Today, I got into a fight with my boyfriend. The only thing he could think of to cheer me up was to give me "permission" to give him a blowjob. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He decided that the best time would be while I was giving him a blowjob. He then seemed confused as to why I didn't finish. FML
Today, I took a shower with my boyfriend. I tried to be adventurous and went to give him a blowjob, only to end up slipping and head-butting him in the balls. FML
Today, I was feeling frisky and asked my boyfriend if he wanted a blowjob. He said, "Fuck no", then rolled over to go to sleep. FML
Today, my boyfriend got upset that I wouldn't give him head. He was visiting me at the hospital. FML
Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
If he really wanted to make you happy, he'd give you permission to blow a guy with a real-sized dick.
oxemilyxo 5
That sucks. I'm sorry /:
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Comments (154)
purple1sky 0
that's funny...so go enjoy it and be happy
strawberrydreams 18
This one of those opportunities to say where you have the right to say get the **** out. At least, that's what I would do.
sweetandsexy 0
haha I was going to say that, oh the irony !
lokrar789 7
Some people get all the luck
joncole 6
Starting a band hand full o Peter haha
slushpup9696 12
You deserve it for dating a douchebag and expecting something sweet from him.
jigsawbanana 0
Atleast he gave you permission!
EmoKittyLovesYou 0
Tell him he has "permission" to get slapped
balljoints 8
Sounds like an easy going dude
bullrider92 19
My girlfriend would tell me I have her permission to hit the door.