Today, my religious girlfriend convinced me to let her take my virginity. A few hours later, she broke up with me, crying and saying I was going to hell for having sex before marriage. But apparently she isn't, and she can't be with someone who "tempts" her. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend who was planning on waiting until marriage for sex decided to have sex with me. It's been 4 hours and she hasn't stopped crying, praying and calling me the devil's temptation. FML
Today, as things were getting hot with my girlfriend, it came up that I'm a virgin. She broke up with me. FML
Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML
Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML
Today, my future mother-in-law freaked out my very religious fiancé by telling him fornication is gonna send him to hell, because when I was with them in January we had sex every day for a month and she's still mad about it. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after being "pressured" into a relationship with another guy. But it's okay, she said she would think of me every time she made love to him. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after being "pressured" into a relationship with another guy. But it's okay, she said she would think of me every time she made love to him. FML
Today, I got dumped by my girlfriend. Why? She had been praying and came to the conclusion that God was telling her to leave so she could meet her soulmate. FML
Today, my date walked out on me after I told him I was devout in my beliefs, including saving myself until marriage. Apparently, meeting me at Sunday services didn’t twig him to my faith, and he actually thought religious girls were all secret sluts like in the pornos. FML
Today, I had to watch as my deeply religious mother broke out in tears of joy, as she said how happy she was that I was waiting until marriage to have sex. I didn't have the heart to tell her that my fiancé and I fucked on the first date. FML
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Top comments
marcelmg 10
Must be catholic. Can't cope with sinners, but can be sinners.
randomguy76 14
Dodged a HUGE bullet.
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Comments (166)
The_Avatar 22
Screw her! Oh wait....
lulinator 40
Pray you didn't get her pregnant, or you're stuck with that lunatic for 20 years.
dragonvale19 12
Maybe the kids will catch her stupid and stay till their 30..... Or 70...
Myo_fml 20
'That what happened to you?
PickledSweets 22
I hate people like this who give us Christians a bad name. I promise, we're not all like this guys.
Flyndaran 10
To them, you're the ones giving them a bad name. That's the problem with faith. You can't logic your way into finding out which side is correct.
PickledSweets 22
Hmm, I never thought of it that way. You're right. But there are a lot of things you can't explain sometimes, like why people are hypocritical assholes like the OP's ex.
RockstarJAy 16
Thank you! I hate having to explain it.
PegLegRacing 34
Religious people are usually pretty crazy... Dodged a bullet there.
gracehi 33
I really don't think religion is the issue here. I think it's got more to do with the individual.
Paras_800 27
That's totally ridiculous. Either she is crazy or just wanted a reason reason to breakup with you. Either way you dodged a bullet there.
Ava_Darkflame 26
not really... he lost his virginity to her...
TheMathMajor 26
This is one of the reasons I'm not a catholic anymore. They brainwash you into thinking that a perfectly natural thing is evil and you're sinning for even thinking "lustful" thoughts. Very very few people don't want any sexual relationships, and it's not realistic to expect that from people. So all it does is make people feel bad and it doesn't make you a better person for it.
TheMathMajor 26
I don't mean all Catholics when I say this BTW, I know there are religious people who won't judge others for their decisions. Just that when you follow a dogma that tells you that your sexuality is bad, it's just not healthy to think like that.
Smooth_Criminal 24
I agree with you. Not just catholics, baptists as well. I remember certain family members trying to give their version of counseling. they told me if I didn't repent for my sins before the age of accountability, when I die I would be "cast into the pit of eternal hell fire. surrounded by burning/rotting corpses for all eternity" (in case you are wondering: my sin was watching a **** film)
SystemofaBlink41 27
Something that I think is worth mentioning is the fact that 'Hell' as we know it was probably manufactured by the Catholic church with the aid of translation since: 1. The Bible doesn't ever mention eternal suffering as punishment for sin, it mostly just says 'Death' and 2. It says that *everyone* will be saved in the end. The apostles don't even warn the people of a place called Hell! Not once does the Bible say that Satan is in Hell. The places where it does mention Hell, though, is roughly a translation from the word 'Hades', that pretty much means 'grave', not 'Hell'. Just thought people should know this. Hell is basically just a fear control thing. This, to me, was a humongous gamechanger on Christianity.
Demon_of_Light 27
Are you sure that's asccurate? I know in the New Testament, Jesus himself makes frequent mention of the place where there will be "weeping and gnashing of teeth," and he uses many parables that end with the symbol representing nonbelievers winding up burning in a fire. He actually references such a place in his sermons more often than he mentions heaven. He also says, "no one comes to the Father except through me" (read: no one gets to be with God in heaven without Christ). The book of revelation also talks of a Judgment Day where God will finally separate his people from the rest and takes his followers to heaven and casts the rest into hell. Where in the Bible does it say that everyone will be saved?
tranced_ 45
You should've seen that coming! but since you lost your virginity, it's a win-win for both of you.
cheeeksss 29
How on earth can anyone see this coming?
Demon_of_Light 27
And why is it automatically a win to lose your virginity?
the_aspect 28
that is really terrible and sad to say at the least. best of luck to find another woman.
Likian5 26
Hey, just be thankful that you won't have to deal with that crazy bitch again. I honestly think you just dodged a bullet there, matrix style.
EarlFug 19
That's a whole lotta victim. I'm guessing there's a counter-argument to your first sentence. "Today, my religious girlfriend convinced me to let her take my virginity" Really?? That smells like spin if not bullshit ten different ways.