Today, my girlfriend told me that she's totally convinced I'm gay. When I tried explaining that I can't be if I'm attracted to her, she took it as me thinking she's mannish. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I learned that the girl I love thinks I'm gay. To be honest, I'm having doubts too. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she's a lesbian. And that she could only stay with me because I had a "girly face and voice". She also admitted to having a crush on my sister. FML
Today, my girlfriend's mother insisted she's not homophobic, but however people only 'turn gay' because they were sexually abused, or are 'making it up to get attention'. She informed me I'm the former and my girlfriend is the latter. Uh huh. FML
Today, my girlfriend, who I've loved and dated for over a year, confessed that she's actually straight as an arrow. All this time, she's basically been using me as an accessory to enhance her "social status" and make her guy friends horny. FML
Today, a female friend of mine keeps telling people we’re dating. No matter how many times I told her I'm gay and only attracted to men, she won’t take that for an answer. She’s actually arranged for me to meet her parents next weekend. FML
Today, my girlfriend accused me of cheating after she read some of my messages I sent to an old female friend. Apparently I'm very flirty with her. I showed her the same kind of messages that I sent to my guy friends as well. Now I'm apparently gay and cheating. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend is actually a man. Not a transgender person, I'm okay with that, but an actual gay man who gets a kick out of pranking other guys. FML
Today, I talked to a girl I like. I tried to make her jealous by telling her I had a "thing" going with another girl. She looked deeply into my eyes and said, "Wait, aren't you gay?" FML
Today, I told my girlfriend I wanted to tell her something important. Coincidentally, she did too. She wanted to tell me that she thinks she's actually gay. I wanted to tell her I love her. FML
Today, I came out to my mom as a lesbian. She told me that it was impossible, because since she isn't one, she therefore couldn't have given birth to one. She still won't believe me. FML
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Top comments
tnfan 3
Dude, just give it to her to show her your not gay!
borntoperform 14
Wow your girlfriend seems pretty ignorant.
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Comments (133)
tnfan 3
Dude, just give it to her to show her your not gay!
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Okay honey turn around and I'll show you how not-gay I am! ;D
ThreeSheetsGone 12
Maybe you should rethink making her wear the strap-on when you have sex with her.
margie2194 12
If a guy compliments you on your shirt, he's looking at your boobs. If a guy compliments you on your pants he must really like your butt. If a guy compliments you on your shoes HE'S GAY HUN!! Maybe you should stop complimenting a girl on her shoes...
joey1314 5
Hey number 1. Having sex with her is not going to prove anything. Do you know how many homosexuals have sex with women. Before they realize that they are homosexuals. Think before you say something.
NomOnShroomz 14
Joey, if so many homosexuals have sex with women so people think that they're straight, it's because it works.
joey1314 5
No because they are not Sure of their sexuality. Yes some homosexuals do that. But in the first place it's to see if they really are homosexual. Or to see if they got any sexual pleasure from women.
ElmoStoleMyLook 1
Bahahaha xD Im sorry, with all respect to the love you have for her, GODDAMN i really cant believe there's so many people like that... And they still get in relationships.. Messed up ^_^
NomOnShroomz 14
Joey, you said that sleeping with her wouldn't prove anything but I disagree, it works.
Jennyboo5797 4
OP turn this whole situation against her and say the only reason you're turning gay is because men could probably pleasure you more than she does xD maybe you'll get better sex (:
joey1314 5
It does not prove anything now in days no one has to hide anything from anyone. If you think that they do then you are just as ignorant as the rest of the world. I know homosexuals that say they had sex with women to see if turns them on. And the say they felt nothing for her sexually.
Just_Peed 0
Dood uh..you do know that homosexual means guy + guy or girl + girl. Right?
Cinn_fml 23
Joey - The first part of your post (#56) is, unfortunately, not true. There is still a great amount of intolerance to a lot of topics (this being one of them) and some do still feel the need to hide it. Which is a shame. So NomOnShroomz is right in the sense that it people did (and still do) it because it works. However, with the girl in question, I doubt it will because she seems like a girl who'll twist it to make it fit her view.
22cute 17
Joey is right. I have plenty of friends who were married to men who then decide that they are gay & divorce the wife for a man. I have male friends with the same experience. Sex is just not that simple. And it is certianly not proof of anything. Many other cultures accept homosexual experiences as just that -an experience. NOT a person's sexual definition. It's sad we feel the need to box people in or out in our culture.
AndreKanaan 6
Hey #43 he probably just sucks... (if you know what I mean)
verlorenerFall 8
I don't know why you got thumbed down sk many times; I was going to say exactly this. Just Because a
MerrikBarbarian 9
well of course homosexuals have sex with women. we're called lesbians Hun ;) but joking aside, many gays do engage in straight sex trying to fake being straight because they fear homophobia and what not.
adamls96 0
Or he has a foot fetish...
Lanceeden 12
Op may be too gay to function. Oh damn. Is that still only ok when Janice says it?
borntoperform 14
Wow your girlfriend seems pretty ignorant.
chiddy_bang71 0
Or she seems like a dumbass
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Not necessarily. You just can't win with some women. They've got their mind set on something, and will go out of their way to twist your words in a manner that supports their delusions. It's like the infamous "Do these jeans make me look fat?" question. No matter what you say, you'll somehow end up saying they are fat.
Crazyjoe33 6
Then quit acting gay!
sarapsosis 1
quit using the adjective "cute" to describe shit!
HatefulPilot 0
Just kill her. Plenty more girls in the ******' ocean.
fthislyfe 22
I had the same problem with my ex. He was a muslim and thus homophobic. So he kept on denying it
theghost1309 11
So that automatically makes him gay?
fthislyfe 22
No! He was gay, but he was trying to deny it! It's ridiculous how you jump to conclusions and think you're so smart
razzledazzle21 23
Why does she think that?
squanmonster 8
That's so gay
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
I hope you hang yourself with your H&M scarf While jacking off listening to mozart You bitch and moan about LA Wishing you were in the rain reading Hemingway You don’t eat meat And drive electrical cars You’re so indie rock it’s almost an art You need SPF 45 just to stay alive You're so gay.
WordSmyth 2
I believe 6 was being ironic 23. Homophobia is so misused nowadays.
WordSmyth 2
Ok, lol my mistake.
KiddNYC1O 22
"Homosexuals are gay!"
sarapsosis 1
Homosexuals act Homosexual
decidedlyvague 11
Homophobia is actually the fear of gays. Calling Homophobia gay is just silly.
13FTW 9
Yeah, 121, it was a pretty gay time to chime in with that comment.
folgy 10
I'm putting this in my favorites purely because of I iz b a trolls comment
iliketofu 6
So, are you? And is she?
sugarkiller_fml 6
Man up!
oops_im_fucked 8
so what are u saying that he should man up?
KiddNYC1O 22
I guess that he should keep his man count up.
sugarkiller_fml 6
Man up!
DFlit1 0
Just tell her that u wouldn't b able to get off if she gave u head if u were gay... Then test it to show her
ikickgingers 15
I'm not a man nor am I gay... So no **** but couldn't he just close his eyes and pretend some sexy manboy is taking it to the throat??