Today, I went to my grandmom's house for an hour or so. When I came home, my boyfriend was on the bed, covered in the sheets and about to cry. Turns out he taped his ballsack to his leg and couldn't get it off because it "hurts too much." I'm 24 and he's 26. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had dinner with my grandparents. At the table, my grandfather openly complained about how hard it is for him to get out of their hot tub. Not because of his prosthetic leg, but because his balls somehow "get stuck". I really didn't need to know that. FML
Today, my husband called me to our bedroom, saying he needed help with something. I found him sitting on the bed with his pants down, so I smiled and asked if he was angling for sex, which was fine with me. Nope. He needed me to pop a pimple under his ballsack. FML
Today, I had to listen to my best friend explain how to properly unstick one's balls from one's leg. I'm a girl. FML
Today, my 5-year-old son woke up early and ran into my bedroom to wake me up. Unfortunately, he did this by jumping onto my bed, slamming his knee into my balls in the process. I had to explain my tears of agony away by claiming I was just so happy to see him. FML
Today, I found out my grandmother passed away. When I told my boyfriend I began to cry. Instead of caring, he said "you're getting my bed wet," rolled over, and fell asleep. FML
Today, my boyfriend met my parents. Within minutes, my dad managed to verbally sever his balls and reduce him to tears, "just for fun" apparently. FML
Today, at work, I wet my pants. I had to throw my tighty-whities away. Since I didn't have underwear on, I chafed real bad and got a rash on my butthole and near my balls. I had to push my boyfriend off of me, all because it hurt too much to touch. FML
Today, I'm sitting in the emergency room because my girlfriend thought it would be funny to superglue my penis to my thigh while I was sleeping. FML
Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarrhea in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping body. He rolled over to whisper, "I heard everything." FML
Today, my boyfriend came over. My mom told him the story about the time she caught me having sex with my ex-boyfriend. My ex is his best friend. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
EvilUndead 9
Well, if he took a hot bath, warm water would make it easier to peel off.
flockz 20
i once heard from a monk that female saliva will just take the tape adhesive right off. trust him, he's a monk.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (96)
EvilUndead 9
Well, if he took a hot bath, warm water would make it easier to peel off.
Slothapus 7
You sound very experienced in this matter....interesting.
then000bster 16
I'm pretty sure he taped it in a manner where if he moved it would cause severe pain. With this I doubt he could make it to the bathroom easily.
xxlizsandraxx 7
well no one told him to do It.
EvilUndead 9
38, Once upon a time I used to live with a very moody house cat that had razor-sharp claws and demeanor of a royalty (you touch it - you bleed), so I used to wear plenty of band-aids. Band aids peel off in shower/bath. So for this dude it'll be the same thing, unless he used superglue or stapler. In case of "superglue", it'll peel off in a few days (skin constantly regenerates and dead cells fall off, so eventually pretty much anything will peel off), in case of a stapler, cement or something similar, there's 911/emergency phone.
Vanessa_Leeann26 17
You have a genius on your hands! Lol
QQmore_fml 18
Sometimes us guys just don't know unless we try... I hope you helped him! Or at least took photos/videos for social networking purposes.
EnigmaThe321 12
Help him take it off. ;)
ohSNAPyall 27
Way too sore to be sexy.
Callyn 47
Well he's a moron. Hopefully he has some good qualities, but I don't think I would choose him to father children.
Megan639 16
Don't know why you were thumbed down, I was thinking the same thing.
locomodo 7
Guess he lost his balls
Bakarra 22
I'm pretty sure he still has them attached thank you...
icemand90 17
replies should be funny or witty... yours was neither...
Smashhoof 15
Everyone ride on the bad comment train!
vampirapaige 11
He must of tried tape them back on!
ninneyfooda 16
The quick rip... Its like waxing but maybe with some skin!
lilledun 11
Tell him to man up and literally show some balls.
Bakarra 22
*Boyfriend whips out balls and shows them to OP* well that didnt solve anything, did you mean figuratively show some balls perhaps?
Mr_Satan 11
I do believe he meant you can't see them due to the tape
Mr_Satan 11
she*
flockz 20
i once heard from a monk that female saliva will just take the tape adhesive right off. trust him, he's a monk.
ElementaryEdGuy 18
It took me way too long to get this.
flockz 20
you know what else is too long and pretty hard?
flockz 20
a calculus test.
outoftown 27
The monk fooled you. It's so the female's tounge gets stuck, too. Then someone calls him in for an *ahem* exorcism ;)
depocadoll 15
I think I just witnessed the elusive technologically-aided strangers-wingman... Haha
Imhere4fml 24
Can't imagine what he would do if you're gone the whole day...