Today, I was at my job as a bartender where I had to listen to a 40-something man with no legs drunkenly explain just how much he loves nipples. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while working at the bar, I accidentally spilled a beer on my chest. Several drunk men whistled and seemed to enjoy what they saw so much that they bought even more drinks and started coming onto me. My boss asked if I could do it again on my next shift. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom and her friends comparing the differences in their nipples. FML
Today, at my hotel job, I had to help a drunk naked guy back into his room. Earlier today, a fat old guy wearing only briefs came down to the lobby drunk as hell. I used to like my job. FML
Today, I was at the bar. A man started to hit on me. He claims to have a fetish for pregnant women. I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, I had some girlfriends over, while my parents were having a party at our house. My drunken dad decided to come down to the basement and show us all his third nipple. FML
Today, at work, I met a new client for the first time. Apparently he thought it would be a good idea to get drunk beforehand and spend the whole appointment telling me about his 9-inch "drill bit." I have to try and find this guy a job. FML
Today, at work I had to listen to a group of old men talk about double penetration. I work at a coffee shop. FML
Today, while putting a drip in the back of an elderly patient's hand, he commented that he didn't realise doctors had pierced nipples, but not to worry because he's only in the hospital "for the b*tches". FML
Today, while I was working at Starbucks, a man came in and placed his order. I made his drink, topped it with whipped cream, and put the lid on. Some cream was seeping out of the top. He looked at me and said, "Good… you left a nipple." and slowly licked it off. FML
Today, I went to the bar with some friends. When we walked in, we picked a table at random in the same area as a bunch of older men. The oldest, fattest, ugliest man at the table looked me over then stared at my chest. He then started to motorboat the air in the direction of my boobs. FML
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Top comments
MsSoulReaper 27
Just go with it, poor man has no legs and he's drinking his sorrows away :/
sskarma23 9
Hey it's the fisherman dude from family guy!
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Comments (124)
stevenmx86 8
Well, hello. You're a bartender... Do you expect class? Don't.
MisterMichael 9
Lieutenant Dan??
thebaconweave 0
Lt.Dan?
bjr1208 3
I moderated this! :D
Famguy2083 0
Seriously is no one going to reference capt dan and forest gump at the bar on new years sad day and nipples are awesome unless there those burnt tater tot nipples
jmcdizzle 1
Well we all love a good nipple!:)
kaykay20 0
You work at a bar where people get drink on a daily basis you should have know what to expect.
kaykay20 0
*known
MoZZie_fml 0
should have pulled up your shirt and asked what he thought of your nirps
Epikouros 32
Of course the drunk having no legs is relevant. You could have put him on a chair at a table away from the bar. YDI.
irokyoursox 6
Lieutenant Dan!