Today, I got into a fight with my boyfriend. The only thing he could think of to cheer me up was to give me "permission" to give him a blowjob. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He decided that the best time would be while I was giving him a blowjob. He then seemed confused as to why I didn't finish. FML
Today, I took a shower with my boyfriend. I tried to be adventurous and went to give him a blowjob, only to end up slipping and head-butting him in the balls. FML
Today, I was feeling frisky and asked my boyfriend if he wanted a blowjob. He said, "Fuck no", then rolled over to go to sleep. FML
Today, my boyfriend got upset that I wouldn't give him head. He was visiting me at the hospital. FML
Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
If he really wanted to make you happy, he'd give you permission to blow a guy with a real-sized dick.
oxemilyxo 5
That sucks. I'm sorry /:
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Comments (154)
SolemnlyLove 7
ok im sick of these ******* fmls, yfdi for putting up with a douchebag... you want to put up with him then dont ******* bitch about him...
EODTEC 5
Last time I checked the site was called FML. The whole purpose is to bitch about things.
konto5 1
@ #119: That is so true. This website was once good, but obviously stupid women that are bitching about their boyfriends have taken over.
ladiesman219 4
Haha what an honor I guess
rabbittboi 18
You ,35, are a rock star sir. Even your mistakes make sense.
incrapper 7
what's so bad about a ********
tayza249 20
He was meant to be cheering HER up, but all he did was give her 'permission' to pleasure him. In other words, selfish prick
incrapper 7
haha
vegan_muffin 5
Some people actually find pleasure out of giving others pleasure. Maybe if she lies back in a bed, next to a satisfied boyfriend with an empty sperm tank, she will be cheered up. I know I sure would be!
iranoutofnames 6
insensitive prick.
captainbj2 0
You also have the ability to take control and dump him.
ChickenInMyKitch 4
35 had an unintentional oxymoron... props to the man!
CaliGali 9
Tell him that you give him permission to kiss your ass and leave
mattNO13 0
Winning?
funkthat26 2
See, this is when I wonder how girls can end up with guys so selfish and stupid.
konto3 2
That's because girls are stupid.