Today, I had dinner with my grandparents. At the table, my grandfather openly complained about how hard it is for him to get out of their hot tub. Not because of his prosthetic leg, but because his balls somehow "get stuck". I really didn't need to know that. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to my grandmom's house for an hour or so. When I came home, my boyfriend was on the bed, covered in the sheets and about to cry. Turns out he taped his ballsack to his leg and couldn't get it off because it "hurts too much." I'm 24 and he's 26. FML
Today, I had to listen to my best friend explain how to properly unstick one's balls from one's leg. I'm a girl. FML
Today, I walked into my elderly grandmother's trailer, used the bathroom and went to wash my hands. She had a soft spot in the floor that she covered with a bathmat. I fell through. Right leg up to my hip in the floor, boobs stuck on the counter. My husband and grandmother stood there laughing. FML
Today, my grandparents came over for a family dinner. I'm somewhat overweight, and my grandma kept making sound effects in time with me doing pretty much anything. When I complained to my dad after she made a long farting sound as I sat down, he told me to suck it up. FML
Today, while trying to help my disabled uncle into his walker, his one testicle popped out of the leg of his short shorts. I asked him to adjust himself and had to hold on to his walker as he did it. FML
Today, I had the misfortune of being left alone with my dad. He took it as an opportunity to tell me in detail all about his recent vasectomy, and the complications the surgeon had due to the scar tissue on my dad's testicles. FML
Today, I went to the beach. While I was enjoying the sun, an old man with prosthetic leg and no clothes on sat next to me. He took off his fake leg and put it behind his head. Then he opened his legs revealing his "stuff." I will never unsee this. Ever. FML
Today, I went to visit my grandparents, as my grandmother may not have long left. When my stepfather wasn't grilling my visibly uncomfortable grandad about Bible passages, my mother was trauma-dumping about how hard her life has been, and how awful her marriage to my father was. They're his parents. FML
Today, I discovered my elderly neighbour likes to roam around his yard naked and wash his balls with the sprinkler. I'm never going to grab a snack in my kitchen again. FML
Today, I walked into the kitchen at the exact moment my uncle decided to bend over in short shorts. Apparently, his ballsack decided it needed extra room, because it dangled out of his pant leg. FML
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Top comments
BlowinChronic 18
Sounds like a very serious issue. You should ask him about it in more detail. I know how much you love hearing about your grandfathers balls.
k_ninjaa 9
how pleasant.
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Comments (82)
k_ninjaa 9
how pleasant.
Charmillionaire 13
I think that's the worst I've ever felt for a hot tub.
Curiousmaknae 5
It's casual conversation.
raider27 7
Makes me think of that 1000 ways to die episode where.... Shit... He died in a hot tub... But I can't remember how...
sens3sfailing 25
Old people say the grossest things!
Edo369 8
I get that all the time
soccerguy2 11
What? You always hear your grandfather complaining that his balls get stuck?
X_Codes 11
@32 - Oh yeah. Apparently older guys encounter some saggage with their baggage later in life, and complain all the time about how inconvenient and occasionally painful it is.
lilhellian 27
Well that's one way to get some.
newbiehere99 6
Some of? I'm curious to know what he's getting ...
ninjapiratejesus_fml 20
I really don't want to think about how that's possible. I might get a mental image...
GuessWhatKids 13
Just don't picture chafing, hairy old disgusting sagging man balls and you'll be ok.
EyesofStone 27
Man balls? As opposed to lady balls?
BlowinChronic 18
Sounds like a very serious issue. You should ask him about it in more detail. I know how much you love hearing about your grandfathers balls.
lilhellian 27
No! Just NO!!! Very disturbing and very unneeded.
BlowinChronic 18
I'm just having a laugh, no need to take it so seriously. Haha
FML_Whale 18
"Tell me more, Grandpa!"
lilhellian 27
13 I was about to laugh till i got a visual from that. -.-
BlowinChronic 18
"Well it all started when I had my balls next to the jets so that they could get a nice massage..."
lilhellian 27
You sir are evil! :'(
BlowinChronic 18
-conjures up evil laugh- muahahahaha I have taken over your mind with unforgettable images!
lilhellian 27
NOooooooooooooo my pure, innocent mind it's corrupted!!:'(
LolPieRofl 11
Then they got stuck and my balls were shredded and all the sperm flew everywhere
CallMeMcFeelii 14
You took that a little too far there 56.
charvisioku 22
Well they do say the older you get, the lower they hang. This is clearly a harrowing example of the problems caused by ageing.
Vidrill 22
I see your point, but having a hot tub and openly talking about his balls? Your grandpa sounds pretty fun :)
OhAidan 7
Yes... Fun!
graffitied_love 20
Fun? I feel better adjectives could have been used. Example: Creepy, weird, gross....
gc327072 31
Still sounds better than listening to mine talk about everything he hates about the government 24/7.
twitch851 9
* Insert sexist comment here*
emala1096 17
"fun"
DrewFluIngle 10
How does ones balls get stuck in a hot tub exactly?
sarah6786 14
I've heard of guys, regardless of age, sitting on their balls, but I have a feeling at this point he's tripping over them too.
BlowinChronic 18
That face on your profile pic is probably OPs face as the story was being told haha...
LexieWins 0
Is your grandpa Hugh Hefner?