picture of me without makeup on Facebook. A "friend" commented, "fuk me thts hideus!!" My dad replied, "Hideous, yes, just like your godawful spelling!" My mom yelled at my dad for agreeing with the guy, and they're still fighting. Meanwhile, my self-esteem is in the gutter. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me via Facebook. I cared more about the spelling mistakes he made than the actual message. FML
Today, I wrote a Facebook post venting about the horrible things I've been going through lately, hoping my friends would console me. I discovered that my English teacher from 30 years ago, the creepy dude who keeps asking me out, and some random chick I don't even know are my only "friends." FML
Today, my idiot sister had to have her aged dog put down, then she posts on MY Facebook page, "RIP, Buddy, we'll miss you." My adult children and most of my friends thought I died. FML
Today, a girl who has had a problem with me for as long as I can remember, tagged me in a Facebook status update in which she equated my intelligence to that of a mollusk and equated my weight to that of a hippopotamus. My boyfriend, as well as several of my "friends," liked it. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via Facebook. I don't even have Facebook. My friends had to tell me. FML
Today, after months of being pestered to do so, I finally read the first Harry Potter book. I hated it. Upon hearing this, my girlfriend posted the fact on Facebook, where I immediately received tons of abuse and eventual shunning by my friends, family, and coworkers. My girlfriend just laughed. FML
Today, I added the wrong reaction to a Facebook post, using the laughing smiley instead of the hug, and only noticed two hours later, when my friend wouldn't talk to me because she thought I like found the fact that her dog died funny. FML
Today, after pouring my heart out to a beautiful girl on Facebook, and having her return the favor, she typed a final message that read, "That was my friend. Please f*ck off now. Thanks." FML
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Top comments
BadKitty14 7
Better to rid yourself of fickle friends now than when it can really hurt you!
AllieCat21 21
Point out to them that it's the correct spelling. I'd like to see their reactions.
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Comments (109)
skyeyez9 25
Those unfortunate retards. If they had actually read the book, it is spelled that way. The town children were heartbroken for all their dead pets due to a stretch of highway "kill zone" from the speeding semi trucks. They made a pet cemetery and spelled it "Semetery" because they were little kids and didn't know the correct spelling.
KweenChelly 6
I haven't read that book in so long... I feel like reading it again now...
surfergirl72 7
Maybe your to picky with you're friends. Omg! That HURT to write that. Stupid people make me (sic).
melisa_hope 9
You still didn't spell cemetery correctly.
skyeyez9 25
You people do realize the title of the book is spelled "Pet Semetery" for a reason? In the story, a bunch of heartbroken children over the years pets were run over on a stretch of highway in their town. The "kill zone" where speeding "Orinco" semi trucks blast by going 80mph. The children built a pet cemetery for their dead animals. The sign at the gate entrance to the graveyard was spelled "Pet Semetery" by the kids, because they did 't know any better.
davemich53 4
If they don't know about Stephen King, you're better off without them!
denzii_beaar 2
But that's what it's actually called.. People want to run around pretending to be grammar nazis when they don't even know great literature.. What idiots.
iwadasn 33
Stephen King's a skilled writer, but his books aren't exactly "great literature."
denzii_beaar 2
Meh. To each their own right? I love S.K novels! So naturally I would say he's the best out there. And certainly an inspiration for the rest of the authors trying to find their place in this genre.
cappellaaa 23
sucks to suck
Quiet_one 22
The obvious response to this is to reply with a link to the Amazon (or any bookstore's) page for the book and the comment "Who's the illiterate dumbass now?"
RoboCunnilingus 23
If you lost them over something so trivial, you never really had them.