Today, I had dinner with my grandparents. At the table, my grandfather openly complained about how hard it is for him to get out of their hot tub. Not because of his prosthetic leg, but because his balls somehow "get stuck". I really didn't need to know that. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to my grandmom's house for an hour or so. When I came home, my boyfriend was on the bed, covered in the sheets and about to cry. Turns out he taped his ballsack to his leg and couldn't get it off because it "hurts too much." I'm 24 and he's 26. FML
Today, I had to listen to my best friend explain how to properly unstick one's balls from one's leg. I'm a girl. FML
Today, I walked into my elderly grandmother's trailer, used the bathroom and went to wash my hands. She had a soft spot in the floor that she covered with a bathmat. I fell through. Right leg up to my hip in the floor, boobs stuck on the counter. My husband and grandmother stood there laughing. FML
Today, my grandparents came over for a family dinner. I'm somewhat overweight, and my grandma kept making sound effects in time with me doing pretty much anything. When I complained to my dad after she made a long farting sound as I sat down, he told me to suck it up. FML
Today, while trying to help my disabled uncle into his walker, his one testicle popped out of the leg of his short shorts. I asked him to adjust himself and had to hold on to his walker as he did it. FML
Today, I had the misfortune of being left alone with my dad. He took it as an opportunity to tell me in detail all about his recent vasectomy, and the complications the surgeon had due to the scar tissue on my dad's testicles. FML
Today, I went to the beach. While I was enjoying the sun, an old man with prosthetic leg and no clothes on sat next to me. He took off his fake leg and put it behind his head. Then he opened his legs revealing his "stuff." I will never unsee this. Ever. FML
Today, I went to visit my grandparents, as my grandmother may not have long left. When my stepfather wasn't grilling my visibly uncomfortable grandad about Bible passages, my mother was trauma-dumping about how hard her life has been, and how awful her marriage to my father was. They're his parents. FML
Today, I discovered my elderly neighbour likes to roam around his yard naked and wash his balls with the sprinkler. I'm never going to grab a snack in my kitchen again. FML
Today, I walked into the kitchen at the exact moment my uncle decided to bend over in short shorts. Apparently, his ballsack decided it needed extra room, because it dangled out of his pant leg. FML
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Top comments
BlowinChronic 18
Sounds like a very serious issue. You should ask him about it in more detail. I know how much you love hearing about your grandfathers balls.
k_ninjaa 9
how pleasant.
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Comments (82)
ICastillo 25
Or prunes?
martin_martian7 11
Oh I wouldn't stick around with him anymore
winkydog4056 16
Did Grandpa's balls get stuck in a jet stream?
perdix 31
#43, no, the jets provide positive pressure. He more likely got them stuck on a drain, which provides suction. I know this shit because I'm an engineer and not because I've diddled a hot tub. Yeah, that's it!
winkydog4056 16
Did Grandpa's balls get stuck in a jet stream?
winkydog4056 16
Sorry, my phone got stuck....alas repeated comment.
Myo_fml 20
At least you have a grandfather in which to hear testicular tales from.
FlyingPie 17
*from whom to hear testicular tales Or: to hear testicular tales from
Myo_fml 20
Thank you, professor but I'm pretty sure it's fine both ways.
FlyingPie 17
It's not fine the way you wrote it. You don't hear tales from inside a person.
Myo_fml 20
In which refers to any object or person. Learn to English (spelled that way because of the interwebs) .
FYLminesGREAT 5
Raisins? Pfft tell that to Ron Jeremy.
traveler_ghost 12
thanks for that image
CuriousAlien 7
I hope you didn't have sausage for dinner. It would be even weirder if he explained every gruesome detail on how it got stuck to the tub.
september1395 7
What a lovely grandfather you have(: