Today, I saw a cute girl working register at my regular coffee shop and politely asked the her for her number. I was brutally rejected. A few minutes later, a douchebag with a popped collar approached her with a cheesy pickup line and left with not only her number, but a free frappe. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Deluxe Memory Man
Today, I saw a cute girl at a bar and decided to go and chat her up. After charming her with my usual crap for a while, I told her she was really pretty, and asked for her number. She replied, "You asshole, I met you here a year ago and gave you my number, and you never called me." FML
Smiley smile
Today, I learned that just because the cute barista at the train station smiles, waves at me each time I arrive, and develops small talk, probably means she's trying to sell me pastries. The smile she had when I asked for her number, and the way she said, "Nah" still haunts me. FML
Nice try
Today, while working as a cashier, I was flirting with this cute girl. When I asked her if she had her store card she said, "No", paused, then said "Can I give you my number?" I said, "Sure, that would be awesome, do you want mine?" She said no. I didn't know I could just enter the card number. FML
Having multiple jobs may have its benefits
Today, I flirted with the cashier at the local bagel joint. I complimented her unique blue hair and got her number. Later on that evening, she served my girlfriend and me our food at a different restaurant. FML
Today, I went to a coffee shop with my friend. The guy rang her up and said it was only a dollar as he winked at her $10 purchase. Then he rang me up at completely full price. She got his number and I got to be the ugly friend once again. FML
Help yourself
Today, I was working at the mall as the girl that stands around giving out samples of the foods. This guy came up to me and we were flirting for at least 30 minutes. With the tray in one hand, I gave him my cell to put his number in it. He ran away with my phone. FML
Awww, my feefees
Today, I saw a beautiful girl at the bar. I attempted to be friendly and hit her up for a chat. She called me a “creep” and told me to get lost. A few moments later, another guy does the exact same thing I did and she smiled and kept flirting. FML
I'm a loser, baby
Today, while out for lunch, a guy approached me and asked for my number. I politely declined. To my dismay, he dropped to his knees, grabbed his head, and started moaning about how nobody ever gives him a chance. I felt the accusing stares. FML
Today, a cute girl I know in passing approached me very nervously and blushing like mad. She gave me a note with a number on it, said to call her, then ran away. When I called the number later, it was one of those rejection hotlines. What the hell? FML
Today, I felt fairly depressed about being single for the holidays during work. This cute girl came to my register asking about our sales ad. After telling her we had no copies, she asked for my number. I shouted: "Finally, someone wants to go out with me." She wanted the store's number to call. FML
Top comments
RatRodInk 0
Everyone knows you gotta pop your collar if your a pimp
Inspired22 11
Don't give up. The worthwhile girls don't go for the popped-collar type anyway.
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Comments (347)
RatRodInk 0
Everyone knows you gotta pop your collar if your a pimp
Iamnotmyself 17
I'd become a pimp for free frappichinos! Also the money but that's just a extra.
slushpup9696 12
As long as gator's boys are using jimmies, I have no problem. (somebody please get the movie ref)
morganrules123 10
19-Gator don't play no shit!
ktateprado 0
I can out pimp gator.
officeradvil 8
Dirty Mike and the boys use that coffee shop as an F-Shack.
ThreeSheetsGone 12
I'm a beautiful peacock! Let me spread my wings and fly!
slushpup9696 12
aim for the bushes.
hellogoodbye1996 6
He "asked the her for her number" lmao
enonymous 9
“Ok, first off, a lion…swimming in the ocean? Lions don’t even like water.If you placed it near a river, or some sort of fresh water source, that’d make sense.But you find yourself in the ocean, a 20 ft wave, I’m assuming its off the coast of South Africa, coming up against a full, grown, 800 lb tuna with his 20 or 30 friends.You lose that battle. you lose that battle nine times out of ten. And guess what, you wandered into our school, of tuna and we now have a taste of blood! We’ve talked, to ourselves. We’ve communicated and said, ‘you know what? lion tastes good. Lets go get some more lion.’We’ve developed a system, to establish a beachhead and aggressively hunt you and your family. And we will corner your, your pride, your children, your offspring…”
Xtra_Cheddar 3
Gator needs his gat you punk @ss bi*ch
Iamnotmyself 17
-50. Is it normal if I orgasmed to your comment? No? I'll crawl back into my corner then.
enonymous 9
I ****** every time I post. Mainly because I post on the toilet. Poopgasm: best feeling ever
PutItIn 8
I thought this was gonna end in **** in My Pants.
ktateprado 0
I **** right in my pants everytime your next to me.
enonymous 9
56 only if you play your cards right
enonymous 9
56 only if you play your cards right
ElGranOrgo 0
Rofl
CondomSense 4
I agree, don't worry OP, she won't get far in life, certainly.
22cute 17
OMG! I love your pic!!!
Iamnotmyself 17
-97 not one person knows who you are addressing, please put the number as I have done before commenting. I shall give a couple of examples: ~837 Ur mom is fat get out of her base ment n00b #547 Your piss makes me want to glitter sparkle all over you. To 637: Rifl ur cummont so funy haha
Drigr 9
74 why do you say that? obviously she us attractive. she can live off the dimes of others her whole life. and if that ever fails she can be a *****, stripper, or **** star
juicedboi 7
U Mirin' Bruh?
sccrismyantidrg 4
19- "Gator's BITCHES better be using jimmies."
donny31459 0
You should've shot A-Rod!
slushpup9696 12
189 - ah you're right "You know what, I'm going to hang onto the wooden gun." "To give me back my real gun?" "No. I'm going to give you this... It's a rape whistle. You blow that if you're in any trouble, and someone with an actual gun will come and help you out." *Quietly blows the whistle*
Luke_1989_2007 0
Your a pussy and you'll probably never get a girls number
sccrismyantidrg 4
239- Haha I literally just saw that movie a few days ago so I enjoyed your comment.
nilin95 1
That might have been my douchebag brother sorry.
bhawks8188 0
Did you pop your collar and use the same pick up line?
omerthebomber 4
Its beautiful when other guys references bring people together. *sniff*
nanahiwa 0
Step brothers
tx_beast 5
Err body, err body, err body knows, dem pop collad pimps, they get them hoes!!(said in best black voice)
Happiness2Joy 3
Try coming in the next day looking like a douchebag and try again :P
bthomas0319 2
Oh yeah because she will be like oh my god all of a sudden you changed and now I'm attracted to you! NO.
Vash_41288 10
Stranger shit has happened, I mean your on FML proof enough lol
hellbilly205 17
Id rather get rejected then be the douchebag with the popped collar...
gbreck 0
35- I really do hope you could tell he was pulling a funny... if not, the only logical inference is that you are either a complete dick, or an ignorant douche. I'm going to hazard a guess and say you're just a douche.
slitherbomb 0
35, you're totally right! I mean CMON! How is her opinion of him going to change because of something like that? You're a genius. You know that? You're truly gifted, PURE genius.
dbss11 3
LOL 85- totally just proved 71 right with ignorance, because 85 has no idea what 71 was talking about. 85 fails...
mollyslips 13
hell yeah!
supersillydokio 1
Woah 94 you totes just called 85 well done man you so pointed out the fail that 85 did woohoo you must be smart smart dude.
ScaughtieHolden 11
35, Suddenly. Not all of a sudden. That doesn't even make sense..
firefail1031 0
Apparently 94 doesn't get sarcasm either....
ThatSceneKid1313 9
Thats stupid, being rejected sucks. I'll pop every collar I got.
corruptblackkat 17
lol lol i cried i was laughing so hard at this nice lol
dani212 0
It would change my mind :)
SenorJose89 4
Sorry dude, girls suck these days and tend to go for dousch bags. Good luck finding a nice down to earth girl
Inspired22 11
Don't give up. The worthwhile girls don't go for the popped-collar type anyway.
chrisauh 4
The "worthwhile" girl better not be fat/ugly.
maz255 10
Mr./Ms. Chrisuah, you sir/mam, have made yourself veeerrryy unpopular on this site. Go do yourself a favor and open up a new account or leave because you are going to get soooooo flamed after this comment... btw ladies, i thumbed this comment down *wink*
Iamnotmyself 17
-8 Like Justin Bieber? ( referring to his picture )
slitherbomb 0
28, let him do him. If he's unpopular, who cares? I often find some good comments get thumbed down for no reason like the one he just wrote.
imustbeinsane 2
5 you are a lady and a scholar
Jim717 1
5 dont listen to 28, I bet you he is one of those popped up collar type's!!
hellbilly205 17
Point me in the direction of the girls that dont go for douches please... Jk thats impossible cause there aint any girls like that
Truth_Nazi 0
I hate to break it to you, but yes they do. There aren't any girls nowadays that like the sweet, sensitive type
jvillan87 5
You can blame Jersey Shore for that.....
angelofmusic89 11
Really? there aren't any girls who don't go for douchebags? My fiance is the most loving man on the face of the planet and currently overseas defending us in the war in Iraq. He writes to me every day and numbers his letters so I can read them in order in case one comes sooner than another. Even though I haven't seen him in months our love grows for each other every day. So don't tell me that there aren't women who go for the good guys because we are out there. He is far from being a douchebag.
maz255 10
151 please tell me where in my comment do you see me being a popped-up collar types... i shall now cover myself up in butter, and kill you..
urmomsupstrs 1
so 254 tecnacly 207s point is somewhat valid because your taken, and i bet most of the "worth while" girls are taken as well.
a_nutritionist 10
@254 your opinion of your husband is completely redundant. clearly girls wont be going "oh you know what, youre a complete ****, i like that..." he may be a douche, you wouldnt know, youre the one who likes him. how do you not see that? by the way, im not defending the point, while its true many of the easy girls do go for douchey guys that doesnt apply to the entire female population. besides, guys, if nobody is interested in you, youre the one whos to blame.
angelofmusic89 11
My family loves him, my best friends love him. When I introduced him to my best friend she said she was super jealous because I found a guy who only has eyes for me when I walk into a room. My coworkers who have met him say that he's truly a gentleman. He used to bring me flowers weekly when he was home. He has no douchy qualities and it isn't me being blinded by love.
wolfshadow 4
"Nice guys finish last, you're running' outta gas, your sympathy will get you left behind." Nice Guys Finish Last - Green Day Appropriate for this FML
bribearr 6
Are you ugly?
Happiness2Joy 3
I don't know, are you?
bribearr 6
I don't know. People say I'm pretty, but I'm kinda insecure. I was joking. Calm your ****. :)
Iamnotmyself 17
-22 My imaginary **** are very much not calm.
bribearr 6
Does anyone know if you can delete comments? I kinda just want this gone? I'm sorry to who I offended.
slushpup9696 12
Well now that you know what she likes, do you still want her?
dudeitsdanny 10
Well, when reading the description of the guy, you have to keep in mind that this is an angry OP writing it. Maybe he had a popped collar, and as douchey as that may be, maybe he was an attractive, charismatic dude.. While OP is on FML bad mouthing him for getting the girl. Also notice OP's way of spelling "guitar dude" on his username.. He might be a creepy 1337 nerd who sits in coffee shops to browse the internet for hours and hours on end.. Or who sits there randomly strumming his guitar in public. Maybe OP is the real douche, which seems to be the case due to his attitude. This was longer than it was meant to be.. TL;DR- Maybe OP's the real douche.
kaykay20 0
7 brings up a good point though. I personally would lose interest in someone if they fell for a obvious cheesy pick up line right off the back.
betty66 3
That's what I was thinking hahaa he's just mad because he wasn't hot enough for her
jenno32 3
Telling people not to make assumptions of the OP and then yourself making MORE assumptions on the dude he's talking about isn't helping your argument.
intothecrypt 3
109 that saying ends with 'bat', not back. and trust me, you'd still want her.
6u174r_d00d 6
Lol, you're analyzing the crap out of my profile to win the attention of the Internet, but I'm the "1337 nerd." The only public playing I do is in front of an audience backed by a band. I spelled my username that way because guitar_dude was taken.
kaykay20 0
Thanks for the correction. If I was just looking for casual sex instead of a relationship then I may reconsider if their was something I liked.
bribearr 6
Cool Story bro.
bribearr 6
I mean this for #1.......btw.
kings1fan 6
Everyones got their type
ImaginaryFoe 1
Agreed. I'm not sure what a popped collar is supposed to translate to but it sounds like a superficial way to make a judgement. Maybe he made her laugh. Maybe he makes her laugh every day and decided today was the day he'd finally ask her out. I can't imagine any man making a favourable impression on me by coming from nowhere and saying, "May I please have your telephone number?" Feel the room.
CryMoreFMLs 15
I think OP lives around me. 90% of the girls are like this. But all i need is my phone, my padded cell and my adoring FML fans.
fightingkittens 39
Foe has a good point. A random dude coming up to me and asking for my number would probably result in me flipping him off. Not saying that I would ever go for the douche OP described, but guys are supposed to flirt a LITTLE bit before asking for a number. Unless the OP did a bad job describing, in which case the girl is an insensitive bitch.
TKello 6
Well...that's not very attractive...
The_9th_Doctor 18
no douchebag is attractive
Ray_of_midnight 23
She has shitty taste in men. If she were to date you, too, what does that say about you?
twinny_sc 13
That he's a shitty guy? Nope...nope too easy. It has to mean something else...
iliketurdles 7
Lastcakeleft; did you draw that picture of [H]ouse aka Hugh Laurie?
johnpaul43 0
let's all assume the guy with the popped collar and can talk smooth is a shitty guy just because he can pick up chicks and get free coffee
salvyluv 0
She's not worth your time!