Today, on Facebook, I mentioned that I'd just finished reading the novel Pet Sematary. Two hours later, I'd lost two friends and my boyfriend, after they commented "learn to spell, dumbass", "u illiterate fucker", and "well, I'm not dating you for your brains, am I?" I hate humanity. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, one of the human turds that I stupidly added on Facebook posted how terrible her life is after her dad refused to arrange yet another holiday for her this year, so I bitched her out for being such a spoiled little brat. A few hours later, her boyfriend came over and beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, I posted a picture of me without makeup on Facebook. A "friend" commented, "fuk me thts hideus!!" My dad replied, "Hideous, yes, just like your godawful spelling!" My mom yelled at my dad for agreeing with the guy, and they're still fighting. Meanwhile, my self-esteem is in the gutter. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me via Facebook. I cared more about the spelling mistakes he made than the actual message. FML
Today, I wrote a Facebook post venting about the horrible things I've been going through lately, hoping my friends would console me. I discovered that my English teacher from 30 years ago, the creepy dude who keeps asking me out, and some random chick I don't even know are my only "friends." FML
Today, my idiot sister had to have her aged dog put down, then she posts on MY Facebook page, "RIP, Buddy, we'll miss you." My adult children and most of my friends thought I died. FML
Today, a girl who has had a problem with me for as long as I can remember, tagged me in a Facebook status update in which she equated my intelligence to that of a mollusk and equated my weight to that of a hippopotamus. My boyfriend, as well as several of my "friends," liked it. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via Facebook. I don't even have Facebook. My friends had to tell me. FML
Today, after months of being pestered to do so, I finally read the first Harry Potter book. I hated it. Upon hearing this, my girlfriend posted the fact on Facebook, where I immediately received tons of abuse and eventual shunning by my friends, family, and coworkers. My girlfriend just laughed. FML
Today, I added the wrong reaction to a Facebook post, using the laughing smiley instead of the hug, and only noticed two hours later, when my friend wouldn't talk to me because she thought I like found the fact that her dog died funny. FML
Today, after pouring my heart out to a beautiful girl on Facebook, and having her return the favor, she typed a final message that read, "That was my friend. Please f*ck off now. Thanks." FML
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Top comments
BadKitty14 7
Better to rid yourself of fickle friends now than when it can really hurt you!
AllieCat21 21
Point out to them that it's the correct spelling. I'd like to see their reactions.
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Comments (109)
BadKitty14 7
Better to rid yourself of fickle friends now than when it can really hurt you!
VenomSiphon 13
Make a status saying you just watched Inglourious Basterds
jessi_sunshine 26
I completely agree that OP is better off without the three assholes. What's even sadder, however, is that each of the three was simply too stupid/lazy/judgmental to actually look up the book and figure out that Stephen King was just using his poetic license when titling it. Those illiterate *******.
matega 18
I'd say that her life sucks because of her friends and they should be gotten rid of ASAP, but she totally deserved the one she got from her boyfriend for having this kind of retarded douchebag as a boyfriend.
friedchickenpie 14
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You completely deserve this. It's semmitary. Learn to spell.
RavenLovesViolin 7
Wow, just wow.
keeper801 8
You're joking right?
friedchickenpie 14
Thank you, 13. Someone obviously remembers how to catch sarcasm.
Mopmob02 18
I see what you did there friedchickenpie! I almost didn't catch that one either; I'm not proud to say it but it took me a few seconds.
KingDead 18
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I was thinking 'cemetery' with the misspell.
expertsmilee 26
You have to say that you're being sarcastic in your comments now, otherwise everyone will condemn you for being serious because they can't tell what sarcasm is without being told.
dchiam 11
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
To be fair, when I first read #2's comment, I couldn't tell if it was a joke or not.
babeababe 16
The problem with being able to tell if someone is sarcastic or not through text, is that there is not tone in text. People read it how they think they'd hear it. I could tell that #2 was being sarcastic. But I could see how some people couldn't. I guess sometimes it just comes down to how gullible you are.
chicho0973 4
Really, how is this not obviously a joke, I know text has no tone, but c'mon, its clearly intentional
joshr94 4
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
No it isn't
spekledworf 18
And that's why I assume every FML comment is coated with a heavy dose of sarcasm. Obviously no one is ever serious on here
Ranker69 1
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
It's Pet Sematary genius. :) If you ever saw/read the book you'll know.
bamagrl410 31
Oh good lord, 9, 10 and 36 need to join society and learn that it's the proper spelling of a Stephen King novel.
keshaforever1 14
It's sematary. If you had spent 30 seconds looking it up on Google, you would have known that she had spelled it correctly.
lienabakes 3
Wow. It's the name of the book! Learn to read a good book every once in a while! Look up Stephen King- you might be pleasantly surprised.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
It's pronounced 'glue factory'.
trivel64 16
But of course then people will get all defensive and say "Oh, sure, the 'I was being sarcastic' excuse! Like we haven't heard that one before!" Maybe it's better that we all just stop commenting, haha...
melisa_hope 9
Apparently you are a dumbass as well it is cemetery.
beclaurela 18
ACTUALLY it's spelt Pet Sematary Asshole. Why don't you learn to ******* spell?
friedchickenpie 14
Well, I WAS joking. No need to continue the argument. I get that it can be hard to recognize sarcasm in text. Tip: Read the words "really", "definitely", and "so" with heavy sarcasm.
varsityme 4
It's actually correct. Before you hate on others, at least make sure you are correct, you tosspot.
whatwhyhoo 10
I hope that is sarcasm. The word is cemetery but the book title was intentionally misspelled as Sematary.
LetMeSee 4
As in graveyard it is spelled cemetery, but the novel and movie really is spelled Pet Sematary. Look it up. Oh, and go find a dictionary if you are going to criticize someone's spelling.
musiciangirl591 16
the book is named pet sematary, i have it on my kindle
Nerd_Face 2
I am not sure which I find funnier, your comment or the comments using sarcasm to call you "genius" when they obviously can't tell sarcasm from their left nu...uh leg. Either way, thanks for the laugh!
girl112791 2
Actually, she has it right.
hotrodsforall 1
You are the one that needs to learn to spell, it is actually spelled sematary. Next time, use google or a dictionary before you think that you are going to contradict a person and correct their spelling.
legendxs 20
It IS "Pet Sematary" the name of the book... And it's speleed cemetery, not semmitary, so you learn to spell. Besides, the name of the book can be spelled wrong on purpose, if the author wants to.
GLaDOS8899 14
I am facepalming at everyone here for not understanding sarcasm.
Jonaahhhh 12
If they are willing to break ties for things like that then I wouldn't exactly say you're losing much... (Not to say that it doesn't suck, though)
insertnameherr 11
Yeah her friends are just dumb and her boyfriend's an asshole.
AllieCat21 21
Point out to them that it's the correct spelling. I'd like to see their reactions.
Snowkeys 11
After that we can watch paint dry.
IscoreOnU 19
I've always preferred grass growing.
Sputnikspak 13
Personally, I prefer watching linoleum curl.
Success4444 12
I like watching water boil.
supportcommand 17
Watching silicone dry is pretty rewarding.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
I like watching bread toast.
BulldogHoops 14
Or we could watch soccer. (sorry)
vikingchick 22
There should have been a link to Amazon (or other book website) for the idiots. :)
chelsearenaeee 16
At least you weeded out the stupid people in your life.
Enslaved 38
"Sometimes dead is better!"
ilovedinosawers 17
"Weeeeeeeeeeed 'em out"
RavenLovesViolin 7
Wow, your friends and boyfriend need an attitude adjustment. And an introduction to good literature.
DanielleinDC 34
Hey, I liked the book, but I wouldn't call Stephen King "good literature". At any rate, I know it's been a while since the book and movie based on it were released, but how can you not know the names of the better-selling Stephen King books. If they haven't blocked you, send them the Amazon listing for the book and tell them all to **** off and die.
vanaathiel 13
Lol
keeper801 8
Hey dumby. She did. That's how it is in the book and movie title.
chelsearenaeee 16
16, You don't listen well do you?
valleyshooter 8
Hey 19, it would be correct to say you don't read well 16 do you? Rather then saying you don't listen. Because if you can here my smug-like voice lecturing you then that would be awkward.
karlcolt45 19
tell em it was an ignorance trap! they've been Akbar'd
Morgiepoooh9822 17
That's rude. They clearly know nothing of good horror novels. Pet Semetary is a good book.
zandalee 20
I love Stephen King!!!
SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18
I always saw Pet Semetary as being one of the best novels to explore the depths and concepts of death, and human reactions to that concept. Good horror story too.
HeadlessSparrow 20
You lost two friends, and your boyfriend because they think you spelt a word wrong when it was clearly a book title. Wow. That sucks OP.
Ameel_fml 19
Even if she DID spell it wrong, how did she lose two friends and a boyfriend over it? They were either assholes to begin with, or there's more to this story...
hornyrabbit12 8
I know it sucks