firstandlastjob
🌶️ Spicy
Make it stop
Today, at work I had to listen to a group of old men talk about double penetration. I work at a coffee shop. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
mystupidson
United States 🌶️ Spicy
TMI!!
Today, I visited my son at work. He's an interpreter for the government. As I watched him converse with a group of men, I was overcome with pride. Then the woman next to me said, "I can't believe they're talking about that in public." They were discussing masturbation techniques. FML
what the FUCK
Midlothian, United States 🌶️ Spicy
WHAT?
Today, I worked overtime with three guys who never shut up about partying and getting laid. When I finally escaped the testosterone and got home, the first thing I heard was my grandpa telling my dad all about how he once fisted a girl to orgasm. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
The accidental voyeur
Today, I stayed late at work. While I was getting coffee from the pantry, one of the cleaners came into the break room with her boyfriend, who then proposed marriage. I was reluctant to interfere so I kept quiet, until I clearly heard them start having sex, all while I was trapped clutching my coffee jar. FML
beckbm23
United States
Today, at work at a grocery store an old couple came through my checkout lane. As I was putting their bagged groceries in the cart, the old man started feeling me up. FML
Anonymous
Manchester, United Kingdom
The walls have ears
Today, while sitting at a table in a coffee shop, I overheard someone on the next table talking about their horrible boss. I joined in, complaining about mine, and going into great detail about what an arsehole he can be. Turns out, I was talking to my boss's sister. FML
Cromwel620
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Reminder
Today, I was working the night shift at the hotel I'm employed at. After checking in a young couple to the room above the main office, I was forced to listen to them having it off for most of the night, serving a very loud reminder that I've been single for five years. FML
Janer88
Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Quite the misunderstanding
Today, I was working at a restaurant when my manager approached me and informed me that there was people having sex in the women's washroom, and he needed me to go in and ask them to cut it out. So I did. Five minutes later, a woman walks out with her disabled son and asks to talk to my manager. FML
why
Broomfield, United States
Today, I'm no longer allowed to work the drive-thru at my job, because over the weekend, 3 dumbasses I go to school with came in and complained to my manager, saying I sounded a creepy pervert and that it scared them enough to take their business elsewhere. FML
Dhagiik
Oak Park, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I walked into the bathroom at work, and in the stall next to me I could hear someone pleasuring himself. I decided to let my boss know what was going on, but it turns out that it was my boss in the stall next to me. FML
Anonymous
Charlotte, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I walked into the restroom at work, only to find my boss stroking and playing with himself. I have my annual performance assessment with him in an hour. FML
Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Did they decide that it's gay if the guys' balls touch each other? That's a big bone of contention in DP.
Wadlaen 24
Well, you know, it's not until you reach a certain age you really got time to spend on your hobbies😜
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Comments (8)
bl3ur0z3 17
You work at a coffee shop? That makes it extra terrible. It's not like you work in a professional office where such conversation would be normal and expected. Honestly, if this is the worst thing about your day, I'd like to trade days with you and mine hasn't even started.
BurnInDemonFire 39
The only place this kind of a discussion would be "normal and expected" is on the set of a porno.
Charlie Given 28
next time either give your boss the heads up or very politely remind them that they're in a public /family area and that kind of talk is inappropriate
RichardPencil 32
Did they decide that it's gay if the guys' balls touch each other? That's a big bone of contention in DP.
Wadlaen 24
Well, you know, it's not until you reach a certain age you really got time to spend on your hobbies😜
RichardPencil 32
A coffee shop is a good venue for such a sophisticated discussion. Good thing they weren't at a Chuck E. Cheese's. They might demo on the animatronic robots and really scar the children!
ojoRojo 27
Your username is “firstandlastjob”...so you’re giving up on working altogether because of that? Good luck paying your bills
RichardPencil 32
You know, to old men, "double penetration" means the combined prostate exam and colonoscopy. More mortifying than the **** maneuver!
Brightside86 31
The older I get the more cavalier I get about sex. In another 10-20 years it's easy to imagine truly not caring all. I mean remember when it was icky just to like girls?