Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He decided that the best time would be while I was giving him a blowjob. He then seemed confused as to why I didn't finish. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend of 7 months broke up with me, and then asked if I'd give him head one last time before he left. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via text message while we were having sex. FML
Today, I got into a fight with my boyfriend. The only thing he could think of to cheer me up was to give me "permission" to give him a blowjob. FML
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend for the first time, he told me he wanted to break up. He told me my orgasm face wasn't something he could put up with. FML
Today, I had my first sexual experience since going through a rough break up a month ago. The guy finished after 60 seconds of a blow job and then didn’t return the favor. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, and gave his little speech, over the phone. He did all this while his ass was firmly planted in a chair in the next room. FML
Today, my boyfriend was breaking up with me because he felt his needs were not met. I asked what I could do to change his mind. He said, "Suck my dick, right now." It got me more turned on than I thought possible. What is wrong with me? FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by rapping in a voicemail. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, my boyfriend's proposal speech somehow ended with him breaking up with me. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
What an idiot! He should be thankful you didn't bite.
vcapelo 19
What an idiot!
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Comments (183)
g_asia 4
Blow him off!
sirbrainiac 2
You should have bitten him.
megusta3 5
Someone should hit you. In the face. With a hammer.
afallingstar 22
That's what I would have done...never mess with someone who's got your penis in their mouth
CoconutOil 7
39 - that would make a great pumper sticker!!!
Scarshadow101 6
Well, he's a jerk. And he's got some nerve upsetting the person with his penis in their mouth. Either that, or he's just incredibly stupid. I feel you, OP. FYL
dragonstrike94 8
Haha your pic and your comment
Futacy 30
The fact that he's that stupid shows that you're too smart for him anyway.
bethrocksya 9
Honestly, how did you resist the urge to NOT bite it?! Some men are so stupid! >.
dinorider_fml 4
I'm not sure why this is getting thumbed down, I thought it was a decent pun
spiritfang11237 16
71- a pumper sticker is a sticker girls stick on their rumps for the time when guys do them from behind. They usually have cute, funny sayings and some are flavored. Well that or a misspelling of bumper stickers....
Knightchaser27 25
138-Is that something people actually do?
spiritfang11237 16
141- No. I was making a joke but i dont think people found it funny.
PinkieKeen 20
What a prick
vcapelo 19
What an idiot!
TurtleSmile 14
She should have bitten his dick off.
UberNova 18
Because genital mutilation is always a justified response to a bad break up situation.
simonsaysYDI 8
She could have played it off as shock. "I just bit down in surprise!!"
you_failed 15
More like a complete jerkoff!
F0xyTurtle 8
You're better off without him. What a douche bag.
perdix 31
What an idiot! He should be thankful you didn't bite.
onlychildFTW 34
That would hurt. No one should break up with someone while they are getting pleasured. That's just asking for trouble. It's good you didn't bite him and its good you didn't finish. You should have probably slapped him though. He's and idiot and you deserve better.
picturescrazy 24
No shit. The whole point of biting him would be to hurt him for being an inconsiderate asshole.
Carmstro 13
No kidding! If I were a guy the last thing I would want to do would be to piss someone off when they're in a good position to do a lot of harm.
afallingstar 22
give him physical pain for your emotional pain
annie_nk 23
Or OP could have gotten him almost off then bite him. Blue balls on top of a sore shaft.
dragonstrike94 8
No a sore shaft on top of blue balls . Did you skip anatomy class :3
Nabee143 3
59 Your baby is ADORABLE!
Mauskau 36
She should've bitten him. I definitely would've. And a punch in the nuts. :)
stfuNOWplease 6
She should have twisted his family jewels
bethrocksya 9
She should of! I don't understand how she resisted the urge to NOT hurt his manhood!
annie_nk 23
62 - Lol I meant it like one pain on top of another :P 91 - THANK YOU :D
el11 1
I would of done it!
yousuck44 11
No she should have stomped him in the nuts. XD
mydadpulledout 17
I was going to say something along the lines of not pissing someone off that has the ability to decapitate my second head, but it looks like that's already been covered. That dumbass shouldn't breed, there's already plenty of stupid to go around!
skittle_QUEEN_YO 15
Please if i was her it aint gonna be called manhood anymore. Hey atleast he would make a great opera singer XD
kewlaidman10 15
Wow what an asshole.
wlddog 14
Wrong side. Your thinking of the word "dick".
courtz94 24
What an idiot. If he can't figure that out, then he's got some major issues.
cranker08 10
Idiot. Should have ended with a punch to his nut sack !
heythere131630 9
That's sucks. And not in the good way either.
loserboii 11
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Why didn't you finish? It's very inconsiderant of you to possibly give him blue balls. You're not the best team player!
hopsinlove17 26
She just got dumped. No happy ending for him.
baconftw 9
Obviously biased..
illmatic2 16
Obviously he's being sarcastic. It's still not funny though.
llamafish 25
OP is inconsiderate? If the guy is so desperate to "finish" he can give just jack off by himself. And how is it not inconsiderate to plan to break up with someone but first have them give you a ********?
rainbowkissies 14
lol, if you're going to use "big words" then please use them correctly.
illmatic2 16
What big words?
Scarshadow101 6
Instead of "inconsiderant", he should've used "inconsiderate", which is be correct term. But if you're gonna be a grammar Nazi, please do it correctly.
loserboii 11
At llamafish i was being sarcastic, but i forgot it's hard for people like you to detect sarcasm.
Myo_fml 20
It's not exactly easy to detect sarcasm on the Internet for anyone.
SirCharles83 13
57- Maybe you should take your own advice. "Which is be correct term"
SuperGirlTaDa 15
Inconsiderate is a big word now? Oh god....
MizzErikaHart 8
It's kind of big, 14 letters.
iarefatal 9
Inconsiderate has 13 letters, not 14... Does this make me a basic elementary math nazi?
meso222 8
Sadly yes... But it also makes you smart, compared to general society.
3563560 7
Well i should have known it would be a big word for you. You're a blonde
limitedition 25
Don't forget the balls next time.