Today, I had the misfortune of being left alone with my dad. He took it as an opportunity to tell me in detail all about his recent vasectomy, and the complications the surgeon had due to the scar tissue on my dad's testicles. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad told me that after my two older siblings were born, he got a vasectomy. However, something went wrong, and the vasectomy had failed, resulting in me. FML
Today, I went to a Father's Day lunch with my dad and his fiancée. He suddenly began to describe, in detail, the vasectomy he'd just had, and that I shouldn't be expecting any new siblings any time soon. Thanks for the mental image, Dad. FML
Today, a customer smiled, looked me in the eye and described to me in graphic detail the swelling that occurred to his nuts after his vasectomy. FML
Today, my dad had his "sixteen years overdue" vasectomy. I'm fifteen. FML
Today, my boyfriend met my parents. Within minutes, my dad managed to verbally sever his balls and reduce him to tears, "just for fun" apparently. FML
Today, I walked in on my mother using a razor to shave my dad's cream-covered testicles. FML
Today, my father got married. He left me a voicemail to tell me all about it. FML
Today, my father made his bellybutton talk. In front of my new boyfriend. FML
Today, I didn't see the cat in the bathroom before I took my pants down, and the beast tore open my ballsack. The doctor says I might lose my left testicle, depending on how the surgery goes. FML
Today, I witnessed my dad spreading his ass cheeks to show my mom the rashes his hemorrhoids are giving him. FML
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Top comments
BroSkii69 8
You mean your dad talking to you about his balls isn't normal?
opendoorclosed 8
Always carry an ipod or some sort of emergency mp3 playing device + some headphones with you. When something like this happens again, put on your Aperture Science Emergency MP3 Device as loud as you can, drifting away in the music, far, far away from the awkward conversation.
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Comments (72)
BroSkii69 8
You mean your dad talking to you about his balls isn't normal?
Olovio 5
Ha.
opendoorclosed 8
Always carry an ipod or some sort of emergency mp3 playing device + some headphones with you. When something like this happens again, put on your Aperture Science Emergency MP3 Device as loud as you can, drifting away in the music, far, far away from the awkward conversation.
urdirtyolduncle 15
Sounds more like crystal meth than your average MP3 player...
NomOnShroomz 14
^pretty sure doing meth in front of your dad wouldn't make the conversation any less awkward but that's just my opinion.
NomOnShroomz 14
A hand full of shrooms might be a better choice for this situation...
btnhdude 0
40, you're trippin' maann
tweetbaby14 18
tell your dad that's what happens when he puts his testicles on your drum set.
PurpleRae420 0
Eew I think I'm scared for life after reading this
NoNameAtAll_fml 1
You need to grow a pair........... tehe
shannonreneee 11
My grandma takes the time to tell me about her pap smears.
bodmonontheblock 0
^tell me about yours
CoCoP0P 4
This is my FML. when I submitted it I worded it differently so it has obviously been edited. my dad explained to me that the scar tissue was cause by him not wearing underwear with his jeans. this allows his testicles to sag hence creating the scar tissue. the conversation was akward 1 because I'm a girl 2 because me and my dad have just become close
CoCoP0P 4
also I wasn't left alone with him. I never have been. I've only met him a couple of times in person but now we talk on the phone several times a day. he is a really nice guy sometimes he just tells me to much!
Leatherandlace 0
#52- Do you mean scared or scarred? I guess either one works......
CRAZYBISCUIT 7
First lol jk
whiteboy7thst 2
Your dad is cool
habest 2
You call it misfortune, we call it bonding :) Your dad is the epiphany of cool!!
PeteyPablo12308 20
'epitome' not epiphany...
reversezebra 0
lol. that sucks. id be scarred
Ryley1 0
Just like their father's testicles.
Bigdanish9785 3
thats f*cked up
CAPTmok 7
Well he needed someone to talk with......
PSQ91 6
Did he take pictures too?
victimization 0
why you interested?
XxMaseratiGurlxX 1
he wasnt , i was. jk
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
nah I bet 7 was hoping he would get the pics emailed to him. :)
Badtz_maru_fml 0
Interesting...yeah I'm lying.
sheethapins 13
Oh? Was that an attempt at sarcasm? No one would have known if you hadn't specified you were joking. Good job.
DishHeads 9
he was just trying to make things a little less awkward by starting a conversation... the irony
CoconutMuffin 5
How close are you and your dad?
urdirtyolduncle 15
Hopefully, closer than his two testis are with each other!