Today, my coworker paid me back the $15 I let him borrow and we shook hands. Later, I was called into my boss's office, where he threatened to fire me for doing a drug deal in front of customers. The police are getting involved. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I asked my boss for a raise, explaining that another shop offered me a job at a higher rate, but I would stay if he would offer me the same. Instead, he fired me then called the other shop and said I was fired for failing a drug test. FML
Today, a customer at work became violent and started hitting me and my coworker. Not wanting him to get the shit beat out of us, I used a move that pinned the guy on the ground. The police came and he was arrested. I was then fired for assaulting a customer. FML
Today, I got a surprise raise and a promotion at work. Hours after accepting, our company was raided by police on fraud charges. Due to my new managerial position, I had to get grilled by cops. I may not have a job at all next week. FML
Today, I got fired for failing a drug test for weed. My boss is the one who sells me weed. FML
Today, I was telling my coworker that I was considering quitting the shady, 50-shades-of-scum business we work at. He snitched to our boss, who quickly fired me on bullshit charges of incompetence, theft, and workplace bullying. I guess I'm not getting a good reference from him. FML
Today, my boss decided to have the whole staff drug tested and fire everyone who failed. Out of an original staff of 14 people, only my boss, two coworkers and I remain. I now have four times my normal workload and am seriously thinking maybe I should've said "Yes" to drugs. FML
Today, I got fired from my job. I caught a customer taking pictures up my skirt, and my boss fired me for calling the police and "making a big deal out of it". FML
Today, my boss called me into his office. After yelling and firing me, his assistant comes in telling him he had mistaken me for someone else. He did not give me my job back, as he claimed it would make an awkward work environment. FML
Today, at work I wrote up my boyfriend (whom I've been secretly dating, because I'm his supervisor) for being $40 short on his register. Our policy is to write up anyone short over $10. He got mad and told my boss we're dating, and I was instantly fired. Then I got dumped for being a "tattle-tale". FML
Today, a customer threatened to come back later and shoot the whole place up. Why? I didn't give him a discount on his beer. My boss's reaction when I called the police: "Why didn't you give him the discount?!" Last week he bitched me out for letting a girl off for being a few cents short on hers. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
acmariner99 25
Wow, people really know how to jump to conclusions.
Tony Friddle 11
It was the handshake, those pesky things are shady af
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (17)
jediloader 12
Hey man! I have that $15 I owe you
acmariner99 25
Wow, people really know how to jump to conclusions.
ohsnapword 21
I agree. It sounds like this guy is an Olympic gold medalist in the long jump to conclusions;
acmariner99 25
I loled. Good one!
Tony Friddle 11
It was the handshake, those pesky things are shady af
davecross 11
If there has been a drug problem at you job before then I can understand his concerned. But he should have just asked you what was the hand shake about. Calling the police because a "drug deal" was way overboard.
Lobby_Bee 18
I blame movies and tv shows. Only there people shake hands when dealing drugs. In reality it is done as quickly as possible and not to draw any attention.
TheEpicKitten 20
Did he only care that it was in front of customers?
tonyfan00 38
So then just give him the weed and promise it won't happen again!
RichardPencil 32
If you have $2, you can now get a lobster sandwich. Hopefully, your boss is not a seagull.
wmayrhofer 18
maybe you should skip the gangsta "handshake" next time
PennyLane27 32
"15 bucks, little man. Put that shit in my hand. If the money doesn't show, then you owe me, owe me, owe!"
maharb01 17
like jungle love!
sumocj 14
I think I'd like to know ya know ya. Yeah what!