Today, I was at my job as a bartender where I had to listen to a 40-something man with no legs drunkenly explain just how much he loves nipples. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while working at the bar, I accidentally spilled a beer on my chest. Several drunk men whistled and seemed to enjoy what they saw so much that they bought even more drinks and started coming onto me. My boss asked if I could do it again on my next shift. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom and her friends comparing the differences in their nipples. FML
Today, at my hotel job, I had to help a drunk naked guy back into his room. Earlier today, a fat old guy wearing only briefs came down to the lobby drunk as hell. I used to like my job. FML
Today, I was at the bar. A man started to hit on me. He claims to have a fetish for pregnant women. I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, I had some girlfriends over, while my parents were having a party at our house. My drunken dad decided to come down to the basement and show us all his third nipple. FML
Today, at work, I met a new client for the first time. Apparently he thought it would be a good idea to get drunk beforehand and spend the whole appointment telling me about his 9-inch "drill bit." I have to try and find this guy a job. FML
Today, at work I had to listen to a group of old men talk about double penetration. I work at a coffee shop. FML
Today, while putting a drip in the back of an elderly patient's hand, he commented that he didn't realise doctors had pierced nipples, but not to worry because he's only in the hospital "for the b*tches". FML
Today, while I was working at Starbucks, a man came in and placed his order. I made his drink, topped it with whipped cream, and put the lid on. Some cream was seeping out of the top. He looked at me and said, "Good… you left a nipple." and slowly licked it off. FML
Today, I went to the bar with some friends. When we walked in, we picked a table at random in the same area as a bunch of older men. The oldest, fattest, ugliest man at the table looked me over then stared at my chest. He then started to motorboat the air in the direction of my boobs. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
MsSoulReaper 27
Just go with it, poor man has no legs and he's drinking his sorrows away :/
sskarma23 9
Hey it's the fisherman dude from family guy!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (124)
Burn1 0
You lived more in that one man's story then you ever have before. Take notes.
Bladian 5
Why is his lack of legs relevant? You sound shallow.
Enslaved 38
Him not having legs may not seem relevant to you but it's part of his "description". I'm guessing the OP may have felt /sorry/ for him and listened rather than told him to "**** off" with his unwanted dirty talk.
FYLDeep 26
You should explain to him how much you like legs.
spatz447 3
I don't see how him being legless had anything to do with this?
maphineRAWRS 10
Sounds hilarious to be honest, haha
purple91 8
Maybe if you had of shown him yours he would have shut up?
MwahFMLS 6
Well, did he follow it with that statement because you have nice nipples?
carmenm 6
Why did you feel the need to write that he had no legs that was irrelevant..
KociaQ 30
That's the life of a bartender, sadly.
Enslaved 38
It could be.(: But as a bartender, you need to stay in control of your guest. Most places give bartenders the power to cut people off and bar them from returning. No amount of tip is worth feeling uncomfortable at your job.(:
UrCapsLockOn 12
Who said that OP's a DUDE .. Maybe she's a GIRL and that's why it more like an FML