Today, I got lunch with a girl I really like. On the way, for some idiotic reason I decided it would be a good idea to show off by jumping up to high-five the red hand on a traffic sign. I ended up slipping and slamming full-force into the pole. I now have a bruise on my face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at work, I decided to try and impress this girl walking behind me by holding the door open for her. As she was walking through, I inadvertently pulled the door too hard. It slammed against the wall and ricochet back, hitting her right in the face. FML
Today, I tried to high-five someone but somehow ended up slapping them in the face. FML
Today, I was walking down the street with my friend, one I walk down every day, and I saw a really cute guy nearby. I felt like I looked better than usual, so I turned my head to offer a smile, and walked right into a pole. The impact was strong enough to send me falling to the floor. FML
Today, I asked a girl out and made plans to go see a movie. About 5 minutes in, I made a move to put my arm around her and smashed her in the face. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML
Today, I slipped while getting off a bus and caught myself dramatically on the handrail. As I spun around like a stripper, the bus driver stared as if I’d performed a stunt. I nodded like it was planned and walked away, limping slightly. FML
Today, I was on a date with this girl. I attempted to put my arm around her, but I elbowed her in the face instead. FML
Today, I tried to impress a girl by draping my arm over the back of her chair. I ended up elbowing her in the nose. FML
Today, I was riding my bike home from the store. Wanting to impress some passers-by, I tried to do a trick on a sharp turn. I hit a pole with my balls. As I was lying on the ground in agony, a guy pulled over, took a picture, and took off laughing. FML
Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML
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Top comments
alexphyllis 5
You can always make the story sound more manly over lunch..?
BeccaHugs 17
Why do boys seem to think that girls like it or will be impressed by you doing stupid things? Trust me, she would have probably rather you just have been you than try to be "funny" like that. I know first dates can be nerve-wracking, but just act like normal next time; be yourself.
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Comments (63)
alexphyllis 5
You can always make the story sound more manly over lunch..?
PantyGAMES 10
Or just completely make one up. Allan on two and a halt men got hit by flying toast, but he told that super gorgeous lady it was a bar fight.
jmk1469 5
YDI
Bryceps 4
"Yeah, the pole had a problem with me. I kicked his ass, but not before it gave me this here bruise." that's believable, right?
Fml_FTW228 10
It happened while he was with her. Hence; "I tried to show off..." if he wasn't with her who was he showing off to... the sign? Therefore, he cannot lie about it. The bruise isn't as much a problem as the fact that he hit his face trying to show off right next to her.
FMLshark 12
First of all, she was there. As someone already covered. Second of all, to 19, the correct way to spell it is "lying".
Trisha_aus 15
Op...DUMBASS
EliHak 0
It does not say anywhere that she was with him, it says "on the way". That leaves the possibility that they would just meet up for lunch.
FMLshark 12
90, it also said that he "showed off". That was most likely to said girl.
Mommyof2_91 10
I find it extremely annoying when guys try showing off by doing stupid things. Reminds me of when I was in junior high and guys would show off by hitting stop signs. I thought it was pretty stupid then too...
poppysoda 4
At least you had lunch with her!
domking1315 20
I am not amused
PostItSticker 11
Say you got in a fight, it'll help you get a second date :D
hayyyyleyyyybaby_fml 14
It appears to me as though the girl may have been walking with him. Unless lying turns her on I doubt that would get him a second date..
justjazzmyn 3
he said "on the way" so MAYBE he wasn't w/ her yet. i'm just guessing though, haha. but if that is the case, i don't think many girls think fighting is all that attractive... i don't like it at least! everyone has their klutzy moments. honesty is the best policy. lol
FMLshark 12
He was most likely with her. Otherwise, I don't know who he'd be "showing off" to. Instant YDI for thinking that's impressive. But plus one brownie point for at least acknowledging it was idiotic, OP.
zoPwNAgEzo 21
What the **** compelled you to do this? YDI, but whatever you do, don't tell her what actually happened
HairyPunisher 27
As the comments under 3 already mentioned, the girl was WITH OP when he hit the sign and slipped. She had to have been. How else could he have "shown off" to someone that wasn't there?
irockfendergirl 0
We need to move jackasses, like yourself, to a private island somewhere so you and your future spawns can't screw up the rest of the population. Good grief.
FMLshark 12
...For slapping a sign? I'd hate to think what you'd do to other people on this site.
sleepywaterpony 5
Charlie Brown has spoken. TO THE ISLAND WITH YOU!!!
HairyPunisher 27
Really 5? That's what the thumb down feature is for. Don't take life so seriously sometimes.
JFurr 9
There was nothing reflexive in your sentence, 5. I'd rather have a love struck puppy who made a mistake in the heat of the money with a girl than someone who degrades someone and tries to sound smart while doing so by using "yourself" improperly.
Zatheria 1
5- I agree. And let's send you there with him.
BeccaHugs 17
Why do boys seem to think that girls like it or will be impressed by you doing stupid things? Trust me, she would have probably rather you just have been you than try to be "funny" like that. I know first dates can be nerve-wracking, but just act like normal next time; be yourself.
the_true_batman 10
It is the type of thing I would do when I was alone, just for fun. Doing it to show off is just stupid.
talun 10
=.=
Kr3m 5
You're assuming a lot when you assume he isn't just an idiot showoff anyway. It's very likely he was in fact "being himself."
KrazieKleo 13
Should've heeded the sign and stopped.... YDI
WCARlover 35
guys should realize that when they show off it just makes them look stupid...even if they do succeed in whatever they're trying to do, it's still dumb
zachherbert 10
Unless you can be Batman... Always choose to be Batman.
RecklessJellyBea 7
You aren't the first man to act like an idiot because of a girl. Just tell her you were attacked on the street by a gang of vicious thieves or something.
Dishpan 3
It's implied in the fml by "show off" that the girl was present when the he did this. So I don't think lying is going to help.
munchy22 5
You are lucky it's just a bruise you ended up with. What is the thought process I wonder for doing something as dumb as that? Are you related to Bam Margera?
MelissaHope1986 8
Wow! So hitting a sign means he's related to Bam? That's like saying because I touched a skate board today I'm related to Tony hawk.
munchy22 5
Sadly, sarcasm is lost on most people. What I meant was... Never mind why waste my time explaining.
thatKidzmOm 10
If he WAS related to Bam, he should've used that to impress her instead of running into a pole. :-D