Today, I got into a fight with my boyfriend. The only thing he could think of to cheer me up was to give me "permission" to give him a blowjob. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He decided that the best time would be while I was giving him a blowjob. He then seemed confused as to why I didn't finish. FML
Today, I took a shower with my boyfriend. I tried to be adventurous and went to give him a blowjob, only to end up slipping and head-butting him in the balls. FML
Today, I was feeling frisky and asked my boyfriend if he wanted a blowjob. He said, "Fuck no", then rolled over to go to sleep. FML
Today, my boyfriend got upset that I wouldn't give him head. He was visiting me at the hospital. FML
Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
If he really wanted to make you happy, he'd give you permission to blow a guy with a real-sized dick.
oxemilyxo 5
That sucks. I'm sorry /:
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Comments (154)
StrangerrDangerr 4
Gee, how considerate of him. . .
Majstr 23
Better than nothing.
fk123 0
Just give him the bj
anon_e_m00se 8
and don't forget to make him a sandwich.
F0xyTurtle 8
I don't think guys understand that when girls give them ******** that they are giving them the opportunity to cause major damage with their teeth...
konto5 1
I don't think girls understand when guys lick girls' nasty lady taco they have the opportunity to bite their pleasure button off.
Roze1123 2
Well... He's a gentlemen -.-
erongetti 2
ydi for still calling him your boyfriend
brighteyes81 0
Did anyone read this?! It doesn't make sense! "the only thing way"? I'm not a grammar Nazi but how did this pass through?
LaLeighPop 0
I agree with 21; get rid of him..
BrimfullOfAsher 20
Time for this guy to become your ex-boyfriend.
sandmancometh 3
If you needed cheering up after a fight it's cause you lost the fight!!! Now it's very unusual when, as a woman you lose a fight and highly unlikely that this will ever happen again. So gobble that nobble girl and tell him he's the winner!!!