Today, I went to the bar with some friends. When we walked in, we picked a table at random in the same area as a bunch of older men. The oldest, fattest, ugliest man at the table looked me over then stared at my chest. He then started to motorboat the air in the direction of my boobs. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at a bar. A fat guy looks at me for a while and sits down next to me. He turns and I expect that he'll hit on me. He then buttons down his shirt, presses his man boobs together and say to his friends “Look, I’ve got bigger tits than than the girl next to me!" His friends agreed. FML
Today, I was at a club with my friends, when a group of guys approached us. It got quiet for a second, and I heard one of them say, "It's okay, I've got the fat one this time," then walk over and start talking to me. FML
Today, I went to a bar with my best friend, and some guys came up to us and started flirting with her and offering her a drink. I felt a bit left out and started joking that "I'm thirsty too". One guy looked at me, cringed and said, "No, I don't buy drinks for weird girls." FML
Today, I went to the gym. This really fat and gross guy got on the machine next to men and I figured he'd hit on me but he didn't even look at me the whole class. Now my self-esteem is in the gutter. FML
Today, I was at a party. A guy kept looking at me, so I tried to strike up a conversation with him. I realized he was drunk when he slurred, "Ya know, you're the only girl I've met that's fat AND flat chested!" There goes my self-esteem. FML
Today, I went to a bar for some drinks. A guy looked me up and down, gave me a suggestive smile, then asked for my name and number. I'd have been a little less creeped out if he hadn't been standing beside me at the urinal the whole time. FML
Today, I had to explain to my father why most of the bar was giving him dirty looks at a concert. His air guitar motions made it look like he was jacking off under the table. FML
Today, I went out to celebrate my birthday with a big group of friends. After waiting in line to get into a club, the bouncer looked me up and down and said, "No fat chicks." My friends went into the club without me and left me to take a $100 taxi home alone. FML
Today, I was at a bar with my friend, when I noticed a young lad at a table near to us. I thought it'd be funny to jeer and flick peanuts at him. I went to the restroom, only to come back to my friend face-down on the floor. Turns out the guy fucked him up instead, and now he won't talk to me. FML
Today, I was sitting in a bar next to this gorgeous guy who kept eyeing me up and after about 30 minutes he finally leaned in to whisper something in my ear. What he said? "If I were you, I would get a push-up bra." FML
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Top comments
gingermonster16 0
Don't FML! That's a compliment. It means you have good boobs. You should have flipped him off though. For those confused: Moaterboating is when you get all up into someones cleavage (in this case) and shake your head left and right while making your lips flap together by breathing air out. HAHAHAHAHAHA! I just laughed at myself writing that description. It sounds soooo ******* dumb when expained, but it is just ******* dumb anyways.
Jonesy_fml 0
Beggars can't be choosers! =P
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Comments (134)
the_boss_fml 0
rofl haha. ydi for being boring and trashy. first!
heather_xxo 0
what does motorboat mean haha
IAmBridgette 0
Never seen Wedding Crashers? Haha, basically, it means he wanted to bury his face in her chest, shake his head left and right while making a "motorboat" sound.
streetsman 0
how do you not know?
Rainhawk94 27
Hey here's a crazy thought, not everyone on fml has English as their first language
Jonesy_fml 0
Beggars can't be choosers! =P
LOLIMH 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
YDI just for saying motorboat.
the_boss_fml 0
shot sorry I just realized I posted my comment in the wrong one. haha fail
Koalafrau_fml 0
What does motorboating the air mean??? You mean, like Barney in HIMYM?
_apecakez 0
I'd probz air-motorboat you too. :]
24788 7
#2 and #6 - motorboating refers to someone rubbing their face in someones ****. He wanted to motorboat her **** and showed a little demonstration for her.
heather_xxo 0
oh.
gingermonster16 0
Don't FML! That's a compliment. It means you have good boobs. You should have flipped him off though. For those confused: Moaterboating is when you get all up into someones cleavage (in this case) and shake your head left and right while making your lips flap together by breathing air out. HAHAHAHAHAHA! I just laughed at myself writing that description. It sounds soooo ******* dumb when expained, but it is just ******* dumb anyways.