Today, I had dinner with my grandparents. At the table, my grandfather openly complained about how hard it is for him to get out of their hot tub. Not because of his prosthetic leg, but because his balls somehow "get stuck". I really didn't need to know that. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to my grandmom's house for an hour or so. When I came home, my boyfriend was on the bed, covered in the sheets and about to cry. Turns out he taped his ballsack to his leg and couldn't get it off because it "hurts too much." I'm 24 and he's 26. FML
Today, I had to listen to my best friend explain how to properly unstick one's balls from one's leg. I'm a girl. FML
Today, I walked into my elderly grandmother's trailer, used the bathroom and went to wash my hands. She had a soft spot in the floor that she covered with a bathmat. I fell through. Right leg up to my hip in the floor, boobs stuck on the counter. My husband and grandmother stood there laughing. FML
Today, my grandparents came over for a family dinner. I'm somewhat overweight, and my grandma kept making sound effects in time with me doing pretty much anything. When I complained to my dad after she made a long farting sound as I sat down, he told me to suck it up. FML
Today, while trying to help my disabled uncle into his walker, his one testicle popped out of the leg of his short shorts. I asked him to adjust himself and had to hold on to his walker as he did it. FML
Today, I had the misfortune of being left alone with my dad. He took it as an opportunity to tell me in detail all about his recent vasectomy, and the complications the surgeon had due to the scar tissue on my dad's testicles. FML
Today, I went to the beach. While I was enjoying the sun, an old man with prosthetic leg and no clothes on sat next to me. He took off his fake leg and put it behind his head. Then he opened his legs revealing his "stuff." I will never unsee this. Ever. FML
Today, I went to visit my grandparents, as my grandmother may not have long left. When my stepfather wasn't grilling my visibly uncomfortable grandad about Bible passages, my mother was trauma-dumping about how hard her life has been, and how awful her marriage to my father was. They're his parents. FML
Today, I discovered my elderly neighbour likes to roam around his yard naked and wash his balls with the sprinkler. I'm never going to grab a snack in my kitchen again. FML
Today, I walked into the kitchen at the exact moment my uncle decided to bend over in short shorts. Apparently, his ballsack decided it needed extra room, because it dangled out of his pant leg. FML
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Top comments
BlowinChronic 18
Sounds like a very serious issue. You should ask him about it in more detail. I know how much you love hearing about your grandfathers balls.
k_ninjaa 9
how pleasant.
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Comments (82)
FYLminesGREAT 5
As you get older you learn that old people can and will speak their mind without realizing what they said is weird in any way.
BlowinChronic 18
Or they are old and really just don't give a flying **** what people thing.
FYLminesGREAT 5
And that sums it up, old people in a NUTshell *wink*
mikail_fml 6
Well, your grand-father is my idol ! He still get his balls suck at is age :) !
BlowinChronic 18
Stuck... Not suck... Stuck...
CrissyyyS2 22
Could of joked back and said "It shouldn't be if Grandma helps you".
BlowinChronic 18
That would have made everything even more awkward.
emeraldisle 30
Ha! I love grandparents who say it like it is.
AznSamoan52 10
Grandpas. You gotta love 'em.
annie_nk 23
Makes sense you share it with all of FML ;)
perdix 31
As a good grandchild, you should instruct him how to detach his fake leg and use it as a crowbar to pry his balls off the drain. Then, tell Grandma if she applied suction down there, Gramps wouldn't need to be getting it from a hot-tub drain or a trailer-park *****. Call those kinky old *******' bluff.
Trisha_aus 15
But..but your comment on the other Fml was so romantic and this..is..just.. You're so versatile!
FML_Whale 18
I wonder what your Grandma talked about...
ICastillo 25
Well those old wrinkly balls probably sag to your grandpas knees....they probably get caught where the bubbles are made.
Jessy713 6
O_O *speechless*
BlowinChronic 18
Yet you still had to make a comment showing us that you have nothing to say...