Today, I was at my job as a bartender where I had to listen to a 40-something man with no legs drunkenly explain just how much he loves nipples. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while working at the bar, I accidentally spilled a beer on my chest. Several drunk men whistled and seemed to enjoy what they saw so much that they bought even more drinks and started coming onto me. My boss asked if I could do it again on my next shift. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom and her friends comparing the differences in their nipples. FML
Today, at my hotel job, I had to help a drunk naked guy back into his room. Earlier today, a fat old guy wearing only briefs came down to the lobby drunk as hell. I used to like my job. FML
Today, I was at the bar. A man started to hit on me. He claims to have a fetish for pregnant women. I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, I had some girlfriends over, while my parents were having a party at our house. My drunken dad decided to come down to the basement and show us all his third nipple. FML
Today, at work, I met a new client for the first time. Apparently he thought it would be a good idea to get drunk beforehand and spend the whole appointment telling me about his 9-inch "drill bit." I have to try and find this guy a job. FML
Today, at work I had to listen to a group of old men talk about double penetration. I work at a coffee shop. FML
Today, while putting a drip in the back of an elderly patient's hand, he commented that he didn't realise doctors had pierced nipples, but not to worry because he's only in the hospital "for the b*tches". FML
Today, while I was working at Starbucks, a man came in and placed his order. I made his drink, topped it with whipped cream, and put the lid on. Some cream was seeping out of the top. He looked at me and said, "Good… you left a nipple." and slowly licked it off. FML
Today, I went to the bar with some friends. When we walked in, we picked a table at random in the same area as a bunch of older men. The oldest, fattest, ugliest man at the table looked me over then stared at my chest. He then started to motorboat the air in the direction of my boobs. FML
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Top comments
MsSoulReaper 27
Just go with it, poor man has no legs and he's drinking his sorrows away :/
sskarma23 9
Hey it's the fisherman dude from family guy!
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Comments (124)
nolife1200 0
nipples
fatalkiss 0
Chris, that's a terrible word..."nipples".
StoryOfTheYear 15
I honestly see no problem here unless you dislike nipples.
Kesha_Mei_Ash 0
Make him a buttery one. He'll love that.
rttr 18
That is just WIERD, fyl
StoryOfTheYear 15
I believe you spelled wired wrong. That's just weird.
Vball6 19
21- I believe you just spelled weird wrong. That's just weird.
StoryOfTheYear 15
It's almost... as if... I actually had meant to say wired... Hmm..........
Vball6 19
Oh...-.-'
gpaine 0
Me father was a tree!
UrCapsLockOn 12
we speak no Americanooo :D
lajaynay 15
Well... Guys generally DO love nipples.
UrCapsLockOn 12
i love ASSes more ..... *runs back under he's shell*
ninjaniki 0
I think he was hinting at something ;D
fatalwish 6
Could have been a 50 something woman
spuzak 0
I'm sorry but that us hilarious!
flockz 20
don't let him escape!! he sounds like The Nippler, the world's most dastardly villain.